Crystalline sat quietly gazing out at the ocean in front of her, a letter from her father clasped in her hand. It was the last day of vacation, and she would soon have to leave this place she had come to think of as her sanctuary. Wisps of light Carmel hair blew around her face with the gentle ocean breezes which smelled of the ocean salt as she pulled her knees up to her chest, hugging them to herself. Her over-sized thin cotton jacket was hanging loosely over her body, the frayed edges showing just how much she had worn the jacket throughout the last year. It was a special one, and though it had long ago lost the scent of her father, she kept it close to her heart. 1
The sun was setting over the thin gray line of horizon where the ocean met the clear sky and an array of colors spread itself out across the pallet of sky. A sigh emitted her soft lips and she closed her eyes, letting the wind brush through her hair as if it were a natural comb. Moisture clung to her face as it fell from her eyes unknowingly and she slowly stood up, setting the letter upon the sand, small amounts of sand falling from her body as she walked towards the gentle lapping water. The water brushed over Crystal's feet lightly, sending chills up and down her spine from the sheer, biting cold, but she did not step back like she used to. She continued her steps slow and paced into the ocean until it rose to her waist, not caring that she was wearing jeans or that it was sundown and there was no lifeguard out to make sure she didn't drown. She wasn't the best swimmer, but all of that didn't matter now, all that mattered was that she was alone with the peaceful ocean. 2
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A gulls cry snapped her out of her trance and her storm gray eyes snapped open. For the first time she realized how far out in the water she actually was. The sun had dipped lower, and a threat of darkness was hanging over her head. She shook her head to snap herself further out of her daze and turned around, walking back to the shore before the tides swept her away out into the sea. She didn't return to her original spot, but sat herself in the dark wet sand where the water met land. She closed her eyes, the water lapping at her body and returning back to its original position in a constant chain of reoccurring patterns. The peace of this place was overwhelming, a definite change from things at home. Alcoholic mother, older brother constantly getting into trouble with the law, her father who was her best friend dead and gone, and Tania. 4
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Crystal loved Tania with all her heart, but the little girl was a constant reminder of that night...that terrible night when her innocence was taken from her two years before. She was only 16 years old now and had a two year old daughter who looked so much like the father that it nearly killed her each time she looked at her. Each time she lay eyes on her daughter she was constantly filled with two battling emotions of love and loathing. Love always won, thankfully, but damn she had a stressful life. 6
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The night finally faded away and Crystalline stood up slowly, brushing the wet sand clinging to her off of her body before turning away and starting to walk to the small beach house her father had left to her before he died the year before. He had known that she would need it with Tania in her life then, and she was grateful that he hadn't left it to her mother. She would have only sold it and used the money for more alcohol. She gazed at the old white beach house before bending over to pick up the letter laying on the sandy beach. It needed a lot of work, but with a little love she knew that as soon as she finished school she would have a home, a real home. And she would be able to provide the best for her little girl. She took a few more steps and entered the home, closing the door softly behind her, spending her last night of vacation in her future home. 8
Author notes
England, A Letter, a 16 year old girl, On A beach with an old house 
What did you think? Please comment!
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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Wow.. nice settings and beautiful story, had a tragic beauty to it in the fact that this girl was dealing with something major in her life. Thank you for entering
good luck
-Audri -
That's a very sweet story. Lot's of mixed emotions which always keeps the interest of the reader. You feel sadness because of the loss of her father, anger towards Tania's father and happiness because it's all going to work out for the best. I really enjoyed this, you've stook to all the rules with a 740 word count so I wish you good luck. Take care, Heather x
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I was somewhat surprised by the absence of dialogue. I guess I really am a whore for a bit of talking in a story. Very good description though...I was cold the whole time...swimming alone at the beach in England? Now that is a bit of a stretch...kidding. A very complex piece-- emotionally speaking.
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Wow. So good. Wonderful descriptions, I love it. So much better than mine. *sigh* I love your way with words. You show so much emotion in this. It's amazing. I really can't describe it. Keep it up!
~ShatteredIce~ -
Touching
hmmm....beautiful description and you did a lovely job using the picture and weaving it in as part of the story. your imagery was vivid and i felt as i were right there. the actual story line itself was touching, in my opinion. i hope your muse comes back to you soon, unpacks her bags and plans to stay for awhile and hopefully her vacation won't be too long. good luck in the contest
xo Pessimistic Optimism -
Opps, I meant "emotion that I can't descibe".
Kate
(again)
Too lazy to go correct it... -
Mommy! I think it's wonderful! If this is downhill, then the world isn't ready for the real thing!
If you think this is "downhill", read my latest poem... I've been filled with so much emotion that I can describe, lately, that all I can do is cry and hope that I don't explode before I wake up the next morning.
Anyway, didn't mean to vent on you... I just want you to keep writing!!!
Kate
Thanks for entering my contest and good luck!
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