The wind slithered through bare, knobby branches of the ancient oak three. It’s limbs creaked and groaned under the weight of the harsh breeze. The steel gray sky added an ominous backdrop to the garish tree limbs1
“One day soon, my bows shall break and crush a creature,” it bellowed through cracked bark.2
The wind didn’t listen. The wind didn’t care. It swished and swayed around bare trunks and wisped bushes. Words were carried on the air, softly. The voices came again closer.3
Stomping through the undergrowth, twisting around spindly bushes strode two young boys. Broken stems were left in their wake4
“Hey Tommy, my brother Brad says there’s a talking tree out here. It’s supposed to tell the future.” The brown haired boy elbowed a smaller blond boy in the ribs.5
“Hey, what was that for?” Tommy shoved the taller boy.6
“Don’t know? Come on, Brad says it’s right over here, I think.”7
The wind ruffled Tommy’s longer honey hair. “Roger, what does it say?”8
Roger shrugged his bony shoulders. “Don’t know.” His holey jeans snagged on a thorny bush at the base of an alder tree.9
As they came closer and the old oak split a gapping hole in the middle of his trunk, eye level with the boys. Two knot holes opened and the tree blinked lazily. “What is it you seek?” it boomed.10
The boys started, clutching onto the other, and took a couple of steps back. They both gripped their navy blue jackets closer to their small bodies.11
“M-my brother Brad says you can tell the future,” Roger squeaked, sticking his chest out bravely and stepping in front.12
“Hahahaha!” came a big belly laugh. “Why yes, I can. What is it you would like to know, young child?”13
Tommy stood behind Roger clutching his arm tightly. Roger shook it off, feeling more confident. With his chest puffed out he asked, “What’s our future?” 14
The ancient tree closed his knot eyes and sighed. The cracked bark lips muttered and moaned. It’s limbs twitched. The sky had turned a tar black and it threatened to pour down tears of sorrow.15
The boys stood shuffling their sneakered feet across the ground, making an undersized ditch in the ground. A lizard slithered across a small pile of rocks by the tree’s roots.16
“Hey tree!” Roger called impatiently over the sudden shrieking of the wind. “Hey Mr. Tree! Are you going to tell us our future or not?”17
The knot eyes slowly opened and it said low and deeply, “come closer you two.”18
They inched closer, eagerly sliding their feet and kicking up dust.19
Slowly its branches lowered inch by patient inch to reach behind the preoccupied boys. The gapping hole yawned larger as the limbs pushed both boys into it.20
Screams followed as the old tree chopped down, chewed slowly. A wide smile of satisfaction spread across its creased face. The crunching of bones was hidden by the now howling wind.21
A single trickle of crimson blood snaked between the bark ridges as the oak tree said, “I see into the future that you will be eaten.”22
And evil laugh rose on the wind to be blown to the far end of the forest. The leaves that hung on desperately shivered against the persisting wind.23
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“Hey, did you hear that?” Brad asked Bridget.
Author notes
Options 2
In a list
A contest entry
- Feeling Left Out? by EtherealButterfly.
475 points, ended April 13, 2007, 16 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - my first contest!(lots of options!!) by Blu3Rose.
310 points, ended August 19, 2007, 23 entries
Honorable mention
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - ANYTHING ABOUT TREES!!!!!! by Avalanche..
175 points, ended July 17, 8 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 28 of 28
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very good
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Thanks
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ewww. but awesome! loved it, this was, well, i dont know it it's supposed to be, but i thought this was hilarious! and kinda sad...and disgusting...but i still thought this was amazingly written!
you used great words, and it was just...great!
good luck with the contest! -
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Thanks for the wonderful comment. I really hope you did enjoy this. And thanks
~*Brooke*~
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Good
Well, I definitely love the tree eating the children. This is the sort of thing children should be reading nowadays. Nothing like a good supernatural scare. I would have liked to have read it on halloween for the true atmosphere of the peice as I was waiting for the tree to eat them. My only real comment would be that it seemed a little short. The tree could have spun some grand tale to entice the children a little more. But it is meant for kids and you dont want them to lose interest so it would need to be a fun tale. -
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Hey thanks for taking the time to read and comment on this story. I would have made it longer, but I am a slow writer and this was for a contest that was ending sooner. That's the main reason for it being short and the other is because it is a childrens story and you were right I didn't want to lose their interest.
Again thanks for commenting.
~*Brooke*~
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Good language
I applaud you use of language in this children’s story, but kids today might have trouble with it. Favorite part is the chomping least favorite "undersized ditch".
This is better than my writing so I really have no place to criticize.
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I had to read this story again to see where I use 'undersized ditch' at and you're right it does seem odd. Well I really need to read and edit this story. Everyone has been giving such great ideas.
Thank you for taking the time to read this and comment.
~*Brooke*~
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Read well
You did a great job with this story, kept the reader wanting to read on. I think this work well as a stand alone story. I would have liked to seen a few chapters, maybe, of how they came to visit the tree. Like they are at school and they are chatting about what the brother has told them, then maybe they are dared to enter the forest....just an idea....
Just one nit below, I am noe expert on this and its just a suggestion.
The boys started,(no need for the coma here) clutching onto the other, and took a couple of steps back.
Sarahhitch.
beginning: 4, language: 5, plot: 4, ending: 4, dialog: 5, characters: 4.
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Welcome to the group and thanks for taking the time to read this and comment.
A couple of ppl have mentioned something about going on with this. Maybe someday I will.
Thanks for pointing out the error. You'll find that I am a terrible speller and my puncuation is just as bad. I will usually put in too many comma's or not enough 
Again thanks
~*Brooke*~
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Cool story Brooke,
It reminds me of something we would have heard around the campfire on a boyscout camping trip.
And the tree reminded me of Treebeard, the ent (talking tree), in the Lord of the Rings, ..until he ate them. -chuckles-
I like how he chewed them slowly, with a smile of satisfaction as he did so. Great gruesome description. I love it.
Will Brad and Bridget be his next victims??
Greatly entertaining write. So maybe I'm kinda sadistic sometimes.
~Greg~
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I really should take this to the next level, but I'm thinking about holding a contest to see what other ppl would come up with.
Thanks for reading and for commenting.
~*Brooke*~
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really cool
Brooke...wow this was a cool idea. I really enjoyed it as it evoked memories of me and my buddy when I was little. We were scared of the trees in our woods because of stories we had heard. I will say that if you get time you may want to do a quick edit as there are some spelling and grammar things here and there. Nothing major, just touch up stuff....Finally, I have a cool idea for a follow up story you could do. (Or a contest if you wished to have one)----Why not follow the boys that were eaten into the evil place that lurks inside the trunk of the tree? A whole different world, with evil beings throughout. This would give the boys a whole series of misadventures, and a whole series of stories. Ultimately, you could chain them together into a novel. Just a thought....Thanks again for another great read!!
beginning: 4, language: 4, plot: 4, ending: 4, dialog: 4, characters: 4.
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I just can't picture a good male tree. It brings to mind 'The Wizard of Oz' and the scene where the trees are throwing the apples at Dorothy and the Scarecrow. I know they were just defending themselves but that's what came to mind when I was writing this. But I won't hold it against you if you are a male tree
I like your idea and I like Soda's also. Her's was were Brad chops down the tree to find his brother alive.
I think I will hold a contest about what they find on the other side. Hmmm...thanks for the idea.
You just know how to stroke a blocked writers ego Thanks for the wonderful comments and for taking the time to read this.
I will go through and see about fixing those spelling errors.
Brooke -
ps
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I see the tree as a women too.
This story made me want to kill myself. Just thought I'd share that, but it's not my preference as you can tell with my story, I like happy endings and thank you for commenting.
I think the reason why the tree is imagined as a women is for what you yourself said earlier, women are kind and good natured, which would give the tree sadly more of an advantage. A womens voice is soothing and welcoming to little children, and not make them really think twice that the tree would to them harm in anyway.
That's just my suggestion -
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I'm really sorry that this story inflicted such a feeling for you. Usually if you read the catergories then you can tell what kind of storie it is.
But thanks for reading and for commenting.
~*Brooke*~
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HAHAHAHA I so totaly loved this story.
it was like funny skary i loved that.
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Thanks for your kind words and for taking the time to read this. It was really fun to write.
Again thank you.
Brooke
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*claps*
Wooooooow... this was chilling, poor poor innocent boys x.x eaten.. all because of curiousity...
Brad x.x why did he tell his younger brother that there was a tree who spoke??? Wah.. what an evil tree.. (Is it just me, or do I imagine the evil tree better as a lady tree?)
Anyway, I know the prompt was given in the contest BUT I love how you cast this mysteriously evil/dark spell over the whole piece. IF and WHEN you continue this, please have Brad chop down the tree and.. maybe find his brother alive? x.x wah, I hope he and his friend ARE alive
Thanks for sharing this.. I shall warn my younger brothers about trees
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See now I saw the tree as male. I'm biase I guess. Female's are good natured and males are evil. I guess I should really sit down and think about why I think that why
Brad told his brother because Brad didn't know that the tree gets children. Brad's a teenager so it wouldn't eat him or the girl. But the two boys were children.
Chopping down the tree and finding them alive would put a happy ending to this. I'll have to think about that.
Only warn your brothers is it's a talking tree 
Thanks for reading and for commenting.
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The only thing that I noticed that you might want to change is instead of the tree chopped down, perhaps it should chomp the boys instead
Definately a childrens story that nightmares are made of I liked it muchly.
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Good suggestion. I will have to go over that part. It does need a little polishing up. Thanks for reading and commenting.
But I hope not to scary
~*Brooke*~ -
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LoL, not for the child who likes scary stories I loved them while I was a kid, though I must admit sometimes I lost sleep over them
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Little boys, talking trees, death, OH MY!
"And evil laugh rose on the wind", should be "an". I just wanted to point that out first off.
Now, about your story. I'M SO HAPPY THAT YOU CHOSE THIS ONE!!!! I didn't think anyone would at first and here you have and you've done it well...very well. Your imagery is exceptional and the lurid ending is much loved by yours truly!
I get the feeling that this story shall be continued, am I right? If I'm not, I should be! This story is shrieking for a continuation!!!! CONTINUE PLEASE!!! Bravo, well done, and welcome to the Finalists List. -
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I am thinking of continue, but for now that's it. I loved this idea and couldn't wait to write the story. I love fantasy and try to write as much as I can. Thank you doing this contest and for putting me on the finialist list YAY for me
I will fix that little mistake now and thanks for reading and commenting.
~*Brooke*~
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This was really good. You should continue it into a part two...The best of luck to you in the contest!
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Thanks Kari. I just might continue on but I thought maybe that was a good place to stop for now.
Who knows it might be prize material
~*Brooke*~
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