My dog is named Stimpy she has somewhat a strange past and her story tells other stories. I kind of love animals and no one in my neighborhood has tags, leashes, or working gates; so I ride around on my bike putting dogs in their yards and tallying the number of wild cats.
Well about two years ago I was doing my route when I almost crashed my bike into an old man that was chasing two black and white dogs. I noticed the man was tired so I asked him if he needed help. He was more than happy to hear me offer, but he thought that since I was a girl that I wouldn't want get dirty or work hard enough to catch the dogs and laughed as I chased the dogs up and down the street.
The dogs weren't afraid of me, but for some reason they didn't trust humans. In response to this action that I saw in the dogs' behavior, I asked the man if he did anything to them. The man said he didn't do anything to them, but about three days earlier he said a burgundy cadalliac threw the dogs out of the car window of the moving vehicle.
This alarmed me because the shorter dog was a pregnant female. It was after his statement that I realized that the dogs were afraid of fast movement as a result of being thrown out of the moving car. It was that moment when I ran home and grabbed a pack of polish sausages and took them to the dogs. The dogs wouldn't let me get near them; so I threw the polish sausages around them.
Until finally the girl dog was so hungry that she couldn't resist eating the polish sausages and I was able to catch her. When I started walking home I noticed the second dog, a boy dog, was following me home. He was her brother and her husband, I guess you could say, and he wasn't about to leave his partner.
When I brought the dogs home and fed/watered them; then I took them into our dog-less back yard. At about four that afternoon my mom got home from work, saw that I had brought home two dogs, and grounded me for two weeks.
She was going to call the pound on the dogs, but she noticed the girl was pregnant and knew the pound would put her down. She let me keep the two dogs; it worked for a while until the boy that was supposed to be Stimpy started to hump my dog that was supposed to be Ren. I never watched the cartoon so I didn't know Stimpy was the big one and Ren was the small one. So I called the girl Stimpy and the boy Ren.
We kept Stimpy and two months later she had two puppies. The first one looked like her and her brother and was stillborn. The second one was white with two black spots. We couldn't keep the puppy so we sold him at the swap meat for fifty dollars.
Today my dog Stimpy is a spoiled loving dog. Now she isn't fearful and loves people especially people with food. She knows how to beg, speak, sit, jump, roll over, and when she sleeps you would swear she was dead. She even has a special talent when she lays on her left side she snores louder than a tenor saxaphone on the B flat key. She is my gift from God.
Author notes
animal cruelty
A contest entry
- Easier than 2+2 by On.Cue.
300 points, ended March 31, 2007, 23 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
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Comments
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doggies!
Awwww I want a puppy! Too bad the forces in my life are preventing that from ever happening, ever.
I take it this is an autobiographical story? If so, there isn't much I can complain about, plot wise, because who am I to suggest editing the story of your life, you know? Heh.
If this is a made-up story, I would suggest making it slightly more cohesive. Was the main character's life made better by the addition of the puppy? The true hallmark of any story is a change in personality in the main character - or, at least, that's what all my writer teachers tell me, but whether or not they know what they're talking about remains to be seen.
Also, I was a bit confused by the end of the story - Did you have to get rid of the female dog after she had the puppies? Or did you only have two dogs (the wild dogs you lured home with sausage)? Because in one part you refer to having at least three dogs and in other parts you refer to having only two dogs. It's confusing.
Swap meat = swap meet. Because meat is what you eat and meet is what you do when you say hello to a stranger. ...Although wouldn't it be cool if there was a swap meet where people swapped meat? They would be like, "I'll trade you this T-bone steak for three chicken wings and a hotdog!" And then inevitably there would be vegetarians who would break in and try to convince people that tofu is much better for you than hamburgers and then there'd be all sorts of confusion and....
Okay, I'm totally off-topic.
This is a really good beginning of what could be a great story. I'd like to read more about the girl and how this animal-protection thing started. I mean, what's the point of tallying stray cats? Does she gather them up for the humane society? Why did she start doing this? What are her successes? Are there any people who don't want her doing this? Who's the antagonist in her story?
Yeah, okay, I think this review is becoming longer than the story, which...TACKY! Heh. Because I can't seem to stop typing, I'm applauding you to make up for it!
Rock on!
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Hmmm, I don't know what to say about this piece. I mean you included animal cruelty in there but only as a minor detail. I wanted the topic picked to be the entire plot of the story. Also, you were a little more than 450 words under the word limit so that's going to decrease your chances of placing by a lot.
Still, I didn't see any noticeable spelling/grammar mistakes in there so that's good. The one thing I'd suggest is to make the story flow more smoothly and naturally. When I was reading it, I felt like you were saying: I did this. I did that. Then this happened. Then this. -- I felt like you were stating what was going on instead of letting it flow and let the readers get the idea of whats going on.
Good job and thanks for enetering my contest =]
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