Smile

Smile.

That single thought came to my mind as I tried to relax; and instantly I had. The rage that had consumed me just moments ago dissipated to nothing, what had once been tense anger became blurred hilarity- for me- for an instant.

The rage still burned his brain, filling its every cavity with blinding smoke. His eyes didn’t even see me anymore, always focused just over my shoulder as he moved in to attack again. He hesitated when my defense fell, but only for a moment.

Arms raised in a welcome embrace as my eyes tried to lock onto his I tried to make him hear me. “I’m sorry. I love you.”

The words can’t penetrate. Not now. Now the fire crackles in his ears deafening him. Sparks fly from his eyes to mine, blinding him, trying to ignite the fire within me. I can still see the tears, though, stillborn in his wild eyes.

Thoughts of water wash through my head, dampening the kindling, killing the last embers. They keep me steady in the attacks to come, steady as the water pumping through my veins, trickling to the surface.

“I love you.”

I say it again.

“I’m sorry.”

I move in for a hug, but am clawed. Not enough. I started this fire and now I must be burned. Tears begin to course down my cheeks. “Why?”

There isn’t really an answer, not any I didn’t already know, but it calms him to see me cry. The tears dampen his rage; he has defeated the evil now. He’s the hero. He made the bad-guy cry.

I can be his sister again. I can cheer him up and be his sidekick.

He can cry, wash out all the ashes and be happy again.

We can blow bubbles in my bathroom whenever we’re sad and blow all of our troubles away…