Chapter One - Dawn

I woke up with the strangest feeling of dread. I knew something was wrong straight away but I tried my best to ignore it. I felt that way for the past month, every time my alarm clock rang I'd roll over and feel the sickness in the pit of my stomach, the horrid sensation of a million butterfly wings flapping away mocking me. Usually I'd tell myself that I was being stupid, jump in the shower and prepare myself for another day of perpetual laziness; I have had the privilege of inheriting my mother's fortune and now had the wonderful advantage of procrastinating over my future for years to come. But this sensation was new to me. Looking back on it now I should've realised that it was a bad omen.

On this particular morning it was the incessant ringing of my phone that woke me up, half an hour before my alarm was due to go off. I was still half asleep and it took a while for it to register in my mind that I needed to answer it. So I slowly rolled over, picked it up and pressed the receiver to my ear before I lazily lay on my back again and whispered "Hello?"

"Aurora...it's Lucian."

I felt my heart skip a beat, as it always had whenever I heard his voice. I've loved Lucian from the moment we first met. I was twelve years old when we moved to West Hills, he was the first friend I had made; my mother was surprised as I'd always been a loner, a social outcast, more interested in reading and drawing rather than expanding my social circle. He has been and still is my pillar of strength and the only tie I have to the past, one I've spent my entire 26 years in existence trying to avoid.

"Do you realise what time it is?"

He laughed softly and paused for a while...the dread began to eat away at me now.

"I'm sorry..." he always spoke slowly, almost as if he chose his words deliberately, one of the many things I loved about him. His whole attitude to life has been one of contemplation; almost like he had all the time in the world.

"What is it?" I sat up slowly, something in his voice wasn't quite right.

"It's Liliana...she's...can you come over?"

I felt my heart sink as soon as I heard her name. Liliana has been the object of Lucian's affections almost as long as he has been mine. She didn't love him though; I knew this but never had the heart to tell him. Love is blind after all...he will only see what he wants to.

"Sure I'll be right over." I hung up before he could answer. I didn't think I could listen to him talk about her any longer, not first thing in the morning.

I stood up slowly stretching my arms over my head before emitting a loud yawn. I wondered what could have happened to Liliana that had him so worried. It was very rare for anything to upset Lucian's calm demeanour. I slowly strolled into the bathroom and turned the shower on then walked over to the mirror by the sink to look at my reflection. No new wrinkles today. I grinned feeling pleased with myself. My long black hair looked akin to a birds nest, nothing a good wash couldn't fix I suppose and my brown eyes were bloodshot from my encounter with excessive drinking the night before. I stifled another yawn before stepping beneath the warmth spray of the shower. I stood still for a while pressing my head gently against the wall infront of me and closed my eyes.

I thought back to when I had just returned from my travels, I spent a year on the road with my friends Hyun and Haneul, two of the most mischievous twins I've ever had the pleasure of knowing. The day I returned to West Hills was my 18th birthday and I was full of excitement; only to discover that my mother had committed suicide...or so I was told by the housekeeper. My mother didn't leave anything behind providing an explanation as to what happened. She was found in the bath tub of our large bathroom with deep gashes in her wrists, or so I've read in the official police report. I thankfully never had the misfortune of seeing it for myself.

The next few months for me were spent in drunken stupors, my own attempt at dealing with the abandonment I felt. I would lock myself in the library with a bottle of whiskey, never answering to anyone that would call or visit. After a while Mrs. Hendon the housekeeper began to fear for my life too for I remember hearing her on the phone to Lucian mumbling something or other about my health. At that point the madness mixed with the alcohol had completely consumed me; it was safe to say that I had lost touch with reality. I can only recall remnants of what occurred after that. I remember Lucian banging on the doors ordering me to come out, but as much I wanted to I felt too weak to move. I hadn't been eating in days and my only hydration was found in the form of alcohol; which was plentiful in the drinks cabinet hidden in the free standing globe by my side.

Eventually the shouting ceased and I fell asleep. It was some time afterward that I woke up to find myself in a hospital bed with Lucian fast asleep by my side. It was then that I felt the pain in my heart ease into sadness...and a longing. One that I have been carrying around ever since.

I opened my eyes suddenly and remembered that I had to meet him. He was used to my lateness by now, in fact I can never remember a time when I had turned at the appointed time of any meeting. I smiled to myself as I got out of the shower wrapping a clean warm towel around me. Today was going to be as miserable and morose as ever; I knew that but that feeling of dread had disappeared for now and that to me was enough of a reason to smile.