SAD FANCIES FRET MY MIND
a prose poem by
ROBERT DAVIDSON
Last night I was beat up in a fistfight standing outside the local simply because people have trouble tolerating. People cannot live with one another and having lost moorings I attempt to live escapist-fantasy spending life surfing gothic net sites watching TV news getting bad doses of excess reality. The world as I see it is silly-serious offering zany visions of terror and atrocity while smiling politicians make promises and war and holy clerics preach love and jihad. I am left with such slipperiness of meaning and being deprived of real life gives the shivers. Overcome by the fecklessness of everything I stumble fumble in a world stripped of meaning with fantastic fancies of a mind lost amid the dark frets of antidotal faiths. Outside the pub a bus explodes.
A bomb is a bomb is a fiery bomb on sharp edges of fear the world reeling reacts giddily spinning like a spun wheel amid debris of glass breakage and twisted metal as blue police pop up like mushrooms in the night gunning dead the wrong man running towards the station their guns blazing like red brands burning breaking the sharp edges of my brain while the sad world explodes explodes and explodes in a fiery spinning blaze.
Copyright 2006
http://www.robertdavidson.blogsource.com
A contest entry
- NO PREMIES(STORIES) by Christa Steiner.
100 points, ended April 25, 2007, 5 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - beaten up (option contest) by Elvenfairy.
100 points, ended January 26, 2008, 3 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Give Me Your Best Poetry! by HopelesslyInLove.
200 points, ended April 18, 2008, 15 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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Okay, whoa, this had tons of run-on sentences, slow down. You had grammatical errors, and this is not really what I was looking for in my contest anyway. I wouldn't exactly call this poetry, but I won't DQ you, this time. Also, for a few pointers:
Breathe, use periods and commas in sentences.
Some sentences stopped and started again, when they didn't need to, make it all one sentence.
LOL, honestly, I had no idea what this was about, it really confused me, because of all the errors.
Anyway, just keep these in mind and if you edited this, it could be a heck of a whole lot better! You have a good idea, but fix your errrors. Thanks for entering anyway!
*KAT* -
please tell me witch option this falls under in your authors comment box. Thanks for entering my contest
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Nicely, Nicely Done. This is a truly interesting write. Makes you stop and think about what's happening in the world around us.
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This is the second time I have read this but it is still great!!





