It's now been officially determined that to have opinions, beliefs, and ideas, especially ones that differ from those of the majority, and especially if you're a female, is to have what little actually means something to you, that actually makes sense to you, ridiculed until it's hardly recognizable. Until it means nothing, especially to you, and no longer makes much sense.1
When more time is spent defending it than is spent caring about it or sharing it, you have to question it. When it's even slightly 'just a joke' to you, as well as completely a joke to everyone around you, no longer do you hold it closely. Instead, you begin letting it slowly slip away, and inside, you wish you could just throw it away completely, diminish it, stomp on it, spit on it, light it on fire, and rejoice in what you once cared about turning into ashes to be scattered in the laughing wind.2
Yet when it is ridiculed, especially by those who don't know you at all-and most of whom you certainly don't wish to know- or by those who you care about, even a tad, your immediate reaction is to lash out. In seriousness, but also in a joking, expected manner, as society has instructed you to do, uncaringly, possibly unknowingly (though that's highly unlikely, easily debatable). Life is easier for society, for the majority, if dictated casually, to slowly crush the unexpecting free-thinkers.3
Free-thinkers left to fend for themselves against the ravenous hordes of common-thinkers, the crushers, the majority, even society in general. Clap out of sync and be smacked harshly, given (undiagnosed) whiplash by the glares, the whispers, the odd looks shaded by mascara-covered lashes sometimes, but generally by thick, dark eyebrows.4
The different lines for all the varying issues are severely water-logged, disputable, mildly invisible. They've been erased, redrawn, erased, torn, and tattered. I've questioned them, and am still here, questioning, confused, with no idea what to do, and wanting to lash out, due to habit and pure human nature. Attempting to fight the tears threatening to spill in the middle of a public library, surrounded by people who would pretend to not notice, then tell the whole school. Clutching to my belief, yet willing it to throw itself off a very high cliff because of all its caused me.5
Anger and hurt, especially when covered or ignored, solves nothing, does nothing at all. Lashing out, while sometimes emotionally helpful to a degree, is mostly harmful. Burying opinions, ideas, beliefs, once held dear, due to annoyance, inconvenience (and the expected assholes making you feel down, as well as some who you considered friends doing the same thing) does harm, and good. 6
So, what am I suppose to do? Throw my beliefs away, because others would be happier, life would be easier? Quit writing, bottle everything up even more, and learn to keep my mouth shut, since after all, my writing isn't always politically-correct. What do you recommend? And why should I take your recommendation into consideration, when I don't know if you truly care about what's best for me-not for you?7
I guess, for now, I'll continue loosely holding on to my beliefs, my feminist beliefs in particular. And while they're ridiculed, I'll hold on to them even harder, and hold on to my anger, and not lash out. But if they quit being worth having, I may have to bury my beliefs.8
Author notes
Work in progress. Wrote this during escape time at lunch in my school library today. It's a basis, I want to build on it a lot though, incorporating religion, going more in detail, and being more clear.
Suggestions welcome.
What did you think? Please comment!
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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this is really a great!!!!! very creative, something i've never read before, well ive never read anything like it but you get it its very different and different is good. Actually, i love this, i've read it over again twice now and it just gets better and better! most aren't like that, usually if you read stuff over you find mistakes but not with this that makes it one of the best on the site! great job and seriously keep it up i loved it
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thanks for all the comments, everyone.
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I've reread it, nicely done. I'm glad that you took my comment for what it was instead of getting angry
and it adds credibility to your piece to be without those little typos (and believe me, they happen to us all!)... and if you ever see a mistake in one of my pieces, PLEASE do the same for me and tell me where I've gone wrong. Anyway, I'll shut up for now. ~open eyes~
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Okay you really need to tell me when you update this because this is interesting and i like it so far.... It's bringing up good points about society.... Keep penning hun.
*~CrystalClrBlood~* -
Thanks for the constructive critism. I'm going to go back and rework the piece, taking into consideration everything you said.
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Thanks, Open Eyes, I think I got all the editing done you pointed out, I know there was a lot, I typed this up really quickly. Thanks for the helpful comment.
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I"t's now been officially determined that to have opinions, beliefs, and ideas, especially ones that differ from those of the majority..."
if you in deed have no opinions or beliefs, then why is it you wrote this? you thinking that you have no ideas or beliefs is an idea and belief in itself. something to think about.
none the less, i know exactly what you feel. to be so extremely confused in every aspect of life. not knowing where the hell you are supposed to go or what you are supposed to do in a world so huge. i've thrown around the idea of being completely unopinionated myself a million times in my own head, but i've drawn the conclusion that either way, it doesnt matter in the least. sometimes i can't stop thinking until i run my brain in circles and just end up confused. so i've given up on trying to figure the world out.
sometimes life just seems like a drawn out rutein. like everything is a viciouse cycle of confusion. everything.
i dont know why i feel like i have to write this...its pointless really. maybe i just needed to let that out, one confused person to another.
anywho, great write. it's hard to write something like this that bears your soul, that leaves you completely exposed to the world. and when people do expose themselves, i applaud them. i admire you for writing this for people like me to relate to. great job.
you're not alone.
~sedona~ -
I really liked this piece. I'm sure the completed version will be wonderful (and this version is wonderful too). You ask some very good questions and challange a lot of society, tackling some deep sociological issues. I've made a bunch of comments (to follow). Don't feel that they speak poorly of your piece, cause I really like your piece. I just pointed out all the little things I saw that might beg a second look.
Thanks for sharing your struggles and thoughts.
"is to have what little actually means somethign to you, that actually makes sense to you..." I understand what you are saying, expecialy when looking at the whole sentance. But the wording in the beggining here is a little confusing and I had to reread it to understand what it was saying.
"joke' to you, as well as completely a joke toe veryone" -- the spacing got mixed up at the end (happens to me all the time...and plus, I can't spell to begin with).
"diminish it-stomp on it" -- not sure why you used the dash instead of a comma...
"and rejoice in what you once cared about turning into ashes to be scattered in the laughing wind."-- (this is just personal prefference) I would reword this a bit (making sure not to loose the wonderful imagery). When I see "rejoice in what you once cared about" I get one image (which is obviously contrary to what I've been reading thus far), and that image is abrubtly altered with the completion of the sentance. I love what you're saying, but for me, it's a bit confusing at first... but maybe that has a certain power to it?
" but also ina joking"-- spacing again
"Attempting to fight the tears threatening to spill in the middle of a public library, surrounded by people who would pretend to not notice, then tell the whole school."-- the 'then tell the whole school' part at the end confuses me. Again, I can piece it together and get the message. But the way it is conveyed leaves for some confusioin.
"(and the expected, and some unexpected, complete assholes) does harm, and good. So, what am I suppose to do?" -- the way the asshole reference is constructed is a bit confusing. the expected, and some unexpected, assholes... I get what you're saying. I just think it could be said in a slightly smoother way (if that makes any sense).
I love the "does harm, and good" line. I might consider giving it a little more emphasis by breaking it free of the long line before it, by placing a greater emphasis on the pause between the two, or both. -
This was a great write I really liked it alot and u have really got some things that make alot of since in this it tells us everything about this and it is true that women writers and all that have had been ignored and some even maybe or maybe still today. I really liked this and i really liked everything it said. good write and i will be reading more
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Excellent Way to go!
I can very much relate to this article because befire we made my stepfather break down and go to visit the doctor I couldn't even have my own opinion without him getting in my face like he's going to deck me or without hearing the words fuck you out of him and it got to the point where he jumper on my my ass fot absolutly no reason at all so finally I told my mom that I da enough of this either he goes to the doctor of I'm leaving, so rather than have me moving out on her we both got toether and ganged up on him and convinced him to go after three years of fighting with him great job Yoshi I can really relate to this. -
Okay, please don't hate me for this. I understand what you're saying and I agree, but I found a few problems in the text and in the interest of making it a better piece, please hear me out. In the first paragraph, somethign should be something. In the second paragragh, you say toe when you mean to say to. Third paragraph, ina should be in a. Fourth paragragh, hords should be hordes, and schaded should be shaded. Fifth paragraph, redrwan should be redrawn, its should be it's. Just a few typos, they happen, thought you'd wanna know. Other than that, nice job.
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this was good! i liked it... and to write it at lunch you must of had to get it out. good job
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Women writers have been ignored and made fun of for a very long time. Some gave up and did something else and others stuck to it. I guess since I have experienced some of the above, I must say that I still write because I have been able to convince myself to a large degree that no one else's opinion matters but mine. Even if I could not be published anymore, I would still write and during the time when I was not published I felt freer to be able to put down what I wanted to do. I don't know if this is something that you can use, but it is what kept me writing.
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Well, if you pass it off as a joke it never meant that much to you anyways, but if you truely believe in the opion/cause/idea/etc. then you won't let other people take that from you and their opinion about it won't affect yours.
-paige-
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