She lay in her hospital bed feeling sorry for her pointless un-lived life. She knows her death will be soon and she has no hope left in her soul. Her boyfriend visits her every day, setting by her side, always encouraging and sweet. He refuses to believe her cancer will take her life soon; he speaks of marriage and children. Their life together will be long and loving, full of wonderment and adventures he says. She allows her mind to believe - if only for an hour or so, all the beauty in his words. 1
She has become dependent on his visits to keep her alive and feeling. Anything or anyone would have been a blessing to her, but her trophy was the boyfriend who has true ever-lasting love for his woman. He was sent straight from Heaven by God to give her last days on earth, meaning and light. He is more then just a hero to her, he is an Angel. He could have walked away when learning of her grave disease. He could have gone on to another life with a different face. But he stays. 2
She watches out her hospital room window, waiting to catch a glimpse of him as he draws near. Her heart races with anticipation of what he may say to her today. Will he be witty today or more on the serious side? What will he be wearing and which cologne will he have on? Does he really truly love me or does he just pity me? Will he bring me more flowers that smell of fields of beautiful wildflowers? She feels her love growing stronger each time he is by her side and from every dream she dreams of him.3
As she is watching out her window she sees him, he has a huge bouquet of wildflowers in his arms. His face looks sad as he walks with his head hung low. She thinks something must be wrong; he always has a smile on his face but not today. As he enters her room she looks into his teary eyes and asks “what’s wrong my love”? He shakes his head, places the flowers on the night stand and pulls up a chair next to her bed. He begins to weep; she puts her arms around his neck and kisses his forehead. 4
He speaks with a quivering voice “my father died last night” and begins crying worse. She gets to the edge of her bed and hugs him snugly, never wanting to let go. She caresses his hair and begins crying with him. She is thinking to herself “how dear God could you let this happen to one of your Angels”? His cries turn into sobs and then he begins telling her what happened. My dad has been sick for a long time now, he had cancer, and I didn’t want to believe it would really take his life. I still can’t believe it he says!5
He looks into her eyes and says “you are leaving me too aren’t you?” She replies “yes, yes I am, but know what?” He shakes his head no. She says “you are my Angel, you were given to me by God Himself and I love you with all that I am or ever was.” He smiles. She says “I know deep in my soul that you and I will have a chance at life together, someday, somehow. God will comfort you in your darkest hours and deepest sorrows, never forget that!” She then begins to feel faint. He calls for a nurse.6
The nurse checks out her vitals and asks the young man to leave the room for a few minutes. He did as she suggested. He saw more nurses and a few doctors entering her room. Then he hears on the intercom system “code blue, code blue”. And even more staff comes rushing to the room. He falls to his knees with crushing pains in his chest and begins silently praying. He feels a tap on his shoulder; he turns, looks up and sees his father standing there to help him to the other side. He had died and is now free from all sorrow and pain.7
He tells his father he won’t leave without his true love. Two Angels appear and all four of them float to her bedside where all the doctors and nurses are trying to revive her back to life. Her spirit leaves her body and they entwine one another as they disappear into the other side of the veil. They will be together forever now, she was right he was more then just a hero to her. He was her Angel!8
~
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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You have a very smooth narration. Somehow I feel the story is a bit one dimensional because the plot isn't too exciting. Maybe it is the emotions that the sick girl is feeling that you are trying to convey. Overall, I feel that this story is not resolved well or the way it is resolved, that they will be together, is too cheesy?
Anyways I thought the story reminds me of A Walk to Remember. Your story is overall touching and it reflects the dependency people have on others.
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Thank you very much nilufer
Edited on Aug 25, 8:30 because ''. -
from the heart
Hi 5thDove. I found you at last. (I'm new in this all and had to look for you in the system.)
Your story is a "happy tragedy". Nice that the ones who can't live without each other, die together. On the other hand, time is a fiction, therefore your story has a tremendous point. Not time, but events bring and keep us together. An Ottoman writer once said:"Life is a breath". -
amazing
Beautiful, it made my eyes water a bit. -
Thank you very, very much
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that was really good... great job with this piece... and you did exactly what i said... you made me think... please continue to write and good luck in this contest... once more i say great job
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i dont evern have the right words to tell you how good this story is,man i really like it
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CONGRADULATIONS!!!
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Interesting piece of work. Congratulations on the trophy!
Your Cerulean Dreamer,
Michele -
It was really sad,but at the same time it gives you hope for the life after death! I hope we can all be a big happy family in the heavens when we all pass over!!! Good luck in the contest!
Tammy33
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Deep and Heartfelt
That was rather profound. I think I might even be perhaps a bit confused by it even after re-reading parts of it because I may not completely comprehend such depth. I dunno. But in anycase, it was a powerful write and I could imagine the words. -
some delectable lines written on a beautiful backdrop..good luck in the contest...freda
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Interesting, very interesting. Great use of present tense in writing. A sweet story with a good twist at the end
Thank you for entering this
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excellent
That is a great story. It had a great twist with the guy dying. I really like these types of stories. They always lift my spirit. You did a great job on it. Queen
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