"Here – here. Sit up. Go slowly, now – Careful!"
"Agh!"
He had pushed him up to sit against the trunk of a tree, a little ways from the campfire but still close enough that the flickering orange light could flash across his pallid face. His left arm rested across his heaving chest, the fingers splayed across the sling that held his right arm.
"Are you alright now?"
The other man smiled at him from the other side of the flames where he had moved to tend to them.
"You were out for a long time. I was worried that you wouldn't…"
"I'm fine,"
The man against the tree put his head back and closed his eyes, still cradling the injured sword arm.
"Are you sure you're okay?"
He grunted in reply.
"My name is Kamejima Hiroto,"
The other man said nothing.
"What's your name?"
"Mizuki."
"That's it?"
The fingers of his injured hand twitched into a weak fist.
"That's all I'll let you know. You are my enemy, after all."
Hiroto sighed, poking at the fire.
"We are not on the battlefield. We need not be enemies here."
Mizuki did not answer.
He touched his arm again, almost able to feel the place where a rival sword had cleaved his shoulder nearly to the bone. That was the last thing he had remembered before he had come to, so when he saw another man with the same uniform standing over him…
He would always be an enemy to him, Mizuki realized, watching the other man around the fire, pulling out supplies from his pack to find some of the rations he had received before the battle had begun. Hiroto felt his intense gaze and met it with a smile. Mizuki's eyebrow raised and he turned away, lapsing into quiet.
Hiroto didn't quite know what he had expected, bringing one of those who had been deemed an enemy to his own camp. Gratefulness, perhaps? Certainly not the stoic silence from the man whose life he had just saved. No matter – he would do what he could to assist and hopefully Mizuki would be on his way. He honestly did not think that he would be so standoffish – even if their forces had just been trying to destroy each other hours before.
"Mizuki?"
He saw one eye open into a cruel glower.
"I have food. It's not much, but it's –"
"I would rather perish."
"That could be a very likely possibility,"
He was infuriating… how was Hiroto expected to heal the wounded who would not be helped?
"You have to eat, Mizuki. No matter what you think of me, your body needs it. You are injured and you need your strength."
"I need my rest."
"I will not force you, but if you do not, it is your own loss."
That cold, condescending glare was really the last thing that he needed that night.
"I didn't poison it, if that's what you're thinking," Hiroto tried his best to return the haughty expression, but didn't quite have the heart to snarl at an injured person. "I give you my word. Samurai's honour!"
"That means nothing to me. Especially not when it comes from the enemy."
"Enemy or no, we are both still Samurai, are we not?"
Mizuki turned away from his saviour for the umpteenth time that night, still holding his right arm and slumping against the tree.
They spent most of the evening quietly. Hiroto moved quietly about the camp, cleaning, praying and eventually practicing his swordsmanship against invisible opponents while Mizuki radiated tension. Occasionally he would watch his rescuer, partially jealous but mostly in awe as his katana sliced through the firelight. If he could fight like he had, he wouldn't be in this predicament.
"I can teach you."
Mizuki closed his eyes automatically, facing away from the other man.
"Who says I wanted to learn?"
"The expression on your face. The way you watched me."
The expression on his face turned sour.
"I did not watch you."
Hiroto smiled, still holding the sword.
"After you are healed, I will teach you what I know. It will help your arm become stronger as well."
"It's fine," he said quickly, "I don't need to."
Hiroto pawed through his pack until he uncovered a small strip of cloth. He sat and pulled it down the sword, away from the hilt and towards the point.
"You take care of your katana and it will take care of you. I will teach you that as well."
"You would teach the enemy?" he scoffed.
"There are no enemies here."
"Hm."
He stood to sheath his sword before turning again to Mizuki.
"Now – will you take first watch or will I?"
Mizuki's eyes hardened.
"I will not sleep with you on watch."
"You must sleep."
"I must do nothing, enemy."
"Mizuki –"
"If you are so certain that there are no enemies among us, /you/ sleep and /I/ will stand guard."
Hiroto sighed at his stubbornness. He had not eaten and he would not sleep; he would not heal either if he continued this absurdity.
"What if there are bandits?"
"Then there are bandits."
"You cannot fight them."
"Then I will call for you to fight."
"Fine."
Hiroto flopped onto the grass with his arm under his head, fidgeting into a comfortable position. He made a mental note to wake soon to watch over the camp; he was sure that Mizuki's endurance would not last the night, and in the even that he decided to nod off, he did not wish to leave the camp unguarded.
~~~
Hiroto felt Mizuki's eyes on him when he woke. He would have turned to face him but for the sunlight searing his vision – it was morning already? He had slept the whole night through, leaving the injured to keep watch.
"Oi, Mizuki…"
"Teach me."
He half-opened his eyes, watching the blurred form of the other samurai still cradling his arm against the tree.
"What?"
"I have two hands for a reason, Kamejima-san." He masked a smile with a sneer before continuing.
"Train with me, so that my left hand can become as strong as my right hand once was."
Hiroto raised an eyebrow.
"And how will you do that when you are too weak to even lift a sword?"
Mizuki stood, anger brightening his sickly pale face.
"Are you not good enough yourself to teach another?" He hid the struggle to advance towards him.
"Or perhaps you fear to teach the enemy?"
"There are no enemies here," Hiroto stood to catch the other man as he faltered.
"Besides, I fear more for your wellbeing than for my life."
"Do not touch –"
"You will eat tonight, you will sleep tonight, and I will teach you tomorrow."
"You would poison me tonight,"
"Then how would I teach you tomorrow?"
Mizuki ignored the man's smile.
However, that night he did eat, and that night he did sleep – though his first few hours of slumber were fitful under whom he had deemed the enemy's watch. After a while, he slept long and deep, restoring lost energy for the next morning's exercise.
The first time he lifted the sword with his left hand he almost fell over, still weak from his injury and somewhat unused to the weight. After a while he could lift the weapon, but his hand shook with the weight and his wrist threatened to give out on him.
"Your laughter betrays you, Kamejima-san…"
"Call me Hiroto, ne?"
Perhaps it was the presence of the opponent; perhaps it was the fact that Hiroto had found humor in his plight – either way, Mizuki was a faster learner than most of the samurai in his own league after they had lost the use of their dominant arm. No one had trained as hard as he did. Some had, in fact, given up and retired to a life of shame. Not Mizuki… he decided early on that he would be destined for a lifetime of strength and greatness… of loyalty and honour…
Samurai's honour.
Days, weeks, months passed and he fought – parrying and matching Hiroto's attacks blow for blow, no matter how glancing or stealthy he made them. He could see the other man growing proud of his student, and he could see himself gaining strength. When he returned home, he would be the most prized of all the samurai. His Daimyo would call upon him for the most important tasks. Others would gaze upon him with awe and envy as he fought and won, fought and won, fought and –
"Mizuki!"
The blade stopped just short of Hiroto's throat.
"Mizuki…"
Both of their chests heaved as they stood, time frozen until Hiroto let his katana fall with a thud to the ground.
"Mizuki… I can teach you no more."
The man stepped back and bowed.
~~~
His eyes wandered to the flame.
They had been hunting that day, bent on replenishing both of their supplies and securing a meal for that night. They had come back to prepare and pack supplies, dividing the meat into two and even having Hiroto give a few of his items to the other samurai. Mizuki had thanked him properly this time; no comments about blackmail or enemies were made this time, and for once, he remained civil.
Mizuki had propped himself up against the tree again, touching what had once been the wound on his arm. In its place was an unsightly scar roping across his lower shoulder and upper bicep.
"From the way you are so silent," Hiroto cooked meat over the fire, "One would think that you were not grateful."
"How could not I be grateful? You saved me. You rescued the enemy."
"I would hope we never become enemies," Hiroto laughed. "I do believe I've taught you well…"
"We will not be able to become enemies after tonight."
He did not ask him what he meant – he doubted he would hear him; his eyes had become lost in the flame again.
"Why do you fight?"
Hiroto started at his sudden words, but quickly recovered and answered.
"I fight for my friends. My family…" He shrugged. "My daimyo."
Flames danced across Mizuki's irises.
"I fight to survive. Only to survive… I have always fought and that is why I am here now…"
Hiroto sighed, watching the man and wondering what was so interesting about the fire.
"You can not fight all your life…"
"I can," Mizuki replied snippily; "And I must… I must do everything to survive. Because surviving is the most important thing, yes?"
He nodded in reply.
"You survive. You survive so that you can go back to the things you love."
"And if there is something that could keep you from surviving?"
Hiroto answered quickly – too quickly.
"Destroy it."
"Of course."
The silence was deafening, and the few seconds that it lasted went on forever.
"Yes. I am glad then," Hiroto said, "That I am not your enemy."
~~~
It was the middle of the night when the shadow rose from the tree.
The campsite was lit only by the glowing remnants of the campfire, but was still traversed easily.
It was not long before all the supplies were packed – wrapped into the bag from whence they came and tied tightly with a katana.
Mizuki stepped over the other's sleeping figure, the faintest traces of a smirk evident on his face in the moonless night. His own katana was gripped tightly in his right hand and poised unsteadily over Hiroto's throat.
"You gave me my life; now I leave you with yours, Kamejima-san," he whispered into the pitch-dark night, sword shaking; "I will let you live. My enemy..."
His katana slid into its sheath with the cold hiss of metal, and he hefted the supplies onto his left shoulder.
"Samurai's honour,"
Mizuki turned from the slumbering man and began his long trek home.
Author notes
So… rushed…
*seppaku*
The twins were barking at me while I wrote this.
I want to become stronger too! Mizuki-kun, Tasukete!
For some strange reason, I always imagine Mizuki with red hair. Or light brown. I had a story concept with a 'Mizuki' in it, and he was a red head, but that was an entirely different context. Perhaps I will write that story with the other Mizuki. But as far as this goes, Mizu-kun has black hair. I think. –___–;;
- Anime and Manga group list • next in list
A contest entry
- Japanese samurai story contest by SlickNick.
175 points, ended March 3, 2007, 9 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - HUGE POINTS!!! by beezy92.
1175 points, ended April 22, 2007, 38 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Leave me wanting more... by Kevan.
160 points, ended April 25, 2007, 14 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - If you're NOT from America! by Taylor Renee.
225 points, ended August 8, 2007, 33 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - The Day Long Contest by Ninja Bubble.
100 points, ended January 26, 2008, 13 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 24 of 24
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wah awesome! XD sugoi desu ne? haaah, I'm trying to write smthg bout samurais too but it ain't turning out so well for me. -__- Mind helpin me out? Since you've got experience I'd like feedback from you, if possible that is, on my latest story, KISSING THE EDGE. Onegai? >.<;
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Absoultle amazing!
If you were rushed when you wrote this I wonder what you could do if you weren't this is by far the best samurai story that I have read. you obviouly knew what you were doing or you did reseach absoulty loved it!
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Nice
I liked this story. I felt like there was something missing from it, but if I could tell you what it was, it wouldn't truly be missing would it? It just felt incomplete, and in your notes I notice you said that you wrote it quickly. I know that didn't help much.
There is one point where I could no longer tell who was talking, and I got really confused about seventy five percent through when you started talking about how he could teach him to use his left, just as well as he could use his right.
Now, you said his arm was in a sling; does that mean that Mizuki's arm was cut off, or just severely injured? You said something about his left arm as well as his right, and reading this back even now, I am not exactly sure what you meant by this.
And if Hiroto was wearing a different uniform, the uniform of the enemy, I kind of wanted you to explain what the uniform was.
I was reading other comments, and I actually really like the fact that you do not use good and evil in your stories. I truly believe there are no evil people, only evil acts. We are all good, and we all evil, just depends on the day.
Bottom line: I really liked this story, and think it would have made a nice chapter in the middle of a story, but also works just as well as a short story itself. Your style is fluid, and easy to read. Nice work.
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Loved it to every single little aspect! Not to mention my love for japan and katana, but it was also the grammar and spelling! There was only one problem I found though... I, as a ninja, hate samurai. But don't worry *Holds katana behind back* Now come and give me a big hug
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a really good story! i love this kind of story and yours is one of the best! correct me if I'm
wrong but i think there's a message in there.
Good job!
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Thank you~
by the way, that user icon is the funniest/strangest thing I've seen all day...
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very good
I enjoyed your story it was well written , I wan't to know what happens next. keep up the good work.
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I have to agree with everyone else. This was very well written and you've done a great job. Good luck.
Kari -
This was very well written. The dialogue was catchy and thought provoking. The characters were really strong and honorable. The friendship that they built in the end was really neat. The older man was not bitter about anything and I really liked him. You developed the younger man's character in a good way, pushing aside his pride to finally be helped, and to learn something from the older and wiser. The ending was excellent, he could have just left and the end would have been boring and very ordinary. But he was faced with a decision and he learned to forgive. Only one thing that confused me was the beginning, I wasn't always sure whose point of view it was, but that wasn't too distracting, and I caught on to whose point of view it was. This was a very honorable and cool story!
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So well done!
How well you set the scene at the start. It helps to be a fan of the samurai and that period of time, but I have followed this for years. On a different note: "His" was used a number of times in two sentences in third paragraph. The hate seemed a bit forced toward the end. What a great ending; there is no way the deep-seated emotion of distrust and hatred would leave, therefore the sparing of life in honor was a super touch. A nice read.
beginning: 4, language: 4, plot: 4, ending: 5, dialog: 4, characters: 4.
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Oh... yes. I see. It _does_ seem that I used 'his' about a million times in paragraph three.
How do you mean the hatred was forced? Just wondering.
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Good story
Your writing is excellent. You kept the story moving. I think you could keep it going with another episode
beginning: 4, language: 3, plot: 5, ending: 4, dialog: 4, characters: 4.
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Very well done!
You won an award and have good comments, dunno why you need another view...but then, since I write...I already know the answer to that.
Still and bit of a conflict in your mind about creating a real protagonist and antagonist, you seem driven to erase good and bad and have them meet somewhere in the greyness of compromise and that bothers me, just a tad.
An excellent story, told well and again the mechanics are all in place.
Please do not misunderstand...I like this story, much better than the first one I read, and again, I felt you were limited by the contest parameters and by the length, this could easily be a 100,000 word novel, if you so chose.
Going to try to keep track of your writing, remind me from time to time please...and a second thing...I started a story, although an erotic one, several months ago about a troupe of Japanese school girls touring and staying at a hotel over on the Oregon coast.
I did not small amount of research to learn enough to try to write a readable story when the girls spoke no english and the hotel desk clerk, the main male character, spoke no japanese.
Should we ever get acquainted and if you are of an age and an interest in more adult themes, evenn if not, I would love to discuss some words and phrases with you...assuming you are familiar with the language.
sorry this went on so long...long forward to reading more of your work.
amicus
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Define familiar. More like... I watch anime so I pick up on some interesting stuff... If you need anything concerning Japanese, though, I'll try my best to help!
Antagonist and protagonist? Woever said I needed those? *laugh*
There's never a line between good and evil. I find that good and evil are categories that people have sorted the world further into so it can make sense. Me personally? I think that the best character is one with no affiliations; who only does what it wants and can live with no regrets. What's life with regrets?
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This is sooooo good, you deserved to win that contest. I'm glad I read this.
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Great story!
This was very well written and engaging from beginning to end. yes, i do agree it is a bit rushed, but you managed to get the story down and across. You also did a great job of conveying the characters across without too much description.
Well done!
beginning: 4, language: 4, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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This was good, I liked the way you structured it... in exchange i take away 4 suns... that leaves you with 996 suns to extinguish...
The name were interseting, and i like the way you made them so alike, and yet so different...
keep up the good work
Luv MDH
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Only 996? Thank you...? Well... Yes. I am glad you liked it. Thank you for reading!
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Excellent story; your dialogue is top-notch and, for me, was the best tool you employed for transmitting the characters' emotions. I would have loved a little more description of the settings since Japan is such a beautiful place. But oh well, can't have everything. Even so, very good entry! Good luck.
Nick
beginning: 4, language: 4, plot: 4, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 4.
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No... we cannot. I was thinking of drawing it out more, though... eventually. And have Hiro-kun talk about his homeland. And how great it is. Just to make people more sorry for him after he's abandoned!
Can't believe I won silver... Underestimated myself...
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Holy cow, this was a good entry. In fact, I love it a lot, and I think it's great.
There were very few grammatical errors, so I congratulate you!
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Thank you for reading! I worked relitavely hard on this... Could you bother to tell me where I messed up with the grammar?
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