MRS PROTHEROE
By Robert Davidson
The Night Your Landlady Came To Your Room
A loose gown in which her flesh swam free. Fascinated. Your eyes resting diffidently, the full white breasts, the shadowed cleft. Your mind searching the unknown. Hesitated. Resisted. Locked within the closed circle of yourself.
Broken into tears Mrs Protheroe moaned your name against your mouth. Saying her old man had deserted the year before. Lonely. You saw silver tears sliding down a sad moonlit face.
She said you were too withdrawn within yourself - You kept to your room, were too much alone, she said. So lost. Lying on your bed, reading Schopenhauer late at night. Yes, you were reading everything, you said, yet could believe in nothing.
She clinging to you with her mouth. Arousing. Inflaming flesh. You losing the will to resist. You would solve the mystery of yourself, you thought, as your bodies took the shapes of passion. You would come out of yourself in this long waited moment.
She searching your boy's body for the lost images of youth, the skin stretching transparently on your ribs; she making a moaning, loving sound while taking the taste of you with her tongue - And you holding tightly the muscles of her plump white thighs as interlocked her body became as one with yours.
When you opened your eyes your room, your books still preserved their apparent shapes, despite long shadows in pools of early morning light. She was as a rock to which we cling, you thought; she was the rock of love on which we all founder, you further thought.
And as you wandered deeper into yourself, no longer lost, you felt you'd slithered down a solid slope, sensible of a dream-time womb in smooth transparent skin - while she lay prone and spent on you. And for a moment you felt as wise as God.
Love? - an equation for two bodies - Or the subtler colloquy of disparate souls?
Copyright 2007
http://www.robertdavidson.blogsource.com
A contest entry
- Short Shorts by Delfishie.
175 points, ended April 7, 2007, 15 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Make me squirm!! (take 2) by zas51zas.
110 points, ended April 26, 2007, 10 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Romance Writers by InMemoryofCharlieJr.
180 points, ended April 22, 2007, 8 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - This Blight, I Call it Boredom... by EtherealButterfly.
175 points, ended May 15, 2007, 7 entries
Honorable mention
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - "Here's Looking at You Kid" by katiefran.
400 points, ended May 9, 2007, 15 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - anything decent less than 600 words. by Anonymous Shadow.
100 points, ended January 24, 2008, 26 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Mini Short Stories by abba12.
700 points, ended March 6, 2008, 36 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Short stories 700 or less by Reaver.
170 points, ended July 22, 2008, 39 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
-
Very well done
Enjoyed the clear picture that was presented, felt like i had read this one before, but couldn't find a comment...oh, well, enjoyed it twice
Thanks for entering! d.
-
jeez. you gotta warn a girl before you go and write something so beautiful. granted its not usual erotica, which is one of the things its listed under, but thats good. it wouildnt been strange in there. great job
-
Your imagery is phenomenal. I could picture all of the events occuring (even though I'm not a guy). It's like every sentence was a poem in itself, so beautifully written.
Thanks for entering my contest and good luck! -
beautiful discription
this had some excellent description in it and i found myself loving it. the sensuality of the piece was well done and not too over the top. nicely done and good luck in my contest! -
Sensual
Steamy without being graphic. A different writing style than I'm used to, but I like it. I can't find anything to critique so I'll just say thank you for the read.
beginning: 4, language: 4, ending: 5, characters: 4.
-
Interesting, not what I thought this was going to be but good job anyway. Thanks for entering and good luck in my contest
-
Hi,
Thanks for entering. Ill give you a full and detailed comment when i judg ethe contest.
Good luck!
zas51zss -
Great great job
This read like poetry, rather than prose, and the erotica was excellently rendered. It wasn't grossly blunt in its descriptions, which totally gives you points since most short erotica is boring, basic descriptions of unadventurous prose.
Great job on this. It was like reading beat poetry. The characters were VERY well-developed and believable. The connection they made through their contact was sweet and affecting.
Wonderful job with this.
But one thing - if you should enter a contest, perhaps you shouldn't put your name in the entry? Since I've read a couple of your other stories, I KNOW this one is an improvement to your previous writing and so that weights my favor in your direction. Perhaps next time you could leave the story anonymous? -
Complete!!
An erotic story that is told in a beautiful way, how unique. My hat is off to you.

beginning: 5, language: 4, plot: 5, ending: 4, dialog: 3, characters: 4.
-
FANTASTIC!
OH.. MY.. GOD! This has got to be one of the best fully descriptive stories I've ever had the pleasure to read. It is so vivid, so lifelike. Absolutely incredible. I am enthralled by your talent!

beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
-
Good
Hey, man, this was GREAT!!! Wow. In such a short story, you managed to write so brilliantly. Great work!!! -
Amazing
This was absolutely beautiful. I loved how you described it all. Nothing was lost in this story it displayed every emotion in some portion.
Absolutely fabulous, great work.

1 - 15 of 15










