TRUE Embarassing Stories rated 1-5

Embarassing Story 5 : WALKING IN ON GRANDPA PEEING

   I was visiting my grandparents in Pennsylvania. (wha-hoo >.<) My grandpa is HUGE! He weighs over 300 pounds! Well anywho, I was REALLY bored, so I decided to kick a door (dont ask me why). So I selected the bathroom door, which wasnt closed all the way, and kicked really hard. The door flung open, revealing my grandpa, standing there, peeing. He screamed, I screamed, then ran. Yeah, I'll NEVER do that again! *Scarred for life*

Embarassing Story 4 (these ones are about friends): WHEN JEWS ARE INNOCENT, ITS A SIGN

   So there's this kinda plump lady named Mrs. Clarke. She's a good friend of our family, along with her two daughters. But this woman, she's a little wacked. She's leaving the hospital, after a visit with a friend, and passes two Esinic Jews. As she leaves, the huge 'WELCOME' sign hanging infront of the door, fell on top of her head! She screams: "OH MY GOD! IVE BEEN MUGGED, IVE BEEN MUGGED! esinic jews, I THOUGHT THEY WERE NICE PEOPLE!!! HELP!!!" Then she went out cold. Poor lady didnt know it was a sign.

Embarassing Story 3 MENTAL NOVICANE

   I have a friend named Becky, Mrs. Clarke's younger daughter. She's in college now. She went and got her wisdom teeth removed (the poor girl) and had to have her mom drive. Mrs. Clarke pulled into a parking lot of a BIG grocery store.

"Now stay here Becky, I'll be right back," she told her. Becky was high off of the laughing gas, and lookerd really funny with all the cotton balls in her mouth. Drool and blood were oozing out her foamy mouth (gross >.<) After ten minutes, Becky decides she doesnt want to stay in the car, so she goes into the grocery store (keep in mind how funny she looks). An employee came up to her cautiously.

"Can I help you....?"

"Uim wooken bore mhps flarf" she said, not realizing she didn't make any sense.

"Pardon?"

"Mphs flarf! um wooken bore mphs flarf!"

"Um, here, write it down," the guy said. She wrote: I'm looking for Mrs. Clarke!

"OH!" he said, laughing. Then she pointing at the name and said thickly, "shwe's mi moam!"

Then mrs. Clarke came running towards them. She explained that Becky had had her wisdom teeth out. But Becky didnt know why people were looking at her so curiously. Later she learned that there was a mental institution right next the the grocery store.

Embarassing Story 2 DRUNK ON A MISSION TRIP

   Same girl, only now she on a mission trip in Africa. They were staying with a hard-headed African woman named Afrii. Afrii asked them, "Do you like apple cider with dinner?"

Becky wanted to let the whole world know how much she LOVED apple cider.

"OH! I LOVE apple cider! I drink it hot, I drink it cold, I drink it in the summer, in the winter...." And went on about how much she loved it, ignoring her mission-mates gestures. So at dinner, they were having REALLY spicy food, and of course, apple cider. So after her first bite, Becky takes a drink. Then her mind went numb when she realized that it was achoholic. In other places than America, cider means achlohal. But since the food was so spicy, she had to keep drinking, and the Afrii kept refilling her every sip. Soon Becky was drunk, and ironically, it was her first time, AND she was on a mission trip! Her friends had to subdue her before she started telling black jokes :-P

Embarassing Story 1 (African words revised) OH GREAT BELTICA!

Becky was saying a prayer with the african orphanage. She wanted to sound cool, so she threw in some african words she thought she knew. She kept saying beltica, which she though meant God. So she went to her shaporone after and said, "Yeah, I think I did real well. I used beltica instead of God and all," but she stopped as the man burst out laughing. "What?"

"You mean Betlica?"

"No, Beltica..."

"Um, Beltica means diaherria....."

Author notes

all these stories are TRUE!

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 7 of 7

  • Vietbabe909
    April 24, 2007
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    interesting...

    this is not a one story, more like moments. thanks for entering in my contest

  • Kitzwa
    April 22, 2007

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    These were really funny stories, but I agree that there are a lot of spelling/grammar errors. Also, I think that you could get a whole story out of each of these. They really are funny enough. They deserve their own story.

  • ivegotyournumber
    April 9, 2007
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    I love this

    This is really funny Thanks for making me laugh


  • lydubs
    March 28, 2007

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    WOWNESS

    Those were some funny embarassing stories! Wow, I would hate to be Becky! Especially in number one! I guess that's why you saved it for last! I also like three, but number five... why would you kick open a bathroom door when you know what could be on the other side? Not a pretty sight, I'm sure it was'nt. But sometimes I guess you don't think when you're bored. I know I don't in class.


  • beezy92
    March 28, 2007

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    lol

    very funny. ic oudl tell some stories too.

    a few things that i didn't liek stood out to me:
    1) why''d you say the lady was hardheaded/ mre explanation needed this sounds like a funs tory behind it (=

    2) black jokes--not funny. lol actually they are sometimes

    3) spelling and grammar and punctuation. work on it

    other than that i loved it and you made me smile (= finalists lists

  • MDavid
    March 22, 2007

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    As they say, this hurts me more than it is going to hurt you. I loved your entry, it was FUNNY but you REALLY violated rule 1, spelling and grammar etc.

    I am only being as tough on you as I am on myself. If you want people to enjoy your writing you can't have them constanly stumbling over your spelling and sentence structure. If this were cleaned up and worked on, it would have been gold. Keep writing, look forward to seeing more.

  • DustyOldHalo
    March 12, 2007

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    Embarassing Story 5 : WALKING IN ON GRANDPA PEEING
    This got me smiling. It’s always funny when someone is caught doing bodily functions and both of you screaming is great.


    Embarassing Story 3 MENTAL NOVICANE
    I’ve been there and done that with the cotton balls. My mother can tell you what a riot I was the rest of that day….she tells the story often at family get togethers. But your’s is so much better with the mental institution right next door

    Embarassing Story 2 DRUNK ON A MISSION TRIP
    AND she was on a mission trip! her friends had to subdue her before she started telling black jokes :-P


    okay now this is just hysterical. Funny stuff. And r/l is always so much fun!


    Embarassing Story 1(African words revised) OH GREAT BELTICA!
    This one reminds me of my childhood. We had a missionary come to the reservation that I grew up on. She gathered the group of kindergarteners and taught us ‘Old McDonald Had A Farm’ Keep in mind we have a word, pronounced eeeee-lie-low which means ‘leave now’ so everytime she came to e i e i o, we’d head for the exist and she’d have to stop and go get us again. We thought it good fun too.

    beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.

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