Iridescent wings flash and flutter
Surprising colors splash near and far
Stops, the beat of it's wings gain speed
Hovering, steady above a mirrored pond.
It rockets off
Leaving us breathlessly searching.
Around the shore we run.
“Have you seen it?” we ask
“No” came our reply
“Over there” we scream
Streaking off again.
From the shore it skims
Off to the other side.
Dodging a hungry fish
Ripples in the pond
Fading hue disappears out of sight.
Gasping for breath
We watch and wait.
Wait and watch.
“Hey did you see that?” we ask
“It’s a grasshopper!” we exclaim
Off we go again.
Giggles heard in the distance
Echoing as we hop after a bug
Ain’t summer grand?
Author notes
Remember when?
There's no metaphors in here, so if you have to remove this entry that's cool. But I just loved this one and wanted to share it.
In a list
A contest entry
- 150 Words or Less by werner1221.
121 points, ended July 22, 2007, 17 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - F. Series - Round I: Nature Poems by Asfand.
300 points, ended August 22, 2007, 9 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 19 of 19
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A poem, that's very different for you. I like it very much. There's no need to go back to the drawing board on this one and throw it into the waste paper basket. I remember doing the same thing when I was a kid. I was always exploring the backyard to collect caterpillars and other small creatures.
Hope you win Brooke
Julie
beginning: 4, language: 4, plot: 4, ending: 5, dialog: 3, characters: 5.
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Fun write,
This totally reminds me of doing the same thing as a kid, right down to the yelling back and forth.
We had woods and a small pond at the end of the street and would always go out exploring. Squirrels and grasshoppers were our favorite.
Good imagery as well.
Great job and good luck in the contest!
Greg
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I use to love summer when I was a child. I remember chasing butterflies and finding catapillars, etc...that's why I wrote this. I want my children to do things like this with their friends.
Thanks for the comment.
Brooke
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Very nicely done. Good imagery too. Nice to step out of the flowers and forests. Liked it alot.
The 'stops' in the first few lines realy seems odd, it sort of disrupted the flow. Always good to sloooowly read through to spot flow.
Again, for a pre-write, right up into the thing we look for. Awesome! Good and luck and thnx for entering our contest. -
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Hmmmm....I wanted to show that the dragonfly stopped and I just couldn't think of any other way. I'll see what I can come up with. Thanks for pointing that out.
And thanks for the comment. I don't usually write poems, but I do try.
~*Brooke*~
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u write poems the way different then me. (not a bad thing) for i write poems really weird and never rely bout nature like this. thx for entering.
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It's not letting me give you more stars, but when it does I'll bump it up.
As to poems, I read way to many depressing and dark ones that I try to, when I do write poems, to write sometimes uplifting and fun. I love nature, being a hedge witch, and try to focus on that sometimes. I hope you liked it though 
Thanks for commenting.
Brooke
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Awesome vocab here, and the imagery is totally incredible. Here I never really went to ponds much but I do love lakes though. Very well done and good luck!
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Thanks for reading this. I'm not really a poetry kinda person but I try sometimes.
I'm glad you liked it.
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Ewwwwww!!!! I hate grasshoppers!!!!!!!! I hate them!!!! They are grosssssss!!!! Nasty little jumping bugs!!!!! I love ponds though...and those pretty little biting dragonflies....I love ponds...but I never want to walk in one...because of snakes...and my parents always told me when I was little that the fish would nibble my toes before eating them....yea, so fish in ponds kinda scare me. Nice job on this ^.^
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I'm sorry that you don't like grasshoppers. They were one of the funnest things to catch where I grew up. And I never put my feet in the ponds for the same fear.
Again thanks for reading my poems and commenting.
~*Brooke*~
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Aww.. Brooke.. I wish we had a pond here I remember that my mom and dad would take my siblings and I to our uncle's place and there was this large pond.. with all sorts of fish and BEAUTIFUL insects (nor roaches x.x) like butterflies and dragonflies... Yes, I remember when those days were alive... *keeps them in her memories*
Thanks so much for sharing this and making me remember those delightful things
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Thanks for reading and for commenting. Sorry it took me so long to get back. Busy, busy.
I love ponds and dragonflies and grasshoppers. I loved chasing them as a child. I'm just sad that my kids can't do this in this day and age.
Thanks for reading and for commenting.
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excellent
I really liked this poem people spend too much time writting poems about death or the meaning of life and have written something that captures the innocent happiness and beauty of chasing insects on a summer daw. Wonerful and easily the best poem I have read on this site
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Awwwwwwwwwww thanks. Your very sweet. I love dragonflies. I remember running around free and my heart aches for my children for they will never get to know that sense of freedom and adventure with any innocence.
~*Brooke*~
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I love the word "iridescent" it's one of my most favorite words.
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Me too. Thanks for reading this.
~*Brooke*~
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Aaaah (sighs happily), wonderful! And, yes summer is grand! Which makes waiting for it all the more unbearable!!!
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I love autumn presonally but I was watching a dragonfly last summer when I wrote this. Thanks for the read.
~*Brooke*~
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