HA! I made him cry! I made him cry, just like he made me cry. Now he knows what it feels like. He knows what it feels like to lose someone you love. And the best part of it all, he knows that this was all his fault. None of this would have happened if he hadn't cheated on me with that slut!1
I couldn't believe it then, and I still can't believe it now. I couldn't believe what I saw. How could he be kissing her?! And worst of all, how could he think I would forgive him?!2
Whenever I was upset, I loved to drive. I loved to drive fast on this back, curvy road. He knew I loved to do this. He usually just let me be, but he tried to keep up tonight, but I just drove faster. I didn't even want to think about him.3
Then as I speed around a corner, I could feel myself lose control, not only of my car, but of everything in my life.4
Maybe it was because I wasn't paying attention, or maybe it was because of the ice on the road. I will never know, maybe, deep down inside, I really wanted for this to happen. All I know is that, for some reason, my car went flying. It was flying through the air, I felt free. Then, all of a sudden, it stopped, and I felt a sharp pain go piercing through my body, and then everything went black.5
The next thing I knew, I was watching, observing from the outside. There were people everywhere, I saw my parents, my friends, and then I saw him. He was upset, he was crying. The next thing I saw, was fire-fighters pulling something from a tree.6
I walked closer. Then suddenly I realized, it was me! But my body looked so disfigured. But if I was here, then how could I be there? Then it hit me, everyone was crying, and it was over me, I was dead. That's how I made him cry. Now I must decide if I'm going to move on, or should i stay, stay and make him remember this, everyday, for the rest of his life.7
Author notes
I'm not quite sure where this story came from, but was just one of those things where I satrted writing and didn't stop until it ended. I hope you like it.
What did you think? Please comment!
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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An unexpected ending to this one. At first I thought it merely a story about a lost love but then the ending tied back to the start. Very good write. Very imaginative.
Thanks for reading and commenting on my work.
Regards,
Leo Long -
Wow...this is really good. I like it a lot, I don't really like the fact that she would stay with him so he would remember it everyday and she would make him feel like he killed her, which he did, and it was wrong to cheat but you know. It turned out he loved her and he was crying and and ya....good write though real good.
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i like this too...its really interesting, though short, and revengeful...wonder if she'll decide to move on or haunt him...ah well, guess that cant really be answered or it would ruin the mystery to the story...well, byez!
~karinn -random person-
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Not too bad; it's always something that makes you wonder, death I mean.
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A unique perspective and an interesting write. You bounced back and forth bewteen tenses which hurt it a little, and there are some grammatical errors, but the description wasn't bad and the idea was a good one so I give you an average 3.
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thank you, and your right, there probably are more exciting worlds to visit, but wouldn't it be fun to forever make somebody's life a living hell?
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You could have an eternity of revenge, but probably in your new state there are more exciting worlds to visit and realities to explore. Good graphic writing and good descriptions... unique perspective.
B
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