As I sat in the middle of the field, I let the wind blow my hair violently around my tear-stained face. I took out a mini-portrait of you, and as I stared at your beatiful face, a brand-new tear rolled down my face. "I'm sorry." I choked on tears. "I didn't mean to hurt you. Things just get so-well-complicated." I threw your portrait on the ground.
I stood up, threw out my arms, and let the wind blow against me. As I turned to leave, I glanced back at you, and then left. I walked through the forest and came to a cliff. As I looked at the pitch-black pit, I whispered, "I'm sorry it had to come to this." So I gulped, closed my eyes, and I fell.
A contest entry
- This is a little random... by Taylor Renee.
130 points, ended April 8, 2007, 97 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Lover Betrayed by Reaver.
170 points, ended August 29, 2008, 15 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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This seemed to be the middle or ending of something bigger. Very well written, but left open many questions...but, it's yours, so
well written..thanks for entering and good luck!
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I think this is a good start to a story. Could even be a fantasy type story in the end. Of course, it could also just stand alone. There was a point of confusion for me. When the character stands on the cliff, it didn't make sense to me that it would be a pitch black pit. Perhaps a bit of detail in the surrounding like day or night, cloudy or sunny, something that would give the view from the cliff a reason to be pitch black.
Glad I stopped by to read it though.
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