(Ok, this is a story me and my sister created. I will put her writing in italics.)
Sweat dropped down his brow as he turned the lock. -Click click- One more left to go. Jerek seized an intake of air as the last click ensued. "Bingo," he muttered as the safe opened, "Now what have we here?" Many I.O.U's were placed inside. "What the f---. I was told there were valuables in here. I'm going to have to murder Camilla for her faulty informations." He threw the I.O.U's back into the safe.
Camilla walked through the marked streets eying the foods and clothing. There were many interesting things among the shops. Behind her were two shadows that moved with her, never moving unless she did. Neither spoke a word to her. They were her silent shadows. She stopped at a booth and smiled down at the shiny red apples. 'Yum' She thought. She looked back and saw that two sets of curious eyes were on the tasty treats as well. She bought three apples and tossed one to each shadow. The gratefully munched on the while she took her time eating the sweet fruit. "Where is he?" She asked herself. Her brother was supposed to meet her at the market but had yet to show. She was worried about the water demon. How much longer would she have to wait?
The anger rose as the distance between him and the town decreased. What he would do to her if she were here right now. He bit his scrawny hand maliciously then let it go. A sliver of flesh was missing. He rolled it around in his mouth grinning, how he loved the tasted of fresh blood with its somewhat salty but more metal-icy taste. Why was he grinning? He slapped himself, he was supposed to be angry! The anger began to rise immediately. How dare he slap himself! If this continued he would have to resort to last times tactics...he wouldn't want to have to revert to that.
"Digressing again, eh?" a female voice called to him. "Eh? What the bloody 'ell are you doing here? I thought you were in Tebirva." He ran his mauled hand thorough his dark ruffled hair as he turned to face his guest. "'Too dangerous' or thats what the Cap'n said. Anyways, i'm on my was to town, gots me some sparklin yils t'spend." She flashed him a smiled, a tooth was missing, making him wince. He scratched himself. "Am headed that way myself. Min if I join you?"
Camilla sat down on the beach with her shadows, eyes watching the waves. She watched carefully for her brother, scanning the ocean. Suddenly a strange form came from beneath the water. "Javer!" She squealed as he came onto the land. His red eyes met with his sister and her shadows. "Waiting for me?" He questioned. "Aiy!" She laughed. she eyed his bluish skin and sighed. She longed for the silvery skin he had. It was so pretty. she turned to look at her shadows and looked them over. They were beautiful too. So was she. Mace had blue eyes and brown skin. He was taller than his slave sister, but was short for his age. He had brownish blond hair that fell into his eyes. Jen had long red hair that reached her waist. Her eyes were a deep crimson. She was of the water demons as well. Her skin was just as blue and silver as Javer's was.
Camilla was a blue-eyed blond. She was also a demon but not of the water tribe. She had no clue where she was from.
Javer handed Camilla something. It was a necklace made from valuable shells he had brought from the underwater city. They glowed with color. She loved shells. She loved anything that sparkled. The shells were blue in color with shades of green. He put the necklace around the girls neck and nodded in approval. Javer would have to leave soon, she knew. He had to return to his market place. "I made you something," he said, eyeing her clothes. She was wearing dark earthy colors that made her look poor and hopeless. The only thing that said she was wealthy was her slaves. Only wealthy people had slaves. She knew what he had made her. He made her the only thing he could made: Clothes.
Their journey to twon was a long one, or so it seemed. He had to listen to Ananke's annoying chattering, the one thing he hated above all else. When would it end? He glanced over at her and was once again mesmerized by her outer beauty, soft olive-coloed skin that glowed as the sun melted into the unknown, an oval-shaped face crowned with a reddish-brown mane that was in perfect circlets, almond-shaped eyes that shined a deep mahogany, and one could not forget the plump bulges that fought their way out from their confinesment. He watched as the bounced with each step she took, he licked his lips and looked up at her as she stopped abruptly and smiled at him. Repulsion hit him immediately, he could deal with deformities, a missing limb, etc. but teeth- the improper care of teeth was the biggest turn-off. He smiled back weakly, running his tongue over his teeth. "How did-your tooth-how?" he asked, but it was barely audible.
She gave him a funny look and tried to decipher what he said with no success. "Anyways," she started, her eye brows still furrowed, "I was going to tell you that we are in Verdin and now I must leave you to find the rest of my crew. Au revoir."
He looked up and noticed people bustling through the streets, how odd that he had failed ot hear their chattering. Jerek sighed, 'Now I must find that prevaricator. She best be glad my anger has subsided.' He began to search the crowded streets.
Camilla took the clothes made of silk from her brother and half-smiled. Javer embraced Camilla briefly before he left, disappearing in th ewaves. Camilla left for a moment into the woods nearby, returning with the silk clothes draping beautifully about her body. She felt her shadows eyes on her and her blue eyes met theirs.
The town wasn't far away from the ocean but she took more than enough time to get there. She made sure to watch for Jerek as she showed off her new clothes and well developed body. 'He owes me some of what he has. I can buy some new clothes for Mace and Jen.' she thought to herself. She flipped her blonde hair back over her shoulder as she eyed some more fruits.
It was amazing, seeing all these people crammed in these small streets. He loved to people watch, was one of his favorite past times. He found a spot in the middle of everything and sat down. Maybe she'd make her way here so he wouldn't have to find her, was to troublesome. Something poked his thigh as he situated himself on a wooden crate. He jammed his hand in his pocket and fondled the item withing. A smile erupted of his face, showing his perfect white teeth to the world.
A former lover had given him this, he pulled out the amulet. Jerek desperately tried to remember her name. Annessa? Alara? Amaya?....AMAYA! that was her name, a lovely name for a lovely girl. She had told him that this -thing- this "Flower of erif" was the key to...something, but what? He sighed and looked down the streets for a sight of Camilla.
"Lazy a--," Camilla snarled as she came upon Jerek. "You just going to sit around instead of finding me?" She questioned, eyes flashing in anger. She looked him over quickly before jerking him from his spot. "Jen. Search him." She ordered. She figured Jerek wouldn't want Mace searching him. Jen smiled wickedly as her hands traviled the boys body, searching his pockets. She fingered the inknown object hin his pocket but left it alone. It was of no use to her. Mace glared silently at Jerek. Camilla had gone off to speak to a passerbyer. Mace spoke gently to the other boy, his voice fiery. "Where are they? She hoped you had gotten the thing she needed. She will be angry if you didn't."
Jerek grunted as he was moved abruptly from his quite comfy spoit and glared at her. Camilla barked orders to Jen to search him, like she would find anything, he thought. He stood there unamused as the red head searched him and stifled a yawn.
"Where are they?" he heard from the spot Camilla had once recently stood.
"huh? Wha?" he then barely managed to remember the 'valuables' he had just recently gone to get. He listened as the male proceeded to talk. "Pft, your mistress gave me false information, she's not the one who should be mad," he glared at Mace with his peircing sage green eyes, "unless what she really wanted wasI.O.U's, but I doubt that." His gaze turned to Camilla who was chatting away happily it looked with some strange person. He walked to her and whispered in her ear, "You've got some explaining to do."
Mace and Jen had done their job. They had no other orders from Camilla. Jerek had nothing on him that was needed. The shadows took their place behind their mistress. As Jerek spoke in her ear she shivered and frowned. She had paused in her talking with the man. She turned her angry eyes on Jerek. A brief look up and down was given to him before she turned away to speak again.
"Excuse me sir, it seems as if something of dire importance has come up. Please, have a lovely day." She said, her expression now soft and cheerful. She giggled as the man left, wishing her well. For a moment, she was motionless but in the next moment she turned to glare at Jerek. " I have some explaining to do?" She hissed, ready for an all out war.
He blinked. Of course she had some explaining to do. Had she been there as her servant boy questioned him she would have known why. This was why he hated doing business with females, had to explain multiple times. He sighed before openening his mouth, "This isn't the place to be discussing these matters." He placed his hand on her elbow and guided her toward his place. They walked in silence until they reached and enchanting two story building. "Welcome to The Muse," he stated and smiled to himself. He forgot how much he missed this place; his place. He opened the door expecting to see it in its usual pristine state it was always in but was disgusted as he saw things hanging from his many gadgets and piles of who knew what about the floor. "Merek!" he bellowed and listened as it echoed some, "Get your lazy bum down here and clean this up!"
With a pop a mirror immage of Jerek appeared. "Oops," the apparition squeaked as it glanced at the filth that contaminated the room. Merek whistled and beckoned the rubbish to follow him up the stairs.
"Sorry 'bout that," Jerek muttered as he watched his brother assend up the flight of steps, garbage obeying their orders. He turned his attention back to his guests and ran his hand through his messy hair, "I guess we should sit.
You have quite a bit to explain female," he started as soon as she had sat, "Those so called 'valuables' were nothing but I.O.U's. I don't enjoy putting my status on the line for nothing." He glowered at her, his eyes slowly turning to an icy blue, he must control his anger with the insolent being sitting infront of him. The amulet in his pocket felt heavier, he brought it out into the opening, toying with it before asking his questions. "Where are they?" He snarled.
Things happened too fast for her to really follow. Plus, she was so wrapped up in anger that she was almost forgetting to breath. He was touching her, which she hated. She was silent even as they entered his home. She watched Merek with and icy gaze as he moved. When she was comfortably seated with her shadows infront of her she smiled with malice. "You didn't get anything? Nothing?" She said, trying to keep cool. "You think I would willingly send you out and expect you to return empty handed?" Her voice was shaking. He didn't get it? Were the valuables moved? No. If her wanted item were to be moved that meant someone knew what her item was. But they also took Jerek's valuables. She snapped out of her thoughts to see two pairs of curious eyes on her and one pair full of anger. "You went to the wrong house you idiout!" She nearly screamed. The shadows flinched. "Where did you go? Did you steal thim?!" She was becoming hysterical. She stood up and began to pace. Someone stole her demon. Jerek stole her demon. Or so she thought. She turned on him. "Give it to me! You were told to get me the box! I said you could keep the valuables! Was that not enough?" Her hands flew into the air and she growled. Her necklace shimered with her anger. It was a beautiful sight. Jen sat silently, frowning.
Jerek gazed at her, did she really think he'd get the wrong place? He was a genius at these 'games' never made a wrong move, always got what he intended to get, he would of never gotten the wrong place. "Well then, one can only conclude that you gave me the wrong direction's to get there." Seeing the anger flair around her, he smiled. Angry people, other than himself, amused him, the way they could go off, he stifled the laughter that filled him and listened to the rest of what she had to say.
"Me steal?" Amusemendt played in his eyes, "i don't steal from business partners unless they encourage me to do so with their selfishness." He followed her with his eyes as she paced and was still blabbing. Oiy, females and their talking problem! He glanced over at the two silent people, the male was smiling but the other was frowning. Hmpf that's no good, he reached behind one of his wall ornamates and pulled out a bag of chocolate goodies and tossed one to Jen, gave her a smile, then turned his attention back to Camilla to answer her last question.
"Was that enough?!? There was nothing in there to satisfy anyone, much less a box!" He pulled off his boot and took out a peice of paper. "Here. This was all that was in the safe, an I.O.U like I said." He handed it to her before sitting back down.
Merek appeared a few seconds later, "Ohoho! Brother's getting yelled at!" he moved towards Jerek and sat. "You sure are a fiesty thing!" he pointed to at the blonde. He looked at his brother, his tongue gliding gracefully ocross his lips, "A new one! Is this the one you've been hiding?" he stole the talisman from Jerek and eyed it, "Research time!" then disappeared.
Jerek scolded at the spot where Merek had just beem, 'Just like him to interrupt.' He turned his gaze back to Camilla, "What was so important in ther anyways?"
Camilla gave him a bewildered look. He denied her assumptions? Jen caught the chocolate and eyed Camilla for a nod. Camilla gave a nod to her slave and Jen halfed the candy and gave one half to Mace. Two shadows popped candy into their mouths, content for the moment. " I gave you the wrong directions?! I think not!" She squealed. She hated that he enjoyed her anger. It only made it worse. Camilla barely noticed the appearance of Merek, but Jen watched him carefully. Camilla? Fiesty? Jen almost laughed. That was an understatement. Merek seemed nosy. Jen noticed the object she had found in Jerek's pocket. What was it? He spoke again and left. She turned back to Camilla. Camilla hated interuptions, so it was good she didn't notice. She was too busy fuming.
Camilla snatched the paper from the male and crumpled it up. Much to Mace's surprise, she ate it. Oh boy. "That's what I think of your stupid I.O.U's" She growled. Mace sighed. Only one thing to do when she got angry like this. The boy stood gracefully and walked to his mistress. He reached outhis hands to her face. She shook with anger. He closed his eyes and whispered to her. Camilla's eyes rolled back and she collapsed. He put her in a chair. Jen took her place with Camilla and began to stroke her lady's hair. Mace turned to speak with Jerek. "You got her worked up." He sighed. He eyed Camilla. "Pretty isn't she?" He stated more to himself that anyone. "You really didn't find anything?" He asked, but before Jerek could answer he spoke again. "I'm sure you went to the right house. Someone must have moved the valuables. As for what's in the box..." Mace paused a moment, eyes traveling the room. "The box that was supposed to be there held a part of her. It was her demon, Babea. He is the only way she can go meet her mother. Without him, she won't know her mother. Her mother can stop Camilla from dying. We need her." Mace smiled weakly.
Jerek watched as she ate the I.O.U. That coulda been a very important I.O.U for something that held some sort of enchanting object. He watched as the dark skinned male put Camilla to sleep, nice. The boy spoke, answereing the question that Camilla had failed ot provide. Jerek's eyes were now back to their normal sage green selves, the anger emitted from the woman had calmed him. Hmm...So that was the main reason she had been so upset over this. "I should find a room to put her in." He muttered mostly to himself then made way up the stairs.
Merek was busy burying himself in the dozens of books. He looked up as his twin entered the messy rrom. "'ey there, whatcha want?" he ran his tongue over his lips. "Still havn't figered what this thang does, so ya gots ta wait." he began to dig around his nose with his finger then stood up as if he remembered something. "It's about time, eh?" he brought a glass full of thick blue-crimson liquid to Jerek.
Jerek eyed the glass and resisted the urge to giggle like a school girl. As the glass touched his lips the firey liquid emerged itself within him, giving him the feeling of ultimate power. He frowned as the last drop was drained. Dragons blood was by far the best. Merek poked him with a feather. "the room by the lavatory is empty, you can take her there until she awakes." He put on his overly large glasses, stuck a twig in his mouth, then went back to his researching.
Jerek checked on the room his brother had mentioned, sure enough it was empty, a little dreary but it'd work. He walked back down the stairs, I've got a room we can put her in until she awakens, follow me." He then took a step, looked over his hosulder then opened his mouth, "Do you need any help getting her up here? Or do you got it?" It looked as if they could handle it so he headed once again up the stairs.
Mace and Jen spoke softly when Jerek left the room. "Can Camilla stay here?" Jen's voice was soft. She rarely spoke, even to her brother. Camilla slept peacefully in the chair, her face was soft, despite her ealier anger. She was still beautiful when she slept. "We can't trust a theif." Mace said. "We can stay but we must watch her carefully." He added. Jen's face went pale and she shuddered, Mace raised an eyebrow. "blood." she stated simply. Jen had a very good sense of smell. It was dragon's blood, she knew. There were water dragons in the ocean as well. Of course, they were hard to find. Water dragons kept to themselves. They were shy. "What about her brother?" Jen remembered suddenly. They were supposed to meet him when it got dark. Mace moved over to a window and peeked out. The sun was slowly creeping down the blue sky, reaching for the horizon. "Send Candy." Mace said. Jen closed her eyes and summoned the so called "Candy". A small creature with wings appeared before her. It was a blue horse. It snickered gently and nudged Jen. The red head's eyes opened. "Candy! You look lovely!" She complimented. Candy bobbed up and down. Candy was a water spirit. Spirits sometimes hooked up with water demons as partners. "Candy, go speak to Javer for me," Jen continued on to tell about the situation. Candy poofed away.
They heard Jerek on the stairs and got quiet. Slaves were not really allowed to do magic. Camilla was supposed to have blocked their magic when she bought them, but she was very leanean(sp?) This caused the shadows to be extremely loyal. Mace brushed hair out of his eyes and sighed. He wasn't a demon of any sort. Actually, Mace was an angel. He had falled from God's graces though. He had killed. He slaughtered a human who killed another. In return, his wings were ripped from his lovely dark back. He was left as a slave. He had been left with blood draining from his back...a slave to the very people he had once watched over. How did they repay him? They enslaved him. His healing powers were taken away for a while so he could suffer. It had been torture. When Camilla came in to the picture he had changed. He still didn't have his healing powers but he had gotten another back. No one quite knew how this power worked, but he didn't mind. He had figured some of it out. 'I sure hope that I.O.U wasn't important.'
Midway up he paused and looked back, neither had followed him. Hmm. "Hello, are ya'll going to bring her up or what?" He sat down and waited. Wonder what they are up to. It didn't look as if either had heard what he had said. "Ahem," He said in a louder voice, "I have a room with a bed that is quite a bit more comfortable than that chair, I promise you. Do you need help bringing her up?" He waited for a reply, they should have heard him that time.
When Jerek had come the first time they had been playing a mind game, causing them to block him out. The second time they heard him. "We got her." Mace answered. the shadows got their owner and carried her up the stairs after Jerek, watching the walls as they passed. There, they put her in bed and Mace delicately tucked her in. The room wasn't fit for someone like Camilla. It was too...dark? Jen wondered what to do now. They were slaves and without their master they had nothing to do. Camilla was surely dreaming of home. They knew how much she missed it. Maybe she could go home soon and rest eaily. She needed to relax more. It would calm her nerves.
Jerek looked unsure about what to do next, he rarely had visitors. He glanced at them all before heading towards the door. He guessed it wouldn't hurt to open the curtains, it was to somber in here. 'There, that's atleast a little better.' he thought and looked around the room. "I'll be back in a bit, if ya need anything just holler. My names Jerek by the way" and with that he turned and left the room.
"SQUAAAAA!" went the visitor alert, who could that be? He groaned. 'Hope it's not Soren' he didn't feel like messing with him right now. "SQUAAA!! SQUAAA!! SQUEAKK!"
"Keep your knickers on! My gosh!" He jumped over the railing and landed on his feet.
"SQUA----"I TOLD YOU TO HOLD ON!" Jerek Yelled as he opened the door. "Err..." He looked from face to face at the strangers until a familiar one smiled at him. "Bloody 'ell! what are you doing here and who are all these people?" he asked Ananke.
Ananke pouted, "Nice to see you as well. As for these people, they are of my crew. I'll introduce you to them later. But first we have a proposition for you, and maybe perhaps even your brother. I told them about ya'lls skills. We need people like you for our next quest. Are you up for it?" She flashed him a toothy smile and waited for his response.
The opened curtains let in a little light from outside. Now what? Were they supposed to just sit? Mace stood up, coaxing his slave sister to follow. "I heard something." He stated. A doorbell? What was it? The smell of blood was still in the air. It was keeping Jen from concentrating. Outside of Camilla's room they heard voices. They put the people in their line of vision making sure not to be caught or lose the room. A female needed Jerek's help? For what? Was he leaving them there? "He owes us." Mace growled. He eyed Jen, admiring her sparkling blue-silver skin. Her red eyes were full of curiousity and what looked like anger. The shadows went to the bottom of the stairs and sat on the bottom step. Both were silent. Jen's eyes flamed as she watched. Mace didn't even look into their minds. It wasn't their place to listen i, but it was for the sake of Camilla. Jen stood and walked off. She had gone to find the kitchen. Camilla would be hungry when she woke up. Mace continued to watch Jerek.
Camilla was oblivious to jMace's nosy watching of their host. She woke for a moment, mind flushing quickly. She remembered something but it sank back into her subconciousness. She fell into the darkness again.
Jen eventually found the kitchen. She began searching for something to cook. she found fish. For some reason she felt bad for the fish, yet that was most of what water demons ate. She pulled the fish out of the freezer and began cooking.
Candy sat quietly Javer, watching as he sold clothes and shells. He was worried about Camilla, but she could hold her own. Javer's real shop was in the city underwater but he had a smaller shop, like most of the water people, on land. This allowed land people to shop here as well. He had good money and he offered to give some to Camilla, but she had wanted to make it herself. she was pretty wealthy anyway. Plus, she was beautiful so if she ran out of money there was no way she would be captured and enslaved. She could simply regain her money. "Go back to Jen. Have her take care of Camilla. As for their host, watch him carefully." Javer spoke gently to Candy. He pet the horse before she popped out of his veiw. Javer sighed. It had been a long day.
A proposition? what kind of proposition?" Jerek wanted answeres. "And what do you mean you told them about my skills? I'm just a merchant!" He began to breathe heavily, looking frantically at them all...no one should know what he really does! His brother always erased his "business" partners recollection of Jereks thiefing behavior, how could they have found out?
Merek looked up from his books, who was that? It seemed familiar. He looked around the room, "Now what are they up to?" He knew this house better than any other. Knew when things moved and where to before even entering a room. He slid his tongue over his lips and stood up with a slight smile on his face.
The merchant didnt know what to do. He was puzzled, how could they have known? He led them inside, there were twelve of them, five males and seven females. "Jerek," a female said in a heavily accented voice, "Ve know zat yew are nah jus' un merchant, but yew are en fact un collectar of magikal objects, am I right?"
He stood there dumbfounded , relief washed over him, "Ya got that right--what's your name?" He failed to see his brother walk down the stairs. "Ze name es Kalypso," She smiled. All her teeth were still there.
"What's going on?" Merek whispered to Mace from behind. He didn't wait on an answer and sat down beside him. "i know her," his finger pointed in the direction of the female with the reddish brown hair, "Her name is Ananke, and that there," He pointed to a male with rusty red hair, "is captain Jared." Merek looked at the male sitting beside him, "What's your name?"
"A guy you know has stolen an important object of ours and hes fled the vicinity(dp?). Ananke can tell you his name," a male with the air of authority about him spoke.
"Not only our object but many other people around here have reported their stuff missing, and all described the same person. that person is Soren. What was left in its place was this," Ananke handed him a familiar looking I.O.U. and glared. Camilla should know that their stuff was taken by this low life thief. He sighed. "What would Soren want with this stuff, hes never had interest with artifacts, in fact..." he faultered. If he kept on with this story then they would know about his second life. He ran his fingers through his hair then placed both hands in his pants pockets. "Why would you need me and my brother?" Sage green eyes met with Ananke's mahogany ones.
"Well," she leaned in close to Jerek so no one could hear her, "You know Soren better than the rest of us, you are the one who taught him everything about the world of thiefology, so you should be able to figure out his moves." She leaned back a little, "your brother...eh, he would know what we needed him to do, probably already does, she winked toward the hall. Jerek lifted and eyebrow, what was that for, and how did she know abou this history with Soren? Not many people knew about that.
Mace listened intently to the conversation. So Jerek had good theif skills. Peachy. Mace knew Jerek was a theif, but what of these skills? As Merek spoke Mace jumped. Ah. The brother. Merek sat down next to Mace and continued to speak. So. Merek knew them. "I'm Mace." He whispered back. "I'm not sure..they havn't said much. The girl you pointed out to be Ananke says she has a proposition." He paused to listen to what else they had to say. He couldn't hear. Ananke was speaking quietly. "Soren..." Mace whispered. "The box was gone...I.O.U.'s were there instead. Soren did it." Mace whispered. "Ananke knows we are here," he said to Merek. "You have something to do with this..." Mace accused. It seemed that there would be a lot of explaining to do.
Jen worked quickly in the kitched. Candy had come back and was busying herself with cutting vegatables. Camilla wouldn't wake up until morning. Jen was making the fish a certain way. It would have to be put in the ice box over night and recooked in the morning. It made the fish better. A smell came to her nose and she sighed. The smell of the ocean. Salt water. It reminded her of home. Jerek had let the people in. Candy eyed her partner. Jen debated on going in the other room.
(thats all we have so far. This is my sisters first time to write with someone else...I've done it for a while. This was just for the fun of it so it's kinda bad ^.^)
Sweat dropped down his brow as he turned the lock. -Click click- One more left to go. Jerek seized an intake of air as the last click ensued. "Bingo," he muttered as the safe opened, "Now what have we here?" Many I.O.U's were placed inside. "What the f---. I was told there were valuables in here. I'm going to have to murder Camilla for her faulty informations." He threw the I.O.U's back into the safe.
Camilla walked through the marked streets eying the foods and clothing. There were many interesting things among the shops. Behind her were two shadows that moved with her, never moving unless she did. Neither spoke a word to her. They were her silent shadows. She stopped at a booth and smiled down at the shiny red apples. 'Yum' She thought. She looked back and saw that two sets of curious eyes were on the tasty treats as well. She bought three apples and tossed one to each shadow. The gratefully munched on the while she took her time eating the sweet fruit. "Where is he?" She asked herself. Her brother was supposed to meet her at the market but had yet to show. She was worried about the water demon. How much longer would she have to wait?
The anger rose as the distance between him and the town decreased. What he would do to her if she were here right now. He bit his scrawny hand maliciously then let it go. A sliver of flesh was missing. He rolled it around in his mouth grinning, how he loved the tasted of fresh blood with its somewhat salty but more metal-icy taste. Why was he grinning? He slapped himself, he was supposed to be angry! The anger began to rise immediately. How dare he slap himself! If this continued he would have to resort to last times tactics...he wouldn't want to have to revert to that.
"Digressing again, eh?" a female voice called to him. "Eh? What the bloody 'ell are you doing here? I thought you were in Tebirva." He ran his mauled hand thorough his dark ruffled hair as he turned to face his guest. "'Too dangerous' or thats what the Cap'n said. Anyways, i'm on my was to town, gots me some sparklin yils t'spend." She flashed him a smiled, a tooth was missing, making him wince. He scratched himself. "Am headed that way myself. Min if I join you?"
Camilla sat down on the beach with her shadows, eyes watching the waves. She watched carefully for her brother, scanning the ocean. Suddenly a strange form came from beneath the water. "Javer!" She squealed as he came onto the land. His red eyes met with his sister and her shadows. "Waiting for me?" He questioned. "Aiy!" She laughed. she eyed his bluish skin and sighed. She longed for the silvery skin he had. It was so pretty. she turned to look at her shadows and looked them over. They were beautiful too. So was she. Mace had blue eyes and brown skin. He was taller than his slave sister, but was short for his age. He had brownish blond hair that fell into his eyes. Jen had long red hair that reached her waist. Her eyes were a deep crimson. She was of the water demons as well. Her skin was just as blue and silver as Javer's was.
Camilla was a blue-eyed blond. She was also a demon but not of the water tribe. She had no clue where she was from.
Javer handed Camilla something. It was a necklace made from valuable shells he had brought from the underwater city. They glowed with color. She loved shells. She loved anything that sparkled. The shells were blue in color with shades of green. He put the necklace around the girls neck and nodded in approval. Javer would have to leave soon, she knew. He had to return to his market place. "I made you something," he said, eyeing her clothes. She was wearing dark earthy colors that made her look poor and hopeless. The only thing that said she was wealthy was her slaves. Only wealthy people had slaves. She knew what he had made her. He made her the only thing he could made: Clothes.
Their journey to twon was a long one, or so it seemed. He had to listen to Ananke's annoying chattering, the one thing he hated above all else. When would it end? He glanced over at her and was once again mesmerized by her outer beauty, soft olive-coloed skin that glowed as the sun melted into the unknown, an oval-shaped face crowned with a reddish-brown mane that was in perfect circlets, almond-shaped eyes that shined a deep mahogany, and one could not forget the plump bulges that fought their way out from their confinesment. He watched as the bounced with each step she took, he licked his lips and looked up at her as she stopped abruptly and smiled at him. Repulsion hit him immediately, he could deal with deformities, a missing limb, etc. but teeth- the improper care of teeth was the biggest turn-off. He smiled back weakly, running his tongue over his teeth. "How did-your tooth-how?" he asked, but it was barely audible.
She gave him a funny look and tried to decipher what he said with no success. "Anyways," she started, her eye brows still furrowed, "I was going to tell you that we are in Verdin and now I must leave you to find the rest of my crew. Au revoir."
He looked up and noticed people bustling through the streets, how odd that he had failed ot hear their chattering. Jerek sighed, 'Now I must find that prevaricator. She best be glad my anger has subsided.' He began to search the crowded streets.
Camilla took the clothes made of silk from her brother and half-smiled. Javer embraced Camilla briefly before he left, disappearing in th ewaves. Camilla left for a moment into the woods nearby, returning with the silk clothes draping beautifully about her body. She felt her shadows eyes on her and her blue eyes met theirs.
The town wasn't far away from the ocean but she took more than enough time to get there. She made sure to watch for Jerek as she showed off her new clothes and well developed body. 'He owes me some of what he has. I can buy some new clothes for Mace and Jen.' she thought to herself. She flipped her blonde hair back over her shoulder as she eyed some more fruits.
It was amazing, seeing all these people crammed in these small streets. He loved to people watch, was one of his favorite past times. He found a spot in the middle of everything and sat down. Maybe she'd make her way here so he wouldn't have to find her, was to troublesome. Something poked his thigh as he situated himself on a wooden crate. He jammed his hand in his pocket and fondled the item withing. A smile erupted of his face, showing his perfect white teeth to the world.
A former lover had given him this, he pulled out the amulet. Jerek desperately tried to remember her name. Annessa? Alara? Amaya?....AMAYA! that was her name, a lovely name for a lovely girl. She had told him that this -thing- this "Flower of erif" was the key to...something, but what? He sighed and looked down the streets for a sight of Camilla.
"Lazy a--," Camilla snarled as she came upon Jerek. "You just going to sit around instead of finding me?" She questioned, eyes flashing in anger. She looked him over quickly before jerking him from his spot. "Jen. Search him." She ordered. She figured Jerek wouldn't want Mace searching him. Jen smiled wickedly as her hands traviled the boys body, searching his pockets. She fingered the inknown object hin his pocket but left it alone. It was of no use to her. Mace glared silently at Jerek. Camilla had gone off to speak to a passerbyer. Mace spoke gently to the other boy, his voice fiery. "Where are they? She hoped you had gotten the thing she needed. She will be angry if you didn't."
Jerek grunted as he was moved abruptly from his quite comfy spoit and glared at her. Camilla barked orders to Jen to search him, like she would find anything, he thought. He stood there unamused as the red head searched him and stifled a yawn.
"Where are they?" he heard from the spot Camilla had once recently stood.
"huh? Wha?" he then barely managed to remember the 'valuables' he had just recently gone to get. He listened as the male proceeded to talk. "Pft, your mistress gave me false information, she's not the one who should be mad," he glared at Mace with his peircing sage green eyes, "unless what she really wanted wasI.O.U's, but I doubt that." His gaze turned to Camilla who was chatting away happily it looked with some strange person. He walked to her and whispered in her ear, "You've got some explaining to do."
Mace and Jen had done their job. They had no other orders from Camilla. Jerek had nothing on him that was needed. The shadows took their place behind their mistress. As Jerek spoke in her ear she shivered and frowned. She had paused in her talking with the man. She turned her angry eyes on Jerek. A brief look up and down was given to him before she turned away to speak again.
"Excuse me sir, it seems as if something of dire importance has come up. Please, have a lovely day." She said, her expression now soft and cheerful. She giggled as the man left, wishing her well. For a moment, she was motionless but in the next moment she turned to glare at Jerek. " I have some explaining to do?" She hissed, ready for an all out war.
He blinked. Of course she had some explaining to do. Had she been there as her servant boy questioned him she would have known why. This was why he hated doing business with females, had to explain multiple times. He sighed before openening his mouth, "This isn't the place to be discussing these matters." He placed his hand on her elbow and guided her toward his place. They walked in silence until they reached and enchanting two story building. "Welcome to The Muse," he stated and smiled to himself. He forgot how much he missed this place; his place. He opened the door expecting to see it in its usual pristine state it was always in but was disgusted as he saw things hanging from his many gadgets and piles of who knew what about the floor. "Merek!" he bellowed and listened as it echoed some, "Get your lazy bum down here and clean this up!"
With a pop a mirror immage of Jerek appeared. "Oops," the apparition squeaked as it glanced at the filth that contaminated the room. Merek whistled and beckoned the rubbish to follow him up the stairs.
"Sorry 'bout that," Jerek muttered as he watched his brother assend up the flight of steps, garbage obeying their orders. He turned his attention back to his guests and ran his hand through his messy hair, "I guess we should sit.
You have quite a bit to explain female," he started as soon as she had sat, "Those so called 'valuables' were nothing but I.O.U's. I don't enjoy putting my status on the line for nothing." He glowered at her, his eyes slowly turning to an icy blue, he must control his anger with the insolent being sitting infront of him. The amulet in his pocket felt heavier, he brought it out into the opening, toying with it before asking his questions. "Where are they?" He snarled.
Things happened too fast for her to really follow. Plus, she was so wrapped up in anger that she was almost forgetting to breath. He was touching her, which she hated. She was silent even as they entered his home. She watched Merek with and icy gaze as he moved. When she was comfortably seated with her shadows infront of her she smiled with malice. "You didn't get anything? Nothing?" She said, trying to keep cool. "You think I would willingly send you out and expect you to return empty handed?" Her voice was shaking. He didn't get it? Were the valuables moved? No. If her wanted item were to be moved that meant someone knew what her item was. But they also took Jerek's valuables. She snapped out of her thoughts to see two pairs of curious eyes on her and one pair full of anger. "You went to the wrong house you idiout!" She nearly screamed. The shadows flinched. "Where did you go? Did you steal thim?!" She was becoming hysterical. She stood up and began to pace. Someone stole her demon. Jerek stole her demon. Or so she thought. She turned on him. "Give it to me! You were told to get me the box! I said you could keep the valuables! Was that not enough?" Her hands flew into the air and she growled. Her necklace shimered with her anger. It was a beautiful sight. Jen sat silently, frowning.
Jerek gazed at her, did she really think he'd get the wrong place? He was a genius at these 'games' never made a wrong move, always got what he intended to get, he would of never gotten the wrong place. "Well then, one can only conclude that you gave me the wrong direction's to get there." Seeing the anger flair around her, he smiled. Angry people, other than himself, amused him, the way they could go off, he stifled the laughter that filled him and listened to the rest of what she had to say.
"Me steal?" Amusemendt played in his eyes, "i don't steal from business partners unless they encourage me to do so with their selfishness." He followed her with his eyes as she paced and was still blabbing. Oiy, females and their talking problem! He glanced over at the two silent people, the male was smiling but the other was frowning. Hmpf that's no good, he reached behind one of his wall ornamates and pulled out a bag of chocolate goodies and tossed one to Jen, gave her a smile, then turned his attention back to Camilla to answer her last question.
"Was that enough?!? There was nothing in there to satisfy anyone, much less a box!" He pulled off his boot and took out a peice of paper. "Here. This was all that was in the safe, an I.O.U like I said." He handed it to her before sitting back down.
Merek appeared a few seconds later, "Ohoho! Brother's getting yelled at!" he moved towards Jerek and sat. "You sure are a fiesty thing!" he pointed to at the blonde. He looked at his brother, his tongue gliding gracefully ocross his lips, "A new one! Is this the one you've been hiding?" he stole the talisman from Jerek and eyed it, "Research time!" then disappeared.
Jerek scolded at the spot where Merek had just beem, 'Just like him to interrupt.' He turned his gaze back to Camilla, "What was so important in ther anyways?"
Camilla gave him a bewildered look. He denied her assumptions? Jen caught the chocolate and eyed Camilla for a nod. Camilla gave a nod to her slave and Jen halfed the candy and gave one half to Mace. Two shadows popped candy into their mouths, content for the moment. " I gave you the wrong directions?! I think not!" She squealed. She hated that he enjoyed her anger. It only made it worse. Camilla barely noticed the appearance of Merek, but Jen watched him carefully. Camilla? Fiesty? Jen almost laughed. That was an understatement. Merek seemed nosy. Jen noticed the object she had found in Jerek's pocket. What was it? He spoke again and left. She turned back to Camilla. Camilla hated interuptions, so it was good she didn't notice. She was too busy fuming.
Camilla snatched the paper from the male and crumpled it up. Much to Mace's surprise, she ate it. Oh boy. "That's what I think of your stupid I.O.U's" She growled. Mace sighed. Only one thing to do when she got angry like this. The boy stood gracefully and walked to his mistress. He reached outhis hands to her face. She shook with anger. He closed his eyes and whispered to her. Camilla's eyes rolled back and she collapsed. He put her in a chair. Jen took her place with Camilla and began to stroke her lady's hair. Mace turned to speak with Jerek. "You got her worked up." He sighed. He eyed Camilla. "Pretty isn't she?" He stated more to himself that anyone. "You really didn't find anything?" He asked, but before Jerek could answer he spoke again. "I'm sure you went to the right house. Someone must have moved the valuables. As for what's in the box..." Mace paused a moment, eyes traveling the room. "The box that was supposed to be there held a part of her. It was her demon, Babea. He is the only way she can go meet her mother. Without him, she won't know her mother. Her mother can stop Camilla from dying. We need her." Mace smiled weakly.
Jerek watched as she ate the I.O.U. That coulda been a very important I.O.U for something that held some sort of enchanting object. He watched as the dark skinned male put Camilla to sleep, nice. The boy spoke, answereing the question that Camilla had failed ot provide. Jerek's eyes were now back to their normal sage green selves, the anger emitted from the woman had calmed him. Hmm...So that was the main reason she had been so upset over this. "I should find a room to put her in." He muttered mostly to himself then made way up the stairs.
Merek was busy burying himself in the dozens of books. He looked up as his twin entered the messy rrom. "'ey there, whatcha want?" he ran his tongue over his lips. "Still havn't figered what this thang does, so ya gots ta wait." he began to dig around his nose with his finger then stood up as if he remembered something. "It's about time, eh?" he brought a glass full of thick blue-crimson liquid to Jerek.
Jerek eyed the glass and resisted the urge to giggle like a school girl. As the glass touched his lips the firey liquid emerged itself within him, giving him the feeling of ultimate power. He frowned as the last drop was drained. Dragons blood was by far the best. Merek poked him with a feather. "the room by the lavatory is empty, you can take her there until she awakes." He put on his overly large glasses, stuck a twig in his mouth, then went back to his researching.
Jerek checked on the room his brother had mentioned, sure enough it was empty, a little dreary but it'd work. He walked back down the stairs, I've got a room we can put her in until she awakens, follow me." He then took a step, looked over his hosulder then opened his mouth, "Do you need any help getting her up here? Or do you got it?" It looked as if they could handle it so he headed once again up the stairs.
Mace and Jen spoke softly when Jerek left the room. "Can Camilla stay here?" Jen's voice was soft. She rarely spoke, even to her brother. Camilla slept peacefully in the chair, her face was soft, despite her ealier anger. She was still beautiful when she slept. "We can't trust a theif." Mace said. "We can stay but we must watch her carefully." He added. Jen's face went pale and she shuddered, Mace raised an eyebrow. "blood." she stated simply. Jen had a very good sense of smell. It was dragon's blood, she knew. There were water dragons in the ocean as well. Of course, they were hard to find. Water dragons kept to themselves. They were shy. "What about her brother?" Jen remembered suddenly. They were supposed to meet him when it got dark. Mace moved over to a window and peeked out. The sun was slowly creeping down the blue sky, reaching for the horizon. "Send Candy." Mace said. Jen closed her eyes and summoned the so called "Candy". A small creature with wings appeared before her. It was a blue horse. It snickered gently and nudged Jen. The red head's eyes opened. "Candy! You look lovely!" She complimented. Candy bobbed up and down. Candy was a water spirit. Spirits sometimes hooked up with water demons as partners. "Candy, go speak to Javer for me," Jen continued on to tell about the situation. Candy poofed away.
They heard Jerek on the stairs and got quiet. Slaves were not really allowed to do magic. Camilla was supposed to have blocked their magic when she bought them, but she was very leanean(sp?) This caused the shadows to be extremely loyal. Mace brushed hair out of his eyes and sighed. He wasn't a demon of any sort. Actually, Mace was an angel. He had falled from God's graces though. He had killed. He slaughtered a human who killed another. In return, his wings were ripped from his lovely dark back. He was left as a slave. He had been left with blood draining from his back...a slave to the very people he had once watched over. How did they repay him? They enslaved him. His healing powers were taken away for a while so he could suffer. It had been torture. When Camilla came in to the picture he had changed. He still didn't have his healing powers but he had gotten another back. No one quite knew how this power worked, but he didn't mind. He had figured some of it out. 'I sure hope that I.O.U wasn't important.'
Midway up he paused and looked back, neither had followed him. Hmm. "Hello, are ya'll going to bring her up or what?" He sat down and waited. Wonder what they are up to. It didn't look as if either had heard what he had said. "Ahem," He said in a louder voice, "I have a room with a bed that is quite a bit more comfortable than that chair, I promise you. Do you need help bringing her up?" He waited for a reply, they should have heard him that time.
When Jerek had come the first time they had been playing a mind game, causing them to block him out. The second time they heard him. "We got her." Mace answered. the shadows got their owner and carried her up the stairs after Jerek, watching the walls as they passed. There, they put her in bed and Mace delicately tucked her in. The room wasn't fit for someone like Camilla. It was too...dark? Jen wondered what to do now. They were slaves and without their master they had nothing to do. Camilla was surely dreaming of home. They knew how much she missed it. Maybe she could go home soon and rest eaily. She needed to relax more. It would calm her nerves.
Jerek looked unsure about what to do next, he rarely had visitors. He glanced at them all before heading towards the door. He guessed it wouldn't hurt to open the curtains, it was to somber in here. 'There, that's atleast a little better.' he thought and looked around the room. "I'll be back in a bit, if ya need anything just holler. My names Jerek by the way" and with that he turned and left the room.
"SQUAAAAA!" went the visitor alert, who could that be? He groaned. 'Hope it's not Soren' he didn't feel like messing with him right now. "SQUAAA!! SQUAAA!! SQUEAKK!"
"Keep your knickers on! My gosh!" He jumped over the railing and landed on his feet.
"SQUA----"I TOLD YOU TO HOLD ON!" Jerek Yelled as he opened the door. "Err..." He looked from face to face at the strangers until a familiar one smiled at him. "Bloody 'ell! what are you doing here and who are all these people?" he asked Ananke.
Ananke pouted, "Nice to see you as well. As for these people, they are of my crew. I'll introduce you to them later. But first we have a proposition for you, and maybe perhaps even your brother. I told them about ya'lls skills. We need people like you for our next quest. Are you up for it?" She flashed him a toothy smile and waited for his response.
The opened curtains let in a little light from outside. Now what? Were they supposed to just sit? Mace stood up, coaxing his slave sister to follow. "I heard something." He stated. A doorbell? What was it? The smell of blood was still in the air. It was keeping Jen from concentrating. Outside of Camilla's room they heard voices. They put the people in their line of vision making sure not to be caught or lose the room. A female needed Jerek's help? For what? Was he leaving them there? "He owes us." Mace growled. He eyed Jen, admiring her sparkling blue-silver skin. Her red eyes were full of curiousity and what looked like anger. The shadows went to the bottom of the stairs and sat on the bottom step. Both were silent. Jen's eyes flamed as she watched. Mace didn't even look into their minds. It wasn't their place to listen i, but it was for the sake of Camilla. Jen stood and walked off. She had gone to find the kitchen. Camilla would be hungry when she woke up. Mace continued to watch Jerek.
Camilla was oblivious to jMace's nosy watching of their host. She woke for a moment, mind flushing quickly. She remembered something but it sank back into her subconciousness. She fell into the darkness again.
Jen eventually found the kitchen. She began searching for something to cook. she found fish. For some reason she felt bad for the fish, yet that was most of what water demons ate. She pulled the fish out of the freezer and began cooking.
Candy sat quietly Javer, watching as he sold clothes and shells. He was worried about Camilla, but she could hold her own. Javer's real shop was in the city underwater but he had a smaller shop, like most of the water people, on land. This allowed land people to shop here as well. He had good money and he offered to give some to Camilla, but she had wanted to make it herself. she was pretty wealthy anyway. Plus, she was beautiful so if she ran out of money there was no way she would be captured and enslaved. She could simply regain her money. "Go back to Jen. Have her take care of Camilla. As for their host, watch him carefully." Javer spoke gently to Candy. He pet the horse before she popped out of his veiw. Javer sighed. It had been a long day.
A proposition? what kind of proposition?" Jerek wanted answeres. "And what do you mean you told them about my skills? I'm just a merchant!" He began to breathe heavily, looking frantically at them all...no one should know what he really does! His brother always erased his "business" partners recollection of Jereks thiefing behavior, how could they have found out?
Merek looked up from his books, who was that? It seemed familiar. He looked around the room, "Now what are they up to?" He knew this house better than any other. Knew when things moved and where to before even entering a room. He slid his tongue over his lips and stood up with a slight smile on his face.
The merchant didnt know what to do. He was puzzled, how could they have known? He led them inside, there were twelve of them, five males and seven females. "Jerek," a female said in a heavily accented voice, "Ve know zat yew are nah jus' un merchant, but yew are en fact un collectar of magikal objects, am I right?"
He stood there dumbfounded , relief washed over him, "Ya got that right--what's your name?" He failed to see his brother walk down the stairs. "Ze name es Kalypso," She smiled. All her teeth were still there.
"What's going on?" Merek whispered to Mace from behind. He didn't wait on an answer and sat down beside him. "i know her," his finger pointed in the direction of the female with the reddish brown hair, "Her name is Ananke, and that there," He pointed to a male with rusty red hair, "is captain Jared." Merek looked at the male sitting beside him, "What's your name?"
"A guy you know has stolen an important object of ours and hes fled the vicinity(dp?). Ananke can tell you his name," a male with the air of authority about him spoke.
"Not only our object but many other people around here have reported their stuff missing, and all described the same person. that person is Soren. What was left in its place was this," Ananke handed him a familiar looking I.O.U. and glared. Camilla should know that their stuff was taken by this low life thief. He sighed. "What would Soren want with this stuff, hes never had interest with artifacts, in fact..." he faultered. If he kept on with this story then they would know about his second life. He ran his fingers through his hair then placed both hands in his pants pockets. "Why would you need me and my brother?" Sage green eyes met with Ananke's mahogany ones.
"Well," she leaned in close to Jerek so no one could hear her, "You know Soren better than the rest of us, you are the one who taught him everything about the world of thiefology, so you should be able to figure out his moves." She leaned back a little, "your brother...eh, he would know what we needed him to do, probably already does, she winked toward the hall. Jerek lifted and eyebrow, what was that for, and how did she know abou this history with Soren? Not many people knew about that.
Mace listened intently to the conversation. So Jerek had good theif skills. Peachy. Mace knew Jerek was a theif, but what of these skills? As Merek spoke Mace jumped. Ah. The brother. Merek sat down next to Mace and continued to speak. So. Merek knew them. "I'm Mace." He whispered back. "I'm not sure..they havn't said much. The girl you pointed out to be Ananke says she has a proposition." He paused to listen to what else they had to say. He couldn't hear. Ananke was speaking quietly. "Soren..." Mace whispered. "The box was gone...I.O.U.'s were there instead. Soren did it." Mace whispered. "Ananke knows we are here," he said to Merek. "You have something to do with this..." Mace accused. It seemed that there would be a lot of explaining to do.
Jen worked quickly in the kitched. Candy had come back and was busying herself with cutting vegatables. Camilla wouldn't wake up until morning. Jen was making the fish a certain way. It would have to be put in the ice box over night and recooked in the morning. It made the fish better. A smell came to her nose and she sighed. The smell of the ocean. Salt water. It reminded her of home. Jerek had let the people in. Candy eyed her partner. Jen debated on going in the other room.
(thats all we have so far. This is my sisters first time to write with someone else...I've done it for a while. This was just for the fun of it so it's kinda bad ^.^)
Author notes
Yils is what we named the money ^.^
A contest entry
- I WILL READ ANYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! by Vietbabe909.
350 points, ended April 24, 2007, 72 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Lemme know what you think
Comments
1 - 17 of 17
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This was a great story. You both clearly have a lot of talent. Best of luck in all your future writing endevours.

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This story is really good. you and your sister are talented and wonderful writers. I really like your work!
~LV~ -
this is really great! i love this!
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holy!!!!!!!!
Wow tonya tell your sister and this goes for you to this was just amazing!!!!!!

beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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lol, you really think so??? O.o??
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Might wanna go through and recheck the words lol some words are missing letters.
I'll be honest, the begining of the story didn't interest me or catch me. And the explination ab out the different demons left me slightly 'huh?' I dunno, ya'll might want to work on developing races/locations/history. It'd make writing much easier and you'd be able to go into so much more detail. Keep up the work though. -
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Hahaha, yea... It wasn't written to be interesting, just for the heck of writing...thats why it isn't very interesting. As for the demons, I was thinking about making a thing for the races and such...so I will probably do that sometimes soon
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yeah, we really need to like, go back and prolly do some editing or something. And we've been kinda working on all the stuff we shoulda have worked on when we started this... but then again, we did just start this outta boredom, not meaning for it to last more than a day...
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This is interesting - I'm curious to see where it's going.
Just add a bit more detail - example: There were many interesting things among the shops - tell what they are. -
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Thanks. Part two is in my stories. It was just for the heck of writing, so me and Krysa put something together. It is drawn out, though, which I may later go in and change. I do need more detail, I know. Thanks for the comment ^.^
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Welcome
I'll have to check out part two
And if you did break it into smaller parts it would be easier to read - for non commenters anyway - they see a small scrollbar and just go the other way.
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Lol, thanks
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Good!
I like the story so far! w00t! -
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Awww, thanks
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interesting...
the story was okay. the dialogue needs to be separated for the story to flow better than just paragraphs. thanks for entering in my contest -
WOOOOOOO!!!! that was fun ^_^
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OMG THIS IS SOOOOO MEGA FRIGGIN GOOD!
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