As I walked away from my past life, I left my soul behind in the ashes.
I noticed that I lacked both sympathy and empathy.
Those were not the two feelings I missed the most though, I think that had to be love and happiness.
I didn't remember them much though, so I had no longing to go back to how things were before.
I remembered being miserable and in pain... And now those feelings were gone too.
If I had been able to enjoy, I think I would have enjoyed this state.
I used to be the highest ranking officer of the Lords army.
Seraphim they called me. The six-winged angel. Now I have no name, and no wings.
As far as the other angels are conserned, I am no more.
But in my darkest hour, when I was about to dissolve, I was embraced.
An embracing I had not asked for, but one that I had longed for in my dreams.
My dreams... The last place where my feelings remained.
When I awoke, I was met by only Apathy.
I was sitting on a cliff, my eyes were closed. It was early in the morning. Still dark.
That's when I felt two hands around my body.
Not just a metaphorical, but also a physical embrace.
I opened my eyes. Emotionless I had guessed that it was either the Devil, or an old angelic friend.
The creature I gazed upon was neither.
It was a young girl. A human girl.
Not even ten years of age, she had the courage to come comfort a complete stranger.
A weird feeling filled my entire body. She had awoken the feeling I recognized as admiration.
I admired her courage, bravery and empathy.
A single tear left my eye, as I realized she had brought back more of my feelings.
With that single hug, she made me feel admiration, happiness, warmth and affection.
I noticed that all the feelings she made me feel, were feelings I thought of as good feelings.
I smiled at the girl, as she took a few steps closer to the edge of the cliff.
There grew a single flower. A white rose. A flower that had no reason or basic to grow there.
The girl was dressed only in white, and I could easily compare her to the rose. She was here for no obvious reason, and had no prerequisite for being here.
Her golden hair reached her shoulders, and touched the ground as she bent down to pick up the rose.
I was still sitting on the same spot where she had hugged me. A couple of feet away from her and the rose.
She turned to me and smiled. The rose was in her hand.
As she walked towards me with the rose, she suddenly stopped.
She shrieked, and dropped the rose.
A drop of blood fell from her finger, and onto the rose, coloring one of it's petals red.
Another drop, this time a tear, also fell onto the rose. The girl was crying.
I jumped up from where I was sitting.
I ran to the girl, and hugged her. At the same time, I picked up the rose.
The blood on the rose spread, and half the rose was now colored red.
A single drop, suddenly mixed with the tear, now forming new drops.
Pitte-patte onto the ground.
As I hugged the girl, I noticed that she had awoken yet another set of feelings in me.
I felt sympathy, empathy and appreciation.
I appreciated that the girl was there, teaching me my emotions.
Then I kissed her forehead and told her that everything was going to be fine.
She smiled at me. It was the first time I had talked to her.
Thank you, she said, and kept smiling.
Behind the girl, the sun was rising.
I tried to give her the rose, but she said it was for me.
I smiled at her, and thanked her.
In reality, I did not just thank her for the rose, but for everything she had done.
As the sun got brighter, the girl got more and more blurry.
At first, I was sure it was the work of the sun, shining bright in my eyes.
But then, she started dissolving, slowly fading away, into fog.
And then, she was gone.
As she disappeared, I was filled with yet another two feelings.
Sadness and loneliness.
And suddenly, all went black. My eyes were forced shut.
Then I opened them again, using all my power.
I was lying on a mattress of feathers.
All my wings were still intact.
I was still in the kingdom of the deity.
It had all been a dream.
A beautiful dream though, I thought, as I stood up and walked away.
A contest entry
- Quick Quickies: Fantasy by tallblondie.
210 points, ended July 13, 2008, 17 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Things with Wings by hotwaxtears.
350 points, ended February 23, 11 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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Tear-Inducing
So wonderfully written. Everything just flowed so smoothly. I really loved this. Definitely a finalist.
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Nice...
I liked this story a lot, it was very unique and interesting. Not your cliche angel story. The descriptions of the Angel's surroundings were very vivid, and Apathy in the form of a little girl was both mysterious and intriguing.
It was almost as if the angel had fallen, and Apathy had put a mirror to his face, exposing what he'd become. That woke him up in a way--That's my perception of this piece.
Only one error that I am aware of: Somewhere in the story you wrote "Conserned" instead of "Concerned".
Otherwise, it was a really captivating story.
Great write
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Ohhhhhhhh I loved it!!! It was so...soo...well good but...so...emotional? And...I dunno. I just loved it.
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I guess evil people do dream of being good. I think this almost felt like a poem. Maybe it was the way it was spaced. I find it interesting that in this story and the last, you give descriptions of no sympathy, no empathy; are those the feelings you find to be the most human?
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Hehe, those feelings are some of the most human feelings, yes
I guess there are more also, but I like these two
Thanks for commenting
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your stories are always mysterious and interesting. this story was no different.
others said that they were dissappointed in the ending but i thought it went nicely with the story.
i haven't read anything of yours for a while so i was amazed by the quality of your writing...wow...the way you write is amazing. it makes you feel like you're in the story...great job! -
Awww that's really sweet! Odd contrast to your other piece, but I thought it was great
xoxo
Kelsey
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Good.
Usually I love your works, and I enjoyed this one as well. Like the other person said, though, the ending was a small let-down, but this was still a total success.
Keep it up, can't wait to read more from you.
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i really liked it, though the ending was kinda cliche...
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wow your a great writter...amazing how you can just come up with these idea and put them onto paper in just a few minutes (i think)
just great...almost to prefect. its unbeliveable how you can write this...just great..
im shocked at how descripive is this....well done!!
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:D let me dream of things like these...
Just a few hours ago, you said you were writing an angel story.. and now, I'm reading it Story generator, you've done it again ^_^ I love angels 
I love how you made Apathy a noun because sometimes, it could just get so overwhelming AND change someone else - as if it's taking over a person.
I love your idea of fallen angels.. and then losing their emotions along with their wings it is a new concept, something entirely different. And I love how he remembers certain things THROUGH a human (I mean.. I always believed angels were perfect.. I mean, they could FLY! 
) THe girl teaching him something MORE than the emotions he orginally had is so real - we often believe we are complete, and then someone comes along and adds another piece of our life
The comparison between the girl and the rose was BEAUTIFUL... I mean.. we humans ARE like flowers... beautiful.. with a limited life.. we wilt when we're not nurtured *claps*
Oh, a few things
"If I had been able to, I think I would have enjoyed this state." seems to be missing a word? -> If I had been to [remember], I think I would have enjoyed this state.
"Seraphim the called me." - the -> they
Anyway.. I hope I can applaude this more than 3 times..
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