Disturbance at local sorority house leads to arrest

Photo by Jack Sprat:  Porgy sleeping in his jail cell after the incident.1

A disturbance on Elm Street this afternoon brought police to the rescue of some sorority girls at the Sigma Chi house when a frantic call summoned them to the site.  One Georgy Porgy of the frat house next door was arrested at the scene and several young women were rushed to the hospital in hysterics.2

"He kissed me! and made me cry", a victim sobbed who chose not to be identified, but sources close to the staff at Sigma Chi told reporters that it was Little Miss Muffet, a transfer from Berkeley.3

"Me too," 12 other girls sobbed in unison, knocking down this reporter who was sitting in a corner when the melee started.  4

The Dean of Women, Mistress Mary Contrary released this statement to the press from her office immediately after the event:5

"We are trying to educate young women for a possible Iraqi take-over.  They live very sheltered lives, and we cannot condone such behavior by unrestrained males of the opposite sex."6

Mr. Porgy's attorney laughed when asked about the incident citing his client's recent research into the behavior of sorority girls in April as a possible motive for his client's behavior and adding that he would be out on bail as soon as the Hickory Dickory Dock clock on the campus square struck one. 7

Jack Horner8

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Comments


  • HammeR
    December 14, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    I knew those girls where up to no good. I bet Georgy Porgy was framed as a part of the rush week when all the pranks are pulled by the local sororities and fraternaties. I have seen this Mr. Porgy before and he doesnt look the sort to make all this fuss and trouble. Anywho, I was in the neighborhood and thought I would interject my two cents........clink, clink.
    To be young again and pull all those crazy stunts, wouldnt it be grand? This was delightfully funny and I enjoyed it too much.....lol, thanx for sharing it with us and take care.

  • Carole Dudley
    May 10, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    Thanks, L.W., Your contest was the most fun I've had in ages. What a great idea!

  • Onyx Dragon
    May 10, 2004
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    haha this was great as well love the throw in about iraq Great job.


  • wheezyanna
    May 10, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    Are you having fun or what.
    Love the photo.
    Edited on May 10, 6:22 because 'picture just came up.'.