"Voon - dare - shoon" Chaotic Life

The furthest I've ever been from home. In my mind there should've been 'AMERICA' printed across the land I was about to see, like in all the maps I've seen. This was the last place I wanted to travel to. It wasn't even on the list. Texas was most certainly at the bottom. Conservatives, my opposites, swarmed there as if they were bees, ready to kill anyone who offended them. Perhaps I'll be the new quiet student? What good do cowboys do in my life anyway? The flight continued for what seemed like days.

Upon arriving, I met my host family. Again, everything I didn't want. No brothers or sisters to call my own in this awful country I am in; just old host parents. Highly Christian ones at that. Where I come from, most people don't have religion. It's simply, nothing to us. Especially to me.

"You'll be going to church with me every Sunday", my host mom said to me some days after letting me settle in. I screamed inside my head. What else could go wrong? I was already far away from everyone I've ever cared about. New friends can't compare. Home sickness swelled inside of me. My black rimmed glasses reflected my blue-green eyes that were starting to have a coat of water.

School was not what it was in my land, in Germany. Such a beautiful place. I soon realized not everyone was a 'cowboy', but most were very conservative like I had imagined. Close-minded people who hide behind their religion, their God. I chose not to offend people. In doing so, I could tell my timidness was irritating to those who were not easily offended. I find myself saying the same things over and over again. How annoying I must be! Everyday, "Hello!" and then like clockwork, "How are you?" Sure, it seems polite, but everyday? Sometimes if I see someone more than once a day, I repeat the process without noticing. I also see myself changing. I'm trying my best to fit in, which isn't me at all. I was born to stand out! In Germany, I frequently attended protests. I am 100% liberal and no American is going to change that about me at least and I refuse to accept your faith. Sure, I'll nod and agree, but it will pass through me like oxygen.

My curly, dirty blond hair made me stand out more than I would've liked, but it was who I am.

"Hi Henry!" A tall girl appeared. Definitely not a cowgirl as they would say here. I met her at the beginning of the year. Her glasses, not as profound as mine, but her eyes were almost the same color. She wasn't as tall as me, but she was as thin and slender. Short brown hair often covered part of her face as if she was trying to hide from the world.

"Hello." I replied. "How are you?" I gave her the usual daily hug.
"I'm okay." She gave me a friendly smile. "And you?"
"Good." How often I wanted to reply, "Gut". My German slipped a few times, but not as much as I expected. Beth often grew happier when she heard me speaking. She would always tell me that my accent made her smile. I admit, my accent is pretty good. Would that make me anymore arrogant than the next person here? Of course not.

Before long, I grew more popular. I gained more friends, some good some bad. I'm not the person to mention it to them though. Especially not to their faces. I'd rather just sit here, listening to my music calmly. The Scrubs Soundtrack has gotten me through some tough moments. It might as well have been composed for me alone.

Despite my burning hatred for this place when I arrived and despite my hard nights of crying myself to sleep from being so home sick, I've grown to accept my place here. I've made some good friends. I don't know how long they will last or even if I'll ever see them again, but I'd rather live in the moment than not live at all. Everyday I'm filled with nostalgia. And everyday I'm also filled with the overwhelming sense that I can belong anywhere I choose to. People giggle at my pronunciation, I giggle at their ignorance. I've seen more things in my life than they can ever begin to imagine. They read about the Berlin Wall, I've seen it. I feel almost sorry for them. Almost.

My story does not end here, my days in this country are numbered, yes, but my memories are far from over.