Chapter Two - Lucian

Lucian's apartment was located at a ten minute walking distance from mine. It's strange that in those ten minutes one can find complete isolation, peace and quite, a world hidden away from everyone. Just as he liked it. I've never been one to remain happy for long if left without any form of human contact. This probably explains why one would rarely find me sitting at home.

I let myself into his apartment as he had given me his spare key years ago when he first moved in. I could hear Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata playing in the background, my favourite piano solo. Achingly beautiful…every time I listen to it I can hear his longing and it only succeeds in intensifying mine. I slowly shut the door behind me and stared straight ahead through the dimly lit hallway into the living room. He had the windows open and the net curtains were gently billowing in the breeze, almost as if they too were effected by Beethoven's sadness. I felt a chill run down my spine and shivered slightly. There was something not quite right and I couldn't place my finger on it.

I walked down the hallway past the closed bedroom door on the right; past the kitchen and bathroom into the large sitting room...he wasn't there. I stopped short and swivelled round looking back towards the bedroom door my heart racing. I told myself not to be stupid; he was probably getting ready or something equally mundane.

"Lucian!" I called out to him thinking that at least if he answers it'll put my mind to rest, but he didn't. I grew nervous and called out again but still no answer. So I walked slowly back down the hall towards his bedroom door, I was attracted to it like a moth to a flame. Perhaps it was the fact that it was the only door in his apartment that was shut; the logical conclusion I arrived to was that he had to be in that room. I stood outside the bedroom door with my hand resting nervously on the door knob and tried to calm my rapidly beating heart.

"Lucian?" I whispered it this time...too afraid of my own voice but still no answer came; so I held my breath and swung the door open with one fluid motion. I didn't really have an expectation for what I was to see...and quite frankly I wish I had thought things through before reacting. Perhaps I should've knocked again or something along those lines.

"Aurora?!" he seemed just as surprised to see me and I didn't blame him. He was standing naked in the middle of his sparse bedroom with a towel clenched in one fist covering his groin area. He looked as if he’d just come out the shower as he still had droplets of water running down his chest. I felt my face growing hot with embarrassment so I quickly turned away, mumbled an apology before leaving the room and hurriedly closed the door behind me.

My face was still burning five minutes later as he joined me in the sitting room. I positioned myself on the edge of his brown leather sofa and sipped on a glass of warm bourbon that I helped myself to from his kitchen. I was still too ashamed to look at him so I continued to stare intently at the amber liquid in my hand.

"So...are you going to tell me what was going through your mind when you decided to burst in on me?" he sounded amused but I didn't dare look at him for fear of blushing again.

"I'm sorry...I kept calling you...and you didn't respond so I assumed something had happened..." as I finished my sentence he sat himself on the coffee table in front of me and leaned in so close that I could almost smell his aftershave.

"Aurora look at me please," he commanded me so softly that it took all my willpower to remind myself not to give in. I knew my weaknesses and being close to him was one of them. Instead I did the next best thing. I swallowed the drink in one go, stood up and walked towards the other end of the room to stand by the window before turning to look at him. I noticed he was shirtless, sitting there in nothing but his jeans, his bronzed skin still gleaming; I quickly looked away feeling the blood rush to my face again.

"What was it you wanted to say Lucian? I don't have all day."

He sighed heavily before standing up slowly, placing his hands in his pockets. He tilted his head slightly and grinned from ear to ear, his grey eyes sparkling with a rare mischievous glint that reminded me of the boy from my youth.

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to scare you…Liliana's pregnant.... I just wanted you to know that I was going to ask her to marry me. Isn't that great?"

He looked at me for reassurance but all I could do was swallow hard as I was still finding it difficult to digest what he had just said. The room started to spin and I felt myself leaning against the open window to steady myself. I just refused to comprehend what he was saying. He couldn't be getting married to her, it just didn't feel right. I would rather he married anyone else but her; and that's when I felt it. A similar feeling to pins and needles running across my chest before intensifying to the point where I was having difficulty breathing. I thought I was going to pass out, the room suddenly felt small and I needed to get out, I needed some air...needed to get away from him.

"Aurora? Are you ok? You’ve gone pale."

I looked at him as if seeing him for the first time; I wanted to memorise everything about him as I knew in my heart that I could never see him again. The pain would be too unbearable. I don't know how I managed it but I said it...all the things he wanted to hear. It was as if my mind had switched off and I was running on autopilot. As I set my empty glass down and walked towards his front door to leave he asked me exactly what I'd been dreading to hear.

"I know it's a little early...but we were hoping once the baby is born you could be its godmother...I know it's a lot of responsibility and if you decide against it we will understand...I will understand."

I simply nodded at him before telling him that I would think about it and let him know. I left his apartment and ambled down the street in a daze not really aware or caring about my destination, I only wanted to put as much distance between us as possible. I found myself stumbling into a small Irish pub filled with the smell of Guinness and stale smoke oddly reminiscent of a horrible cloudy day. I walked slowly to the bar and threw myself heavily onto the only empty stool.