Black hole

My life is like a dark hole. I hole that I cannot escape…in my world I am always alone…I begin to trust and then get thrown away like a piece of shit. My world is nothing, lonely and deserted.

The world goes around and I feel that I’m stuck in the same spot. Never allowed to move, never allowed to feel.
The hole that eats me up takes everything away from me. It has become me, become my world. Alone all the time, in a world that no body understands, people all around yet no body to care.

My life is now an act. Everyday trying to convince people that I’m okay, telling them that I am happy and alive, the people, they always believe.

They call themselves friends. How can somebody that no longer belongs in this world have friends, what are friends? Everyday I wonder what they are, but I am yet to find the answer.

I sit and wait. Unsure of what I am waiting for, I try to think about what to think about, thoughts always go back to my past. The past it haunts, everything is a painful memory.

I think about the children I have helped and the ones that I have lost, the teacher who inflicted the pain that will last the rest of my short life. I think of how much I wish I could go back; go back to the time where everything was okay.

This is my world. The world I have to live in. This is my black hole.

Author notes

i stuck at writing stories...hope its okay for a first go...

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

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Comments

1 - 5 of 5

  • simply.me
    April 11, 2007

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    wow a bit darker than what i ususally read, but really good description! i can sort of realate to it sometimes, but mostly i have a good like, thank god...


  • eyeambaldman
    April 10, 2007

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    I agree with Bukkoroshiteyaruzo that this would make excellent poetry. I absolutely love free verse and with a little work this could be very dark as a poem. Perhaps think of it that way and you'll really have something.


  • Vietbabe909
    April 9, 2007

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    interesting...

    this is a good for a beginner. for me, it would be a great poem, but as a story, not quite. it doesnt have much polt but that your life is like a black hole. thank you for entering my contest and good job!

    beginning: 5, language: 1, plot: 1, ending: 5, dialog: 1, characters: 1.


  • Drac
    March 18, 2007

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    Well, I thought it was a very good first go!
    (Very good for any go actually)
    I love the way it's written, and the way you end it... I also feel the content, and can relate to it. Very well done

    beginning: 4, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 3, characters: 5.


  • asthray.heart
    March 16, 2007

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    This was good, the emotion was true and heartfelt through out it all, it flowed and worked out good.
    I liked it very much Liz

    Good job and good luck in the comp.

    Lady Madeline.

1 - 5 of 5