Walk along side a night walker

About two years ago Siminy Tarcee's parents died in a huge avalanche in their home town of White Fur that was set hostilely in Alaska's Slick mountains.

After his parents died. Siminy was relocated to a group home in New York City where he sat, ate and slept on the dingy, pee stained floor in the kitchen. The owners of the group home were constantly being investigated by Child Protective Services, but every time the case worker came to the group home all the adolescents were being tutored. C.P.S would have removed the adolescents and arrested Mrs. Porky Corpulent if they had seen them at night when they were sleeping.

Siminy would spend most of his time riding the 41 east subway to it's end in Manhattan. The subway train was old and rusting. the paint was falling off it's side and half the lights were burnt out. The state of New York didn't see much sense in fixing the 41 because all the people that used it were bums and homeless people on there way to pass out in the abandoned houses of lower west Manhattan.

June 14, 1997

Today I was riding the subway and for some reason all but 42 passengers rushed off frantically at 42 and 31st street. Shortly after those frantic, homeless souls had rushed off of the subway train; the power to the subway was shut off and the 42 of us that had stayed on became trapped as a violet colored cloud fumigated the subway train. Remaining conscious was not an option.

When I woke up darkness seemed to follow me as if I was it's commander. As I looked around I noticed that someone had pried open the subway car door. When I walked out of the subway train I noticed that two unfortunate souls had wandered out into the sunlight.

However I welcomed this discovery because now I knew that whatever the chemicals did to us made it impossible for us to walk out into the sunlight. But before I could announce my theory a young woman and her daughter pushed past me; I watched in horror as the two bodies spontaneously combusted and were nothing more than two piles of ash caught in the wind.

I was relieved to find that after I announced my discovery no one else had dared to ventured into the light, but I noticed that only 34 out of the 42 of us had survived the transformation, the sudden mutation, that the chemicals had brought to us. Our eyes each glowed a different color and allowed us to see in the dark. Our hair varied more than any shade of black among the African-American race, each with its glow in the dark neon color. My hair was a deep and dark neon green and was the same color as my eyes.

I also noticed that the power was back on, but it could not shine through the darkness that I created and carried with me. This was comforting to me because it meant that I was the protector, the very life force of this newly mutated civilization. These people were my followers, for they would die if I was not here to create the darkness in which we would now live and thrive.

Since they needed me and I needed them we were now a family among mutation. I shall now rise up to defend my people as Night Rink and they shall be my night walkers.

There wasn't any food in this subway line and the food in the vending machines was long over due for a trip to the garbage can. So every month at midnight I would venture to the docks with my people and we would take enough food to survive the month. This food was mostly fruit from tropical islands and fish.

One day about six months after we had started to take the food, the packers that would load up the crates on the dock filed a complaint that someone was stealing their produce.

Nine months after our new outlook on life began our home, subway 41 east was condemned by the government and awarded to us as a payment for the mistake of a Gregory Yikes. It turned out that Gregory had disobeyed a direct order to leave the power on to New York city.

Instead he decided to turn off the power unknowingly trapping us in the subway car. Gregory was charged with the indirect murder of 8 people, the people that did not survive the mutation, and involuntary manslaughter of the senator of New York that was on our subway, the first man that had ventured out into the sunlight,that was identified by his cell phone.

Since Gregory died in jail about two years ago, most people have forgotten about us. To you day walkers we are just a big hairy fish tale.

As of this very moment every day we are constantly trying to protect ourselves against silly teenagers, trying to prove to their friends that we exist, and unknowingly dragging us out to our doom into the sunlight.

So in subway 41 east we live and die. It is both our home and our graveyard, and this mutation is both our blessing and our curse. Forever as long as we shall live we are the ones that haunt the night.

Author notes

had to edit to finish and to spell check edited 3 times

This is an excerpt from my story titled 41 East posting pending.

In a list

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    : Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have 0. (?) (Line numbers)
    Ratings:

Comments

1 - 13 of 13

  • FRIENDSfanatic
    June 19, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    this is kind of cool. But it doesn't really fit into the options in my contest. It wasnt a very descriptive story either, it just sort of told what happened in very simple terms

  • Kitzwa
    June 1, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I've already read this story, but I had no problem reading it again. It's a fairly easy read. I would still have to suggest more detail. Also, I don't know if it comes up in another chapter or sequal, but the group home part at the beginning doesn't seem to fit here at all. Otherwise, great story, very original.


  • Radiance
    May 22, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    It was rather confusing... the scene changed quickly, from the "pee stained" group home to the subway. The description of the mutated people was good.

    This isn't QUITE the kind of fantasy I was looking for, but all the same, thank you for entering my contest.


  • SageSyren Greeters member
    May 22, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I was confused at the beginning and didn't realize the MC was the one in the group home until later. But this was very well done.
    Thanks for entering and good luck in the contest.
    ~*Brooke*~


  • Oblivion Kitty God silver member
    May 22, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I've read the stories relating to this that you've posted, but I don't recall this one. It was nicely written, if short. Keep it up, though, and good luck in the contest.


  • sodancewithsoda silver member
    May 22, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I enjoyed the creativity you presented us in this story - there are a lot of speculations and "myths" and stories surrounding a couple of mysterious beings.. I like how you made this cross between fantasy and scifi. At first, the title made me think of vampires (like Blade, aka the Day walker ) but I am glad this presented a different world

    Thank you so much for sharing this with us
    GOod luck with the contest

  • Kitzwa
    March 20, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    I also would suggest more detail to this scene. It's a pretty good idea, but it's can get pretty confusing at times.


  • LittleAnn
    March 8, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is a tiny bit confusing but very cool! Maybe you could really include some more details, as someone already suggested... if you like!
    I like the idea behing the story...

    Ah, I read your comment and the beginning again, sothe first part is a kind of prologue? Now it makes sense to me!

    Keep on writing!
    Annie


    • DemApples
      March 8, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      i started 41 East on here if you like you can read that it is the story that this is an excerpt from.


  • darkpaintedreams
    March 7, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Thanks for entering my contest! Your story was pretty good, I think it would be even better with more details and slowing down some, it sounded a bit rushed. Anyways good job, and good luck.


  • Jennywinnie
    March 6, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I liked "pee stained floor in the kitchen" it really bring it to life- the atmosphere I mean. Carefully with the slang in the beginning. Examples:

    "Well, after his parents died" you could cut the well and "Anyways Siminy..." you could cut the Anyways.

    You might even consider starting with "Today I was riding the subway..." I think that would help start the story off on a better foot. Now I'm really interested. Great imagination! This is great. Yeah, I think it would make alot more sense that way because this part has a totally different tone, and is much much better! Good Luck in the Competition


  • Token Massacre silver member
    March 5, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    there is a good start here with much possibilities. You start giving details then just cut yourself off. it's a good read but you seem to skip from scene to scene. what happens at night? how do they immediately know they can't go out into the light? why was this "Night rink" character chosen what happened to Siminy Tarcee? first you start off in 3rd person then switch to 1st. so that gets a bit confusing.
    As I said it's a good start.With some edits, it will make things a little clearer. When you make some edits let me know, I'll take another look. Good luck and thanks for entering.

    • DemApples
      March 5, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      siminy becomes Night rink it's like since they are no longer human they don't want to be named like humans
      i can add more detail if you like

1 - 13 of 13