I don’t think you’re listening to me.
You tell me that you are,
I know you’re not.
Even if you are listening,
During one of those rare times,
I know that you’re not listening to me
The way I want you to.
The only chance for me
To get you to listen
Is to finally give in
To tell you the truth
I can’t
I’m afraid
Terrified
I’m frail
Dying
I’m cowardly
Spineless
Teach me
About being fearless
Show me
How to live life
Give me
Courage to survive
Remind me
Why I love you
Author notes
Okay, here it is... my second poem ever!! XD
Some things are just way better to say in a poem.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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ahan......i think ur write....its just that poems have a beauty of their own.....
i liked this....this says some very meaningful things...and its got a lot of emotion.....the thing that u wanna say....its very clear....
this was quite gud.....
CRITICISM
a poem is a poem, full of loving words and sentences where u can just sink into thought......what ur poem lacked was a little bit of thought.....
Here im talking about the first two paras.....as compared to those below...they are just one thing.....u just said it bluntly over there without any poetic expression..........
um....yea....well thaz all from me......
i mean its a very gud poem.....but it can be improved.....just strive from excellence to perfection!!!!
all in all a gud read!!
CHEERS!!! -
Yes true some things can be better said in a poem or in any art form really.
Great work
Lady Madeline -
So true...
and I don't even know why it is but it is...poems, in some aspects, are better than things like letters or stories...they tell a story of their own quite beautifully. I like this poem very much. It's something I'm going through at the moment and at the end of it I was like " THAT'S RIGHT, YOU JERK, REMIND ME WHY I LOVE YOU DARN IT!" lol enough of the histrionics. Good job on the poem. -
You're right.
Some things are better said in a poem, and I think you just proved that. Great job.
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I love how you mixed long lines with short lines - the transition from long stanzas to short ones emphasized the downward shift in the mood of the persona.. (or well, that's what I think
)
Sometimes, love just.. changes. Because change IS the only constant thing in this world. We need to try to stand amidst the changes.... and not drown in whatever life bombards us
but it is so hard, especially if the heart is the one at risk. Love is both pain and pleasure unrequited love borders more on pain, I think... wah...
sory for the rant x.x and thank you for sharing this with us!
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Wow, I liked it a lot. Great job, keep up the good work. I'm sure you have a lot more great poems to come.
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Wow...it was beautiful. Keep writing!
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