Light filters in through the dusky screen of awakening, that dreaded transition from the comfort of bed time to the uncertainty of another day.1
"Jump!"2
The word is barely comprehensible through the haze of newfound consciousness.3
"Jump!"4
It's coming from outside the window.5
"Jump!"6
Sounds like an army.7
"Jump!"8
The balcony is colder than normal, even though it's July.9
"Jump!"10
There is no ground it seems like. Every spot of earth is occupied by someone, every inch of the ground blocked from view by a mass of human bodies, all pumping their fists, all chanting.11
"Jump!"12
The synchronization is flawless. No one is out of step.13
"Jump!"14
Life had been going well so far. Good, high-paying job, serious romantic relationship with a wonderful person, no emotional trauma to speak of.15
"Jump!"16
They must be crazy. The fall would be fatal.17
"Jump!"18
Maybe that's the idea.19
"Jump!"20
They must be talking to someone else. Except everyone in the world seems to be down there.21
"Jump!"22
Life is fragile.23
"Jump!"24
Life is never sturdy.25
"Jump!"26
Life is a sucking pool of despair.27
"Jump!"28
They're right.29
"Jump!"30
"Jump!"31
"Jump!"32
Cheers flattened the planet in as deafening a roar of triumph as the world has ever known.33
Author notes
Came from a dream i had about the entire world outside your window beggin you to kill yourself.
What did you think? Please comment!
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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Wow, this was very unique, lovely job. Your use of words was terrific.
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wow, it frightens me at first, but then it reminds me of school, and peer presure and of that thing that parents always say,"If everyone else jumped of a brige, would you do it too?" (weird how mother's 'words of wisdom' can pop up unexpectedly in poetry and storys, ugh, it's soooooo wrong!!! lol
-Jessica -
wow this is weird. At first I thought it was going to be one of those "if every child in China jumped at the same time, it would knock the earth out of orbit" type deals, but it's actually peer pressure. Excellent work
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It is spooky - especially the number of people screaming jump - it sounds like an excercise class and in a lot of cases spandex and women trying to make their thighs smaller is the most frightening thing on the planet you know.
But, but, but - the pace in this is great - it challenged my hand eye co-ordination you know - I couldn't make the mouse go fast enough because the jumpness makes it very speedy and it races, like dreams do - dreams are so strange - they scare me very much.
"Life is never sturdy" - genius - should be an album title.
I had a dream like this - I dreamt that the whole world was in a circle in the playground at my primary school when I was a little girl, like they were playing ring-a-roses, and I had magic in my fingers and it was bad - and the evil person said I HAD to kill one person, and I couldn't chose, it made me sick.
Dreams a terrible really.
Good writing Sir
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like kroger on a summers day
Oooh...creepy dream. I've done the whole 'nightmare onto paper' thing before...it's usually very fun because there is no "what happens next?" its all plotted out...making it excessively easy and not always the best writing.
Well, i don't know how hard this was for you to write, but it is definately NOT mediocre writing! I love the concept, but i can't really giv eyou credit for that one. The way it is written creates a fabulous sense of a rising panic, the not-so-casual dismissing of the mobs bloodthirsty mob throwing the reader onto the edge of their seat in a hopeful crisis. Excellent.
Sorry, not the best comment...i'm a little distracted.
~Annieliscious -
hmmm might be best if you avoided eating pizza just before bedtime. Well....I shall tell you what I have often said..It doesnt matter if its the devil or God whispering in your ear. If the voice says KILL....Or JUMP. DONT LISTEN!
I always enjoy your work...but then you know that.
Hugs Zack...
Mary ann -
The ultimate peer group pressure.
Novel way of telling the story,
good work.
B
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