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Jason watched me through half-closed eyes as I swallowed two pills. A smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. I grinned back as I rolled the bottle across the table to him. He scooped up the bottle and shook out two pills for himself, still watching me with intent blue eyes. I laughed and asked him what he was gawking at. Shrugging, he said, "You." I nodded like he had said something incredibly profound. 2
Glancing at the clock on the microwave, I scooted my chair back from the table and made a beeline for the cupboard by the sink. I heard him say, "Tsk-tsk," and I shook my head and smiled. He liked to tease me. Everyday at six, I inevitably made my way into the kitchen to dig my bottle of whiskey out of the cupboard. He'd laugh and say, "Until I met you, I never knew a drunk that worked on a timer." I would tell him to shut up as I smiled over the rim of my glass. He'd stand in the doorway, wink and roll his eyes as he held out his hand for the bottle. I'd pass it to him, watching his slender fingers close around the neck of the bottle. My eyes would follow the path it made up to his wide, generous mouth. I'd always feel a mingled pang of desire for him and a greed for my whiskey as he tilted the bottle and drank the dark brown liquid. 3
This evening was no different. I grabbed my bottle, hungry for that first sip of sanity. As always, Jason watched me, long blonde lashes casting shadows on his cheeks. That same hunger danced in his eyes. I poured myself a glass full and walked back to the table, the bottle swinging by my side. The sound of the sloshing liquid was like music, a song I waited to hear every evening. I plopped down and placed the whiskey neatly in the center of the table with the label facing me. I waited for him to reach for it. Never one to disappoint me, he leaned forward and pulled the liquor to him. With a theatrical flourish that made me giggle, he turned the bottle up and chugged from it. When he was sated, he sat the bottle down with a thump. "We're almost out," he said. "Wanna run to town with me and grab another bottle?"4
I nodded, choosing not to tell him about the other fifth I had stashed under the sofa. "Let me get my jacket. I'll meet you at the car.," I told him. 5
"Nah, I'll wait right here.," he said, "I like to watch your ass when you walk."6
"Pig!," I spat at him, not really caring at all. I felt the warmth from the booze starting to soak into my veins. The pills were doing their job, too. My muscles felt loose and relaxed, a condition so rare and alien that it startled me. I loved when Jason brought me what I called candy. It was always such a treat.7
As we were making our way out the door he muttered, "Just a sec." and went back into the house. I stood on the porch, watching the stars twinkle above me, oblivious to the late December cold seeping through my skin. After a moment, Jason returned, brandishing the bottle with a triumphant grin. 8
"Ahhh, I knew I forgot something.," I said as I snatched the bottle out his hand. I walked to the car ignoring his protests at me for taking "our" toy.9
Laughing, I turned to him with a smile and simply said, "You drive, I'll drink." 10
The indignant look he gave me told me I had won that round. He knew me well enough to know that I would share with him. Just not a lot. He followed me down the walk, studying the sky just as I had a few minutes ago. 11
"Do you ever think that the stars blot out the sky?," he asked as he opened the driver's side door. 12
"Sometimes I think the stars smother the moon," I replied. "But they leave the sky perfectly accessible." I sat down, shivering at the chill of the leather seats. "Can we go now?"13
"Yeah, we can go. No worries.," he said, casting a sidelong glance at the bottle between my thighs. 14
As we cruised down the highway towards town, taking in the nonexistent scenery of fields and Holstein cows, I finally relented. I passed him the Jack. He rewarded me with one his brilliant smiles that made relinquishing my prize worthwhile. He had the kind of smile that transformed his whole face. When Jason smiled I was compelled to smile in return. He was beautiful when he smiled. 15
Half drunk and buzzed on muscle relaxers, everything felt like it was moving in slow motion. It seemed an eternity before we made it to the store. I informed him that I'd sit there while he fetched the rest of the evening's sustenance. 16
He shrugged and got out of the car. My head lolled back against the seat and I giggled at the absurd notion that I was going to turn into a puddle and slide onto the floor. It seemed a pleasant thought at the time, though normally I would have been appalled at such a notion. Amazing what wonders a little alcohol and illegally used prescription drugs could work for a mild case of insanity such as mine. 17
When Jason came back, he waved the new bottle of whiskey and smiled. "We're set," he said. 18
"Then let us leave this silly place.," I drawled in my best Monty Python imitation, airily waving my hand in an "onward, Jeeves" motion. 19
As we left the parking lot, the impulse to kiss him seized me. Laughing like a madwoman, I yelled for him to stop the car. My head was spinning as he slammed on the brakes. "What's wrong?" he asked, with a worried crease in his brow. 20
"Not a goddamn thing my dear boy.," I answered as I yanked him to me by his shirt, still giggling. I smacked him on the mouth, pressing against him roughly for a brief second then pushing him away.21
He chuckled softly as he put the car back in gear. We headed home in earnest then. All the way home I swore not to make anymore sudden outbursts. I was dimly aware that I sounded like a broken record, but I didn't mind and neither did Jason. By the time we pulled into the drive I had finished the first bottle with very little help from Jason. 22
However, we were already waxing on the new addition, both of us plowing through it quite nicely. He stopped the car, put it in park and we both simply sat there. He ran his hand through his short, pale blonde hair and stared at the steering wheel. He took another drink and then passed it back to me. 23
After a drink and a brief silence, I slurrily inquired if he wanted to go inside. He nodded his head slightly. Then he opened his door and stepped out of the vehicle. I was still fumbling with my door handle when he yanked it open for me and pulled me out. With a yelp of surprise I tumbled out of the car and into him. We both fell into a tangled heap on the ground. Out of breath, we broke into drunken laughter. 24
"Oh dear, I think you have mussed my hair.," I joked as I began the laborious and clumsy task of picking myself up. 25
He just watched me, his eyes scanning me, glinting in the dim light. I managed the task of righting myself and I looked down at him, asking if he would like to join me in the Land of Vertical. After another uproar of laughter he kicked and squirmed his way to his feet as well. Still amused at our sloppiness, we made our way into the house. 26
Without turning on any lights, we blundered our way to the living room and came to a halt at the sofa. We planted ourselves there and sat quietly in the dark, holding hands like a couple of juveniles. Jason laid his head on my shoulder and before I knew it, his breathing became deep and regular. I lit a cigarette and stared into the dark, listening to him breathe into my hair. His hand still clasped in mine. I took one more slug of Jack and leaned my head against Jason's. I passed out with the lit cigarette between my fingers and Jason's warmth against me.27
Author notes
This is fiction.
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Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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nicely written! I tend to look for errors in another persons fiction (as I do in mine) but I found nothing. that doesn't mean there IS nothing, just that I didn't see anything. you're building the characters excellently. I would say the plot leaves a bit to be desired but I don't think you've gotten to that part yet. the build-up is perfect and I truly hope you post any other parts of this that you write. you're a very talented writer and the two-line description of this doesn't do it justice. not too wordy yet vivid and detailed. there were jumps from here to there, like from the car to the couch, but I see that as writers license as no writer ever describes every instant to every scene. please let me know if you ever continue this. I'd be happy to read it.
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As is usual with your work, I have to read it one day...and another...and then finally come back to leave my thoughts. Ah...the practical one in me sees a lit cigarette in her hand and envisions a very ugly end to this piece.
The poetic soul see a very wonderful piece of writing. Story flows with humor and visual glimpses that bring me in for a personal look.
I like the look at her ass..though in my story, I'd be looking at his ass.
Has a sweet romantic feel to it actually...makes me want to curl up with someone.
very nice!
Mary Ann -
I will have to get back to this when I have more time.
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I have heard of drunks on Timers. I knew one on a food timer. Wouldn’t drink after dinner, for some strange reason. Consequently, it was often quite late when that family ate.
“He rewarded me with one his brilliant smiles that made relinquishing my prize worthwhile.” Your wording is smooth, readable. I think this is the start of the bigger more that a novel might have. I think you have it in you.
This feels only like the start, the setting the scene, but it speaks to me in pictures about the story to come and gets me all intrigued. Plus, the characters are darling, the Monty Python, the intricate play of emotions in pictures of words, and hands, and lips.
So, yah, me thinks you should write more of this.
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oh yeah. very very nice revision. a very smooth and enchanting story!
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Wow, I really liked this!!! I hope that you write part two soon too. I thought it was really good, and very visual. I wish I could write like you. But yeah, anyways, that's it. It's a good write.
~*elwoodeyes*~ -
beautiful story than many could relate too. the thing about the stars was awesome. so simple but very deep.
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Damn hun! I don't know what to say besides this is one hell of a story you've got going here. I too shall be waiting for the second part. I'm just like this
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I do think that you could write a novel, given the proper motivation and a heavy dose of patience. Outstanding work, as always. Gotta love those blond boys... adrian
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Man...I dunno...
I mean, I can read this and follow along perfectly without teasing each word apart for contextual meaning and it's a different experience, eh?
Well told. Kind of a laid-back "Fear and Loathing" without Las Vegas or much loathing. You've got an edge going, but, again, not razor sharp and cutting. This is damn near pure romance with a bit of whiskey as a bit player.
Is good. Clarity of feeling not befuddled...but that lit cigarette bothers me a bit...I mean - geez...that's gonna hurt in the morning. -
I really like this little vignette and I say it can stand alone without adding a part two. it hones in on a moment in a relationship that is intimate and insightful. I love the way it ends.
I think you can improve this story with a re-write, editing out a few unnecessary "filler" words and perhaps tightening up by chopping a detail or a repetitive theme here and there. but there are some wonderful visuals and images here that bring the story and the characters to life. I think the opening paragraph is outstanding!
a very nice write. I enjoy reading your prose almost as much as I enjoy reading your poetry. and I don't have to work my way through the poetic metaphors. LOL
a good write. -
this still makes me giggle.
N... -
Ooh this was worth all the stress it caused you,
I like how you made alcoholism so very romantic, and fun and it all worked so well, im not entirely sure if i've read you before this moment but this is fantastic.
I see jason dying at the end.
Is that bad?
no its good i thought about these things
Te gusto mucho senorita (god im so pretentious)
Jadey xXxXx
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the length and torpor of the descriptions of the bottle, and the drinking of whiskey does mimic the effect of being drunk and on muscle relaxers, but is, in my opinion, a trifle overdone. The story seems to chug a bit in places, and i can't help but want it to develop more quickly... this on my initial read.
the end of this is superb, and nicely open-ended as well as skillfully understated, like the whole piece. I would replace some of the descriptions of drinking with some more quick character development, nothing too elaborate...a word or two here and there.
again, this is after one read...but i would say that roughly half of the actual drinking descriptions would suffice to portray the mood created by excess...and you do it well enough that i think a little restraint would only enhance the piece overall.
An enjoyable read...that leaves me wanting to know more.
Edited on May 11, 12:03 because ''. -
I'm so glad you have finally posted this.. I am so looking forward to part2 now.. as you know..my patience is not good at times.. so when.. is it coming??? roflmao
I'm glad I got to proof read it first on yahoo.. I like the way you've laid it out too.. and cool background..
Jason has something in store for him..doesn't he?? 
I can see this developing into a fine story.. or even a book too..
It's a great read hun..
~GILL~xxx
Edited on May 11, 11:46 because ''. -
Wow..... this is really quite amazing. It is such a detail account of this particular evening I feel as if I were there sitting in the back seat of the car watching/listening. It seems as if it would be so real, but then again I doubt anyone who experienced this would be aware enough to remember the details such as you have. Again I say WOW this was Fantastic!
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