Climbing Higher

The darkness and depth of pain that punctuated her life started at a very young age.  The beatings and abuse would be carried like an overstuffed backpack for most of her adult life. No one ever knows how to release these memories of pain and disappointment until they have come full circle with their life. It is coming full circle that also is the ending of that life in all but the most unique of lives. For this lifetime, it was her turn to wake to the love and beauty of all that surrounded her dispite what to anyone looking in from the outside would see as a suffering and cruelty beyond words. 1

The beatings often came without notice except for the announcement that a switch was to be picked out for the deed. The switch had better be thin and wispy so as to sting severly with each swat and to leave not only a welt but also draw blood. She knew from past experiences that picking the wrong switch would only prolong the beating. The beatings were bad enough but along with them came the cries of Why, Why, Why? Why, what.? If she did not know what the beating was for, how could she tell her accuser why she had anything? 2

After the beating, the threats of another beating would be offered if she did not quit crying . The heaving of the sobs were kept silient and only noticeable by the shaking of her shoulders. The fear of each day became paramount and it is this growing and insidious fear that would follow and reside within and would mark for life her body in crippling and disabling pain and illnesses. 3

The cycle that was set by these early experiences was for her to always seek ways to be loved and to make everyone like her and to be happy. To this end, she would do almost anything and endur almost any situation to make everyone love her. The knowledge that she was intitled to self-love and happiness within her being would come only after a journey into the blackest hole of Hell. The demons that would plague each corner of her world would be carried in her backpack moving with this child of the world no matter where she moved. 4

She moved from town to town running from the fear and the demons that haunted her waking moments and dreams. Each time she would start afresh, hoping that happiness and love would find her. Each move and restart became more and more cumbersome. She collected more and more fear and demons and the heaviness weighed on her back and shoulders until she could no longer stand up. 5

It is the suffering that begins a path to appeasement and enlightenment. The suffering, however, is not to be glorified or longed for so that enlightenment can be attained. Her suffering led her down many paths and with each step down each path there was an awakening. The awakening cannot be suddenly thrust upon one that has suffered for the entirety of her life. This causes one to lose contact with the only reality that has been known all of the life. 6

Yes, the weight of her world had brought her to her knees. She was on her knees praying and praying for relief and for love and for happiness and for safety. She prayed and waited for someone or something to take her out of her misery. It would be many years before she would discover that she had the power within herself to transcend to peace and blissfulness. The path to peace and love and happiness began with a single breath and a single thought and a connection to the All. 7

It is the Law of Attraction that brings fear or love into one's life. Fear begets fear and love begets love. She learned that one cannot be in a state of love and in a state of fear at the same time. The best way to overcome fear is to not let fear find you. If you can say that you are not afraid at this very moment, then fear is not with you. It was this discovery that brought the most peace into her life. She learned to stay within each moment of each day and by doing this the past could not catch her and the future held no worries . 8

The connection to the All comes from the center of one's being. It is the core star of all who are on earth and from this energy source each of us are connected to one another. She awakened to the knowledge that all that we see and do not like or have fear of is a part of us. All that we see and love and want to be a part of is also within us. She learned to love herself as a small child and to be gentle and kind and nonjudging of this child. As this love grew, forgiveness was given and this forgiveness was radiated from her to all that surrounded her. 9

It was from a very dark and deep hole she had fallen into and climbed out of many times. She had climbed the highest high and found her true self and happiness, peace and bliss within herself. She let her light shine for all those climbing out of their dark and deep holes She had learned just as Job did; it is not the suffering  but the forgiveness that brings unconditional love, joy, peace and happiness.   Those of us that are Christain have dwelt so long on his suffering that we missed the whole point of his life.  He forgave and he transcended through the pain and became one with God.  10

As she practiced the forgiveness, the pain left, the weights of fear, resentment,hatred, self-loathing, and self judgement dissolved.  She learned to love that part of her that caused the fear and pain  even though these were manifested and delivered by another  she forgave herself and in doing so she forgave her abuser.  She indeed would transcend to a higher plane bringing her ever closer to no longer being in need of time or space. 11

We each agree to the life's journey that we will travel when we are born.  We have many paths to take and choices to make.  The final journey of the soul is to learn to forgive no matter what the abuse.  It is this forgiveness that leads to our awakening to the Laws of the Universe that brings us bountiful supplies of all that we would ever need or want in love, joy, happiness, peace, posperity and eternal life. 12

My journey has oft times been a hell on earth but I chose how I would react and created my  own environment.  Would I change the beatings, the sexual abuse, the psychological abuse, the years of pain, and myriad of excrutiating symptoms of fibromyalgia and chronic fatique?  No, I would not nor would I want to repeat them.  But for these things and those that delivered them, I would have never been led to seek a higher plane and to awaken to my connection with the Universe, all the good it has to offer, and the protection by God through all his guides and angels.  13

We must all learn to move from a fear base reaction to a love base reaction.  When we react with love, only positive things can come our way but we can choose to accept the positive or not.  Always seek the path of love and you will always find that rarest of pearls, beautiful and perfect within your inner self and forever connected to the All. 14