Inner Ramblings VII

I sort of wish I could read people’s minds.  That would solve a lot of my insecurities right now.  I’ve learned so much about people in this past year.  But that doesn’t mean they haven’t learned a lot about me, too.  Sometimes I wonder if everything is worth it, or if every person on this planet is just living to die.1

That makes me think.2

Does my personality truly offend everyone, as it does according to one of my former friends?  Or is she just pissed because I’m not her antisocial partner in crime anymore?  I think I could go on to bigger and better things, but if you ask the few people who are holding me back, you’d think I had tried to kill their families.  This brings up the divine question of perspective.  Often, my perspective will switch just a tiny bit and suddenly, everything either clicks in or out of place, depending on what I wanted to hear.  Or what one person claims to think of me, when in reality I realize they could just be trashing me behind my back.  This is something I’ve come to terms with lately.  I think I’m figuring out the person I really want to be, but I wonder if I’ll change to accommodate the people around me, and is this normal?  3

Occasionally, I wish I was stupid.  4

The last week of school is next week, and because of a conversation I had earlier, I’m tempted to hang up the towel and not even go to the last week of festivities.  Some people get me and some people don’t.  I just wish I knew who those people are.  Who they were.  Who they could be.  5

I’m done writing for today.  My head doesn’t hurt, but my heart does.6