The Man with the Violin (Part 2)


"Thomas! Thomas!" Mr. Hutchison shook him gently. Thomas opened his eyes and the sun blinded them so he closed them back.

"Do you want your blanket back?" He scrambled up and shook the blanket. He held it out, but
Mr. Hutchison shook his head.

"You need it way more than we do. Keep it. It's your birthday present."

"Thanks, Mr. Hutchison," said Thomas, "I really appreciate it."

"Thomas," asked Mr. Hutchison, "Where in the world did you learn such good manners? I mean, usually street people aren't so polite...Where did you learn them? I should send my kids to wherever you learned them!" He smiled.

"Mr. Lovni was a polite man, and he taught me manners. He was a great example for me. But you can't send your kids to him, cause he passed away. Now I'm on my own..." He looked down at his bare feet, and realized how cold he was standing in the snow. He shivered.

Nathan walked outside. "Dad, Mom said that breakfast is ready."

"Coming in just a minute!" Mr. Hutchison answered. He looked at Thomas. "Wait right here." So Thomas laid down the blanket and sat down on it. He wore a ragged white t-shirt under his suspenders. He felt embarrassed speaking to a rich violinist wearing a black suit and striped red tie. Mr. Hutchison came out of the house a moment later with a cut apple in his hand.

"Here you go. These are good for you." He handed him a glass of water too. Thomas sipped the water slowly although he felt like chugging it. He wanted to keep his reputation about his good manners. He ate the apple slowly too and when he finished Mr. Hutchison took the glass back inside, and appeared at the door. He motioned for Thomas to come into the house quietly. Thomas picked up his blanket and when he got to the door, Mr. Hutchison went into the first door on the right, which happened to be a bathroom, and gently pulled Thomas in after him. When he had closed the door he whispered to Thomas to explain.

"Thomas, I want you to meet my wife, but she doesn't like dirty people in her house. I will help you take a shower, and I got some of Nathan's clothes that he never wears, so that she won't recognize them, for you to wear. Then we'll comb your hair and you'll be all ready."

"Wow," thought Thomas, "I feel like I'm going to meet a queen! I've only taken a shower several times at Mr. Lovni's house in my life, and I've combed my hair just as much. And these are really the only clothes I've ever owned!

Not over yet! Come back to read Part 3!

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Comments


  • Playjazz66
    September 4, 2007

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    Nice contuation. I know you have a idea where this is going, or maybe actually end. There does need to be a bit more action or movement to speed things up a bit.

    "(')cause he passed away"

    "I will---shower. I got (have)" Suggest you switch the next two phrases of the sentence so it will read, "for you to wear. He never wears them so she won't recognize them."

    Usually when a person is thinking the thoughts are not put inside quotes. The quotations marks are for words spoken aloud...to others or when someone is talking to themselves.

    One other problem: How about making the sections a bit longer? I just get started and you stop. LOL
    Actually, try doubling the size of each chapter. This might make it a bit harder for you but it will make things easier to follow. An interesting storyline and I want to keep it going.

    Jim


  • Saej silver member
    September 2, 2007

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    awww... this is such a sweet story. You grammar is good, and your paragraphs flow well. I really like this story, but I shaln't read part three until you post it on our groups reading list.

    Great job!