Chapter one - Bill in the outback
I saw a Bilby yesterday, I called him Bill. Bill could talk. When I met him he looked curious. Today I went to see him and he said "Hello" to me. I first met him in the outback with all the other animals and I also saw a hunter trying to hunt animals such as Bilbys and kangaroos.
Chapter two - Bill gets Bilbynapped
In the middle of one night, I went to check on Bill, he was O.K and safe. The next morning I went to check on Bill and I saw Bill talking to his mum, he said "Hello mum" Bill's mum said "Hello Bill, How are you? I havn't seen you in a long time". The next morning I came out, the hunter had grabbed him before I got a chance to get him. The hunter put Bill in the net and tied it up with a big, long piece of elastic. The hunter took Bill to the labratory.
Chapter three - Bill gets rescued
The next day the scientist looked at Bill, they said "Why don't we keep him in here until next weekend, the all agreed.Then just after the scientist left the laboratory I took Bill and we went back before the scientist went back in, they all said "Where is the Bilby"? They all shrugged their shoulders.1
Chapter four - Bill comes home2
The next day Bill came home with me. We had a party for Bills arrival back home. We had eucalyptus pavlova, eucalyptus lamingtons and eucalyptus leaves. Peter Platypus, Kylie Kangaroo, Bill Bilby Dylan Dingo, Charli cat and Edward Echidna came to the party.3
Chapter five - Bill makes a new friend4
Bill finds a rabbit named Ryan Rabbit, Ryan Rabbit asked Bill " What is your name?" Bill replied "Hello my name is Bill." Bill asked Ryan if he wanted to go to the park for one and a half hours. So Ryan asked his mum and she said "ok." But don't be any later than 8-oh-clock. Ryans mums name is Renee.
Chapter 6 - A robber comes past5
When it was 7:55, Bill and Ryan went home and before their eyes they saw a robber running away from the police. Bill asked Ryan "why are they running away from the police?" Bill said "I think they're running away because they stole something."6
Author notes
This is a poem my teacher asked me to make up myself at school.
A contest entry
- I Wish I May...I Wish I Might... by Kari.
350 points, ended March 24, 2007, 8 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - To Our Darling Original Characters... by yumesandman.
500 points, ended April 2, 2007, 19 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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A couple editing errors here and there. I agree with the past comments that it does seem like a children's story. It was kinda choppy but an interesting story.
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There are some spelling errors and it doesn't have a ending. but it is still pretty good. Though it seems more like a childrens story.
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Thank You
Thank you for this comment. It has made me very happy.
I am a child. I am only 10 years old
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Well, it doesn't have an ending. Also, it's written like a children's book but isn't marked as a children's story.
I think it's interesting. Is it lost on me? Yes. Could someone else enjoy it? Yes. So I think you did a good job, it just wasn't my thing. -
Nice!
Hey, this was interesting. Really interesting. You caught my attention and held fast like I was a fish and you were the fisherman. Good work with this. WOW. -
This is very well done. In depth and good. I wish you the very best of luck in the contest.
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