I sat on the ground in the middle of the fruit section, happily using my dirty nails to stab at the orange's thick peel. It was the only barrier that preventing me from devouring the sweet inside of the fruit. My small fingers weren't strong enough to swiftly tear off the peel like I'd seen my parents do, and I was quite disappointed. I sat there, with great perseverance, stabbing and ripping little pieces off at a time. I just hoped I could get it peeled and eaten before my mom found me.1
When I'd finally gotten enough of the peel off to be able to smell the fruit inside, I was quite content to just sit there inhaling the sweet scent. No longer could I smell the rotten scent of the overripe fruits around, or the smell of anything else for that matter. All I could smell was the overpowering, tangy scent of that orange. 2
I began peeling at the orange again, and finally I managed to get the majority of the peel off. I separated one thin slice from the rest, and gently placed it on my awaiting tongue. I closed my mouth around the treat, and bit down softly, sucking out the orange juice. When all the excess juice was gone I chewed the remaining fruit, and quickly swallowed it, so I could devour the next precious slice.3
I heard my mom calling my name from a couple aisles over, and I could hear the rough clods of my brother's feet. I began shoving the orange slices in my mouth, several at a time, and chomping them quickly. My mouth filled with sweet, yet tangy juice, and some spilled out from between my lips. I wanted to laugh at myself, sitting there, sticky with orange juice, pulp in my teeth, bits of thick, smooth orange peel in my lap, but I was intent on eating the entire orange, so I willed myself not to laugh, and shoved the last two slices of orange in my mouth, just as my mom rounded the corner into the fruit department.4
I stood up and brushed the grimy pulp pieces, and chunks of peel off of me. I used my sleeve to wipe the sticky juice off my face. I looked helplessly at the dribbles of juice all over my clothes, and shrugged it off. A smirk fought its way onto my face, as I realized how strongly I smelled like oranges. I was sweet yet tangy at the same time. 5
Author notes
another english assigment
What did you think? Please comment!
Comments
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IJ like that, it was a sweet little story. It might be interesting to try working in the age of the girl, it was a bit confusing being left out. Not really confusing, but it would help create the picture better. And maybe seeing a bit of the mother's reaction would be nice too, as fuel to the girl's train of thought at the end. Besides that, this is such a sweet little story, good job,
Amanda -
aww, wow. that was so sweet, lol. it made me smile, especially the way way you ended it : 'A smirk fought its way onto my face, as I realized how strongly I smelled like oranges.' Great work, keep writing
xx

