Nobody's Story

This is No One's diary. A detailed journal1

of the borderlines encountered in the double2

twelve cycle of a boy named No One. Now No One,3

or Nobody (as his friends liked to call him)4

was a gypsy traveler to the most extreme sense5

of that stereotype to say the least. In both the6

mental, and physical path of current earth.7

He felt that he was cursed. Forced to never8

comprehend the true meaning of matter,9

and why it chose to occupy.10

(or matter for that matter.)11

Always made to stare at the things that no one12

else could see or hear, fear, or smell,13

and never feel. Like UFOs, Santa Claus,14

and the Abominable Snowman. 15

When he was quite young he even claims to have16

been raped repeatedly and fondled by the17

occasional poltergeist, and/or loopy succubus.18

In fact Nothing, No One's mother, even19

claims Immaculate Conception when speaking of20

or referring to the birth of her first born son.21

It is of course a widely known fact that in most22

cases dealing with this phenomenon it usually ends23

up being the fault of some horny sex-crazed 24

spirit or inorganic being gone completely batty.25

After all could anyone truly survive the act of26

uninvited intercourse with God? (Also known as27

he Demigurga) We all on certain levels claim28

to have been fucked by God at some point in time29

within our wretchedly short and wasted lives.30

I am going to assume that the actual physical31

action involved in being truly fucked by God32

would more than likely be unsurvivable.33

Nobody's mother is pleasantly suited with34

and quite appropriately entitled Nothing.35

Yes, that's her name, and no I am not making36

it up. Nothing, of course, as we are all too aware,37

is a powerful feminine entity that dwells upon38

and within the fifth sphere of the ten that were39

many before now, because now they are few.40

The fifth sphere is three and two divided by41

its own negative reciprocal at the expense of42

Everything. Who was, and still is always43

unfortunately caught napping and completely44

off guard. Totally unaware of the fact that45

during its long and wasteful intervals of46

slumber it was, and is still being,47

thoroughly violated and taken48

advantage of by Nothing,49

and her malevolent power plays.50

I am referring to Everything in a51

sexless manner because Everything is sexless.52

You know? Completely hermaphroditic.53

On the other hand, should I say sexier?54

Better yet how about perfectly androgynous?55

Now Everything, which was and is (everything)56

divided by Nothing times negative 3.1457

Colored three dimensionally within our58

appropriate perception spectrum.59

(which include all of our current sense awareness,60

and the help secretly and subconsciously of those61

unevolved senses still to come).62

Take that entire magical equation, and put it in63

the form of spoken word magic after some good sex64

on Central American mushrooms, or a spaghetti65

western on LSD, and you will have Something.66

Also known as the Demigurga, White Knuckle Phillip,67

Mr. Invisible, Mrs. Did You Hear That, and Uncle Tom.68

"The Man Who Can Sink Your Fucking EGO",69

or God rather if you will. That is,70

if you consider yourself a Christian,71

or an uppity Israelite as you well may be and72

already know enough about to properly represent.73

Those secret names, that is, no offense. I am74

leaving out the nudity and ritual components for75

now just in case you might be tempted to partake76

in this sacred formulaic ritual without hearing77

the rest of the story first.78

Remember,79

Nobody's story? 80

Please don't get those lynchy eyes with me.  81

I am merely one of the many narrators of this82

tale. Just be reassured temporarily in knowing83

that Nobody, (No One) disagreed one hundred and84

ten percent with this equation feeling both85

disdain and distrust about the whole lot of it.86

Well, maybe a hundred and nine percent. However,87

when he told me this tale his words carried a88

true and sullen sigh. His facial gestures89

proclaimed his feelings one at a time,90

fact after fact, and lie after lie merging91

together seamlessly. He stated that no lie could92

ever fully cover the brightest truth. Moreover,93

I was tempted to believe him, which I do.94

Believe that is. Don't you?95

Nobody's father was rightfully Someone.96

Now Someone, was a bit of a show off.97

"A variety sort", if you will.98

He expressed and reflected a jaundiced image99

of warmth. The humans refer to him with true love100

as "their sun". His presence is accompanied by 101

energy transformations and solar wind echoes.102

He ignores Nobody in such a way that's just too103

complicated to explain verbally. So I'm just going104

to have to make a vague and lucid promise now,105

saying, or "rather implying", that we will speak106

about this particular relationship of No Ones'107

a bit more analytically later.108

Someone would much rather deal strictly109

with the color green (Naturally, of course,110

through the process of photosynthesis) Than111

have to pay attention to his many children.112

After all in his mind there was, and still is, no113

difference between a stranger's child and his own.114

Everything in his life was and is viewed equally.115

That is where the giving and receiving of that116

need called social attention, or blind praise117

(as I would prefer to call it) turned118

retrospection. Somewhere in between119

chloroplast and his Mother's river's120

breast-nipple-cradle humanity began.121

Someone reveals this illuminating sickness122

to Everything daily, and everything always123

regardless. This phenomenon happens every day124

at each first half of a twenty-four hour day,125

sixty minute hour, sixty second minute cycle,126

that is eight and three forever.127

The three are Nothing, Someone,128

and Everything, a true trinity indeed.129

Every day when Nothing's attention begins130

to turn onto other things and off of Someone,131

is when Someone's best friend Everyone,132

decides to intervene. Everyone chooses to133

reach for a little more of everything,134

but gets Nothing (Appropriate, wouldn't you say?).135

Therefore, it is truly Everyone136

who we should be concerned about. Since he 137

is obviously sick and unable to make a proper138

decision lately. Wouldn't you agree? I mean139

honestly, who in their right mind would ever140

want to join up with this deranged soap141

opera scandel of universal proportions142

(Willingly anyway). That's just insane and143

desperate for attention lack-luster-less behavior144

for the weak and over celebrated.145

What? Are you getting confused already?146

Let me clarify things for you once again this147

is No One's story. His friends like to call148

him Nobody. His mother's name is Nothing.149

(She is sleeping with some bull dike butcher150

from San Francisco named Anyone.) His father151

is Someone, and Everything, is everything still152

(I hope). Oh, and Everyone is his father's best153

friend and lover (not to mention also secretly154

sleeping with Anyone). Anyone is No One's155

music manager, but she doesn't fit into this156

story until later so, never mind that.157

Then again maybe we should be asking,158

"Who isn't sleeping with Nothing,159

and why is she sleeping with Everyone?"160

Who is supposed to be Someone's best friend.161

And why doesn't Anyone just come the fuck162

out of the closet and start waving her hands163

around for Christ sake if she cares so much164

for Nothing?165

Liars must make good coffee.166

She has always been known to turn an167

interested observer's sugar soaked eye to168

the attention of alert and ready the pistil.169

When stamen flirts with pistil that's to say.170

Her stamen. "From micro organisms to171

meteorology, we mate to die with life forever".172

That's one of Nothing's more famous quotes.173

Nobody, after all, only commented about174

his current feelings and dealings in175

life with what he referred to as176

"The ethereal fluidity within177

a supposed solid reality".178

Something, was always there spiritually.179

Well at least halfway present during180

Nobody's outbursts of tainted commentaries,181

rants, and indecipherable lectures.  182

Something, would laugh and tease Nobody183

afterwards claiming that all which had184

been said by him were just pointlessly185

silly vortex notions. Moreover,186

and regrettably, he was right.187

Just on the wrong side of the vacuum.188

But the right side of Uranus!189

No One, or should I say Nobody,190

currently avoided Nothing at all costs191

and intention. Knowing full well the192

dangers involved with her presence and193

structures of thinking. Which were both extremely194

perverse not to mention morbid, wretched,195

and vile to say the least.196

I am speaking of course about the way in which197

she thinks. Unfortunately since Nothing198

is the physical representation of the 'F' and199

the 'E' that comes before the male, she naturally200

harnesses a unique and timeless ability to distort201

and manipulate the truth. On the other hand,202

should I say manipplelate? Excuse me, I apologize.203

That's just my odd way of being funny.204

I have never held much sympathy for an over205

explained Oedipus complex.206

At least narratively speaking that is.207

Apparently Nobody, had come originally208

from an island continent that unfortunately209

met with a most untimely demise underneath the210

shiny cold cobalt blue frigid fingers of the211

gnarled white capped Atlantic. His parents and212

childhood all but vague in contrast and213

comparison to his current life situations214

(still the memories held him strongly connected215

to his past). One can only erase these filthy216

memories through the simple and ancient process217

(if one sees fit in attempting to apply218

Its usefulness) of recapitulation through219

hallucinogenic plant use, mixed part ritual,220

part sense memory. Anyhow, in the end it all221

spelled trouble as far as I'm concerned.222

His girlfriend Anyway, was always begging223

and pleading with No One, "To just give it up",224

and to quit living life in the past.225

Unfortunately, since No One had become so226

used to wallowing in his own misery and227

undermining the sheer thought of change was228

even more frightening than just pining along.229

What if he was meant for bigger230

and better things?231

Secret things.232

And special things.233

The kinds of things that make mothers get234

all dolled up and sell shoes on the corner235

and cotton candy flavored underwear under the236

counter and on the down-low. While daddy's at237

the bowling ally putting the moves on238

anything that breathes. Sister Christian is239

just begging for a dose of tube sock ala-mode240

with her "Black Angus chili summer snack"241

(if you know what I mean).242

I don't know what the fuck that has to do with243

Anything, but bear with me anyway.244

Speaking of Anyway, how have you been lately?245

I bet you thought that I was going to ignore you246

entirely huh? You know I love you more than that!247

Do you remember that time you and I ate six hits248

of acid each and made a bonfire-fire at your foster249

parent's farm in Butterfield, Mn.? I watched you250

burn your identity then sit nude and humbled in one251

of those retro lounge-chairs from the early 70s. 252

You tucked your penis between your legs,253

and renamed yourself in the name our most254

inspiring and immortal pornographic Uncle255

Sam. What a trip. You were a God that day,256

and I fell in love with your ability to forget257

and forgive 'them' so easily.258

To not let 'it' control your ego. 259

You introduced me to a chick down the260

street in a farmhouse who happened to be a261

childhood friend of yours and an occasional fuck.262

Angie, was the youngest of nine children.263

At some earlier point in time264

I remember you saying that you, and her older265

brother (by two years) Andy,266

had been best friends.267

He died one day drunk at ten am.268

Against a brick wall.269

Sliding along the winter loose pavement270

upon his skidding and laid down motorcycle.271

Listening to Radio Head when it still272

wasn't cool too.273

You were always so vivid. Such a sweet274

addition to the human race in general.275

A true-blue-blood forgotten by none other276

than Everything, and Nothing, and Something.277

However, never by me! Never by me! Even when278

I huddled-swollen kneed and penniless against279

the cinder block brig pillow. While you were in280

the cell next to me pumping out the American281

anthem for two days straight with your head282

to the wall. Bleeding, you wept and spoke283

Spanish fluently as if you could have done284

it the entire time. Snickering (hyena like),285

you would ask the Admiral for matches286

and razor blades.287

They made us sleep with no pillows,288

or blankets, upon a mattress-less bunk frame.289

We ate dressing-less salads with plastic spoons.290

So, we couldn't poke out our eyes (I guess).291

Fuck them for not getting292

the joke. Right? They called us the twins and293

we smoked Kool cigarettes in those crisp294

January evenings rotting in wait to freeze295

outside for "Smoke break #2".296

Snuggled up against the Delaware River.297

We are serving time. We are timeless servants.298

This is the land of the lost with talking Slee-stacks.299

I love you Tommy.300

Thank you. Be well.301

We made it.  Nowhere, but everywhere!302

I have nothing. I need nothing. I feel nothing.303

We are we! Violet! Violent!304

Revolutionaries of the invisible fiasco.305

I get it now! Look at me! Fuckers!306

I get it now.307

Look how I bend fuckers!308

Yes... I get it now...309

Yes... I love you now.310

Androgynous, and sexless311

In this beautiful slack jawed stupor.312

I love you! For being my friend,313

and remembering the orphans314

I love you because I'm so far gone,315

Everything just twirls in pretty circles316

anyway, until I vomit or sleep.317

Tell me again what we were fighting for?318

If it just was not us against the idea319

of who we thought we were?320

God, and how the sun has321

grown smaller.322

God and how I sleep more323

Dreaming of forts and carnivals.324

Dreaming of me without me.325