I find myself staring up at the star-speckled, black sky during the summer with you, lying on the moist, green grass quietly as we listen to the crickets chirping around us. I want to move closer to you and be in your warm, inviting arms, but I’m paralyzed with nervousness. I can hear your even breathing and I turn to look at you staring at me and smile. Droplets of rain slowly fall from the sky, which quickly turn into a heavy downpour. Laughing, we run for cover under a tree and I suddenly find your gentle kiss capturing me.
Author notes
Was the ending okay?
A contest entry
- Write a story using exactly 100 words! by Jinxgirl.
155 points, ended March 17, 2007, 43 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 22 of 22
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I love the ending!
It was amazingly sweet, simple and catching.
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Very cutesy, I guess, if you're into that sort of stuff. It wasn't much for stun-value, but I liked the simple concept behind it.
- HT -
Very nice...so much said in only 100 words!
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This is good. Yes the ending was good. I like the way you write and this showed that you can write a spectacular piece with such little words. Keep up the fantastic job!
~Blazing Mike~
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Awww, it was cute, short, sweet and too the point. I wish something like that would happen to me! You wrote it well, and I think the ending was fine!
Kudos and happy new year! -
dude....
like it was really cute and sweet but make something big out of it =]
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aww. thats one of the sweetest things ive ever read. it made me go awww. it kinda reminded me of austin and me. once we just stood in the rain, during that hurricane thing at the beginning of they year, hugging.
good jobbbbbbbbb mrsgerardarm.beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5.
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awwwwww
how sweet. -
Awww if only things like that would happen in real life-like to me! A very sweet story, I really liked it.
xoxo
Kelsey -
aw....
the rain, reminds me of my sister carpe diem project. its funny that her name is diem...hhahha...seize the day! whooosha!...anyways...i like it, a bit short thoug. its like i found my love in the rain. not like im complain, hot guys are hot in the rain, the water droplets sliding from there face, there shirts being pastered to there delicious body, like a second skin. to be the one that looked at him. wowwy! wowowowow....a gentlr kiss under a tree, thats what im talking about. niice jobby, nice imagery. i want it to be longer, like the rain surrounds us that our passion opened, we make hot love on the ground, uncaring if anyone can see. you know what i mean. ahaahaha good work!!!
beginning: 5, language: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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wow wow and wow good job i liked this alot good job it was short and sweet good job hopefuly you write more short storys i loved this you have a great way of writing and i love it good job
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Alot was made out of this even though it was short.
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Short, sweet, to the point...and very good. You've said a lot in a very few words.
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I liked the ending, it was very sweet. I liked how you described the rain, falling slowly. Good job. It was beautiful.
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the ending was good. can't wait for more=)
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Pretty.
Thats basically what it was, very pretty.
I'm glad I read it, it made me smile.
It's sweet and short, but it's better short...I think it's the perfect length for it.
Very good job.
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Beautiful - thanks for letting us enjoy it too.
GoNE
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I like reading stories that show those fleeting moments in life. Since we tend to forget those sweet instances in life tha make it all worth whilte in the end^^
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Nice
The short sweet romance stories are always a good read for anyone. I liked this one. Very well done. Keep up good work like this! -
Wow i wish it were raining here.
That was so beautiful -
wow... excellent description and emotion in this, seems like a snapshot of a larger story. perhaps you should expand it
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Beautiful
This is really good. I love your choice of words, and the last line totally works with the story. My only problem here is sentence length: Most of them just feel too damn long. I understand you're kind of restricted by the hundred words, but it just feels a tad awkward. Otherwise, nice work.
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