II. The Burning
My mother was as god-fearing a woman as there could be; she was not a member of any cult or any alternative religion. Aradia Kern was a devout Christian woman who wore a cross around her neck and attended mass every Sunday morning and Wednesday night mass every other week. She bowed her head before she supped and taught her three children the way of God.
But she was also a witch; not a malicious witch, but a witch all the same. She cooked up potions for sick neighbors to make them well, and protected her home with a simple spell posted on the front door. She invoked God in every spell and crossed herself over every potion. So it came as a surprise to all of us when she was accused of witchcraft and was sentenced to death.
I was seven years old. My brother Absolom was twelve, and my sister Rosemary was four, and our father had left us when he heard rumors about mom’s indictment. We were with my mother when they took her away to the Erzsebet Prison (or, as it came to be known in the Heathen Underground, the Pagan Eradication Center), where I saw my mother burned alive.
Mom was dragged out of her jail cell early the morning of April 24, 2010. She was barely half awake, but was quickly aware of what was going on. They didn’t give her any warning, or any preparation time. And they didn’t let us say goodbye, either; that is why I followed them into The Chamber.
The execution chamber is a dimly lit room with six metal beams—stakes—set apart by about three feet. They are equipped with heavy chains, and there is an inset platform that floods with gasoline and sets alight via blowlamps set in the walls of the platform. They set my mother in the platform and chained her against the stake, even as she struggled and begged to be spared. I watched in dread and awe as the platform filled with gasoline that drowned my poor mother’s feet.
“Please don’t,” she begged, one last time. “My children need me!”
“No one needs a witch,” the executioner sneered, and hit the switch that would set the blowlamps alight.
My mother screamed in agony as the fire licked up around her, and on to her. She writhed and cried but could not avoid the flames. Her skin blistered and her clothing burned away, leaving her completely exposed as flames engulfed her. Her hair burned away and she was covered in her own blood, and after two minutes of agony she stopped screaming; her body went limp; the blowtorches were switched off; and they left her naked corpse to go out by itself, blistered and bloody, with no more dignity left for this once-beautiful woman. When the fire went out and her bare, disfigured body was clearly visible, you could still see the silver cross she wore around her neck—melted into the flesh of her chest.
No one had noticed me standing there as I watched my mother die.
Author notes
This is actually the second part of my story idea, "Witches' Railroad." I just want to know how it works. The first part isn't necessary to read to understand this for the most part..
Please tell me what you think of the way this was written.
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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I like it! I love that the cross was melted into her skin. Theres some amazing symbolizim in that.
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"but" and "and" shouldn't start sentences.
the idea is a good one. not sure about the time though, people are more open about witchcraft now and not as likely to "burn witches at the stake" in 2010.
as far as the story goes the detailing goes, it has a slightly rushed feeling. it would be nice if you could slow that down a little. Also if she's such a devout Christian why is she practicing witchcraft?
you went into amazing details at the end which really made the story come alive. this is a good piece, I hope you expand this part. -
Hey I really did like the story. But where was you brother and sister? How come you were there alone? You mentioned them earlier. Perhaps she could have screamed something as she burnt, maybe forgive my persecuters or something like that. . Other than that, very nice indeed.
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This was an interesting idea, I liked it, I like what you did with it, but I do have one thing to kinda critique. You describe at length the burning of the mother, but you never describe what she looks like. Give us a better view of what she looks like, I mean how tall is she, is she fair or dark skinned, whats her hair color, what is her hair length, things like this. They really add a sense of connection for your reader. Other than that this is pretty good, could use some touch ups, but of course you never really get a perfect writing, I really liked it
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This is very interesting. Although, as a Christian myself, I don't really feel that you should mix Christianity and witchcraft together, as in having one person be dealing with both at the same time, unless he/she's a witch, choosing to give it up and go to Christ. Anyways. This is just what I think and believe. I will say though that the story's written well, Grammer wise, although as a small bit of critism, you might want to take a look at the first paragraph. Keep on writing.
God Bless! -
Catchy Title
My only question is how the narrator happened to be standing there; How was it that she was allowed to follow them to the chamber.
This is an interesting concept and written very well.
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