Racka the Rumbustious
Elementalwolf
Once in early dreamtime, a tribe called the Norganu was camping next to Lanver the volcano. At that moment An Elder of the tribe was teaching and telling a story. “If you are naughty, impolite or bad then you will be exiled and thrown into Lanver. He will then be very pleased to crush you with an extremely heavy boulder,” said the Elder seriously. Everyone was silent.
“Have we done anything wrong?” asked a boy nervously.
“No, but I am warning you for the future,” Came the reply.
“You expect us to believe that,” Laughed a boy called Racka.
“You do not believe? Then you will experience it rude boy!” replied the Elder angrily. “I will ask the other members of the tribe before you are exiled!”
The congregation then departed and went back to their tents or out to explore the land. The Elder went off in a hurry, to the tent where all the elders lived. He came out an hour later looking very miffed. “The other elders don’t agree with me. They said you have to be naughtier before they can exile you,” growled the Elder.
“Ha. I bet they don’t want to do it because they don’t want the secret to get out that it’s only a lie to make children behave!” said Racka. Just at that moment the other elders came out of the tent looking very cross indeed. “WE HEARD THAT!!!” Roared the oncoming elders. “For that you are EXILED!”
The next thing Racka knew was that a club was heading for his head.
After what seemed an age, Racka opened his eyes. He fell back down immediately as a boulder came thundering past.
He was standing on the side of a volcano.
“Oh why did I not believe in the story?” sobbed Racka suddenly. “Why oh why?”
He ducked again as another boulder came flying past, narrowly missing his head.
“Please give me another chance!” He pleaded to no one.
But someone answered. “You can join your tribe again but you have to be good and believe in every story you hear!!!” thundered a voice.
“I will, I will,” wept Racka.” Just give me another chance!”
Suddenly he was back in his tent with the tribal smell in the air. He ran out and immediately apologized to the elders.
He then vowed never to disbelieve again.
MORAL: Rudeness comes before exile.
A contest entry
- Humor Contest by lydubs.
175 points, ended March 28, 2007, 9 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Short Shorts by Delfishie.
175 points, ended April 7, 2007, 15 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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WeeeEEEEEEE
I really liked this story. It's cute, short, the main character has a silly name and everyone behaves like a crazy old man in a british movie.
There were grammar issues, especially with punctuation and comma use, but they weren't too bad and I honestly enjoyed it too much to really pay attention, anyway.
Great job.
Hehehe, Racka. For some reason, that name cracks me up. No reason. Possibly because it's super late. Oy. -
Nice
A nice story and nice moral. Not exactly the funniness I was looking for in my Funny Contest, but still a good story. A great starting idea, like you said, for a bigger, better story. -
i think u were going for like a proverb sort of thing? it sounded like it was written in a rush. not my favorite, but not horrible.
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wolftank
OK! But more description
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