Patricia Pumpkin-eater, wife of Peter Pumpkin-eater, filed for divorce in the district court of Fairyland today citing physical and emotional cruelty for her grounds1
"He kept me in a pumpkin shell!" stated Mrs. Pumpkin-eater in a press conference in which she called her husband "The mere shell of the man I married".2
Mrs. Pumpkin-eater described her ordeal; "The place was cramped beyond comparison, there were no lights, and the SMELL was to die from!"3
Peter Pumpkin-eater denied his wife's claims, insisting "I kept her very well there!"4
by Rumplestiltskin5
Author notes
I hope the little old womans kids didn't have athletes foot
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