Five P.M.1
“How do you expect me to live without you?” Suzanne’s face was contorted and tear stained as she knelt in front of Mark begging him not to leave. She thought there was another woman, but he denied it fervently over the past weeks. As she groveled, she thought nothing of how it must look to him to see her begging at his feet. Her arms wrapped suddenly around his legs as she held tightly. Mark was unable to move without hurting her physically, and he would never do that. 2
Constant accusations thrown through the air like hail stones, and she called him every half hour to make sure she knew he wasn’t with someone else. In meetings, he phone would vibrate, and he would become distracted by it. When she called him over and over without an answer she showed up at his office in a tirade screaming that she wanted to know who he was with. The door to the meeting room flew open, and her reddened face suddenly became ashen when she saw that he was sitting between two men with pen in hand. Mark’s supervisor looked toward him as if to tell him to take care of it immediately and never allow it to happen again.3
Mark rose and excused himself from the meeting as he took Suzanne to his office locking the door behind him and pulling the blinds. “Suzi, you have to stop this. You’re destroying both of us, and you’re about to destroy my career. I can’t allow this to go on. Now, go home, and I’ll be there right after work. I won’t be late.” She nodded and left with her head bowed as if in shame, and Mark went quickly and quietly back to his meeting. 4
Right at 5:00 p.m. Mark left the office. Having lived together for nearly five years, he was shocked to see this side of her. It had only started a few months ago, and he thought it sweet at first. Somehow this beautiful, loving woman had changed into a vicious, wicked woman he didn’t know any more. 5
He was no more than two blocks from home when he heard the emergency vehicles all around and neighbors in front of his house. His heart pounded to see Suzanne lying on the ground, both wrists and her throat cut, knife in her hand. He pushed the police officer out of his way as he ran over to her lifting her lifeless body in his arms and wondering why. 6
He told the officer that she had been insanely jealous lately, but he didn’t think this would happen. Not one person would ever believe that she would have received many phone calls from another woman during the day. He picked up the phone, dialed a number, and said, “Hey, she did it. No, just lay low, and we’ll be together soon. Oh, did I thank you yet? You did well. Yes, I love you, too.”7
Mark completed his call, settled back on the sofa with his feet on the coffee table and his hands clasped behind his head. A smile crossed his face.8
Author notes
523 words, Fiction
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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Frightening story. I like creepy stories. Keep it up, m'friend!
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Haha, nice.
The writing was pretty decent, but I liked the story as a whole. What a cat that guy is, jeez. Bad, bad man. Well, some people have it in them. Good job though, got some interest out of me. -
Very suspenseful! I definetly didn't expect that to happen! Well, I mean I could have guessed she would kill herself, but I never would have thought that the husband did it on purpose! Very well written, and I hope to read more from you soon!
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Well, I certainly did not expect the ending but I loved it anyway.
Nicely done.
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You did set up such a intruging story here that I was enthralled to read from start to finish and was entrapped in your world. I really admired the way it was written. I could really put myself into the story... The vibes, The characters, The compulsions I guess you could call them it was all so written beautifully <3 Mark needs to be shot
Well done
Thanks for writing this
Loved it
Write more.
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I Like it, first i'm sort of disgusted with her, being obsessive and controlling then when i found out about him (I had to re-read this story a couple of times to make sure i got it right), i absolutley hate him and can't believe i was ever disgusted with her, so infact am disgusted with myself. Amazing writing, good luck with more.
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Beautifully written! Interesting plot. The story provokes strong feelings in the reader. I found myself utterly disgusted at the inhumanity of Mark.
One edit:
In meetings, he [it should be his] phone would vibrate, and he would become distracted by it.
Good work! -
OH!!!!!!!!!!! MY goodness
Such a sad story, I wasnt expecting such a shocking twist at the end.. men! Argh! Very well written.. Cant wait to see more stories. -
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Thanks, Sweetie. I guess I just have such a devious mind.
hehehe
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