Desired Part 1

1

"Don't dare let me die here, nor my child. We will rise again, Gods. Dare you look down on me and laugh! Dare you refuse to accept me!" She screamed to the heavens. People walked by, looking at the woman strangely. They must have caught a late movie that day. She held her baby, crying to it. "Anira, please forgive me. I have been cruel to the Gods, you are forever cursed," Amaris tried to get the Gods to forgive her. "Amaris! You have betrayed us! We do not laugh at your misfortune, but cry for you. You deserve your punishment and have therefore been stripped of your ranking! The child will come to us when she is fifteen years of age. You will never return, unless we are shown you have repented for your sins!" Zeus bellowed.

Amaris fell to her knees and sobbed, not wanting to lose her beloved daughter. "Amaris," Her mothers voice came down from the heavens. "Please, ask for forgiveness." Luna begged, trying hard to get her daughter to return home. "Your child cannot stay there in the mortal world." Luna continued. "Mother, I know what is best for her!" Amaris screamed, refusing to give up. Anira began to cry, wanting food. The child's want was fulfilled, milk from her mothers breast. Anari was content, but what about Amaris?2

3

~~~~
"Please...Food. I'm hungry." Anari begged the young man before her. He laughed and pushed her back toward her mother. "Stupid beggars" He said to his friends with a nasty look toward Anari and Amaris. "Please," Her voice was soft as she hugged her mother. "I'm sorry baby...Some people are just not kind..." Amaris said to the five year old. "Mommy, I'm hungry." The young girls voice said. Tears filled the mothers eyes as her child pleaded for food and drink. "I know baby...I know." 4

5

 6

7

~~~~
Amaris waited until her child was napping before leaving. She went through the shops, her body still beautiful despite how poor she looked. She walked past the many foods, her mouth watering. She began to steal food, something she had refused to do before. Her daughter needed it now. She would do anything for her baby girl, even steal. Someone grabbed her hand, yanking her away from the apple she was about to take. "Wretched thief!" The man growled, throwing her to the ground. this caused the other foods to fall from her clothes. "How dare you!" He yelled. "Please, I need food for my child!" She pleaded, her eyes full of tears. 'This is what they have reduced me too. A beggar..' She thought as he began to beat her.

She felt blood running down her body and her vision was turning black. She was about to be out. What was only minutes seemed like hours as the man abused her body. She was now bloody and worn. All she had wanted was food for her child. Did she really deserve this? As her eyes began to close, she saw something. A small six year old girl crying out for her mother, tears falling from her pale, sunk in cheeks. That was the last thing she had wanted to see, her daughter crying.
8

Author notes

Anari means Desired.

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    : Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have 0. (?) (Line numbers)
    Ratings:

Comments

1 - 19 of 19

  • Violette silver member
    April 10

    Edit | Reply

    This is fantastic!

    So sad. I cannot wait to read more. Ummm but I think sentence one and two are supposed to have question marks after them. I don't think it makes sense otherwise, no offense. It was a powerful beginning and I'm just trying to help you fix it. Oh and the punctuation around your quotation marks need a little work too.

    I hope that doesn't make me sound mean or anything. (gulps)

    Honestly this story hooked me right in. I'm a ttl sucker for god and super power stories and I hope you continue so I can read more.

    beginning: 4, language: 4, plot: 5, ending: 4, dialog: 5, characters: 4.


  • lydsweetiepie96
    April 24, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    This is great. Very detailed. It's sad too. I love it though! Great job and keep writing!!!


  • Hinata-is-me silver member
    September 15, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    wow. this is really great! i am reading all of your work!


  • Dreams of Insanity
    August 29, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This was really good! I really want to read more! Wow this was soooooo good. I truly love this piece! Wow you are a great writer Emiko! This was some of the best work I've seen!


  • Poet-of-the-shadows
    August 11, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    very interesting im defiinatly going to have to read teh other parts ! keep wrighting emiko , i shall keep reading


  • Prodigious.Mirth
    August 7, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    woo ^^

    one question- and a statement- what inspired you to write this and wow this is wonderfull


  • djlovinloops
    August 3, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    cant get enuf

    • Unpredictable Lover
      August 3, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Instead of continueously commenting on this and telling me how good it is, why don't you read the other parts to the story.


  • djlovinloops
    August 3, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    very good


  • djlovinloops
    August 3, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    lol


  • Hell Boy
    July 17, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Very Good!
    I wish to read more and see what happens.
    -Marshall

  • Smitty pwns SW
    July 5, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    awsome

    beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.


  • demon-kun
    March 30, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    *sobs*

    that *sniff* was awsome*sob*

    beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.


  • Kaori
    March 26, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    hey... just wondering... were you going for Zeus? or did you just want to spell it Zues? you also misspelled thief in the 4th paragraph. And this is good.
    It reminds me of this one story i started on a while ago... though she has a son instead of a daughter... etc.

1 - 19 of 19