so weird it doesn't deserve a title

Girl 2 (Casey):

You know what?

Girl 1 (Me):

What?

Girl 2 (Casey):

I do this only for your benefit! You don=t know how much you ruined my life that night. I thought that Alex and I had the perfect relationship. I had no idea that you could be so low! I guess I didn=t want you to get hurt the way I did, but...I guess that wasn=t really necessary. All that worrying was for nothing if you were the one that hurt me.

Girl 1 (Me):

You were the one that was so incredibly blind that you couldn=t see how much I was having fun. For the first time in my life!!!

Girl 2 (Casey):

You know what, bitch? I called to say sorry. I guess I didn=t really mean it.

Girl 1 (Me):

Excuse me, Casey! Did you just call me a bitch? I don=t take that from crap like you.

Casey:

Look, I really don=t like yelling at you, but if it=s the only way to get through to you, then I have to. Do you remember when we first met? You were combing out a totally impossible knot?

Me [(sniffle)]:

Yeah, and you said >That knot=s not gonna come out if only you brush it.=

Casey:

Right. Then you said >and what are you going to do about it?= I remember.

Me [smiles reminiscently]:

Wasn=t that when we became best friends?

Casey:

Yeah. See how fast we can calm down together? I hope Alex and you are doing okay. I called because I=m getting married at the end of the year. I wanted you to be the maid of honor.

Me:

Oh my GOD! When did you pick up this guy?

Casey:

The whole time that I was dating Alex, actually.

Me:

But isn=t that like cheating?

Casey:

Look, I only told you because you are my best friend. He didn=t really want me to tell you, but I wanted to. He said that I could as long as I didn=t tell you who he is.

Me [getting excited]:

Casey! Get over here! Right now!

{at My house}

Me:

Come on, Casey! Just a little hint. Or a clue. Something! I=m desperate here.

Casey:

No! No! No! He said I couldn=t. And you of all people should know that I don=t usually take orders from the male species. So this has to be pretty special, right?

Me:

Well, yeah. I guess. But why can=t you tell me?

Casey:

Because it would jeopardize him, his career, and our relationship. Here=s a hint: you know him.

Me [Gentle sarcasm]:

Yeah, that really puts everything into perspective for me.

Casey [sigh]:

Really, but I really wanted you to be the maid of honor. Please say you will, Jesse. For me. Do you really want another hint.

Me:

Yes!

Casey:

Sanaa would be so mad at me. Keep in mind that we=re 12th graders. So it isn=t that bad.

Me [gasp. Looks absolutely scandalized, then grins broadly]:

No! Seriously? It is that bad! Jeez! Since when?

Casey [dreamy-like. Far away look in her eyes.]:

Start of the year, actually. He reached over and wrote on one of my repots and asked me out. I was like Awhoa, maybe a little to homey@ but he=s been so good to me and all. I don=t know I kind of couldn=t help it. It happens that way, honey.

Me:

Oh, wo-! How-! Wow. You=re not lying?

Casey:

Have I ever lied to you about the important stuff? I=m dead serious!

Me:

When is it?

Casey:

Summer. We decided that we would wait until I had finished school first.

Me:

Have you - wait. When are you going to let your parents know about this?

Casey:

Hopefully not until the day of or a few days before the ceremony. That way they won=t be able to reject the idea. Then we=re home free, see?

Me:

Yeah...

Casey:

Yeah what?

Me:

There=s gotta be a catch somewhere. I mean-.

Casey:

Well, I - we, that is - were kinda hoping that you would help pay for the honeymoon. I know that you=re gonna hate me for the rest of our lives, but we really need you right now. Please?

Me:

You know I have collage to think about and then I want to become a heart surgeon and...

Casey [pleading]:

C=mon, please. I really wanted to have a real wedding with my mom helping me with the bridal shopping and my dad giving me away, but it turns out that that=s not the way things are going to happen. You have to come bridal shopping with me and guess who we=re getting to give me away!

Me:

Alex.

Casey [mock horror]:

Of course not! He=s the best man!

Me:

Very funny. Well, I have no clue then.

Casey:

Jake.

Me [scream of delighted surprise]:

No! Really!?!

Casey:

Yeah, that=s what I said when he told me!

Me:

He made the arrangement? God, he is so funny!

Casey:

I wanted to show you some of the bridal dress choices.

Me:

Bring it on! [giggles]

Casey [passing Me the pictures as she talks]:

There=s this one. I like the tiara that goes with it. Then their=s this one. I=d die for the skirt! And, so far, their=s this one. I like this one for its [reads the caption] slender yet boldly revealing style with a sliming appearance.

Me:

Definitely the last one.

Casey:

You think?

Me:

My real concern is what the brides maids are wearing!

Casey:

I liked these. [Again shows as talks] this is pastel purple. See? That looks just like the wedding dress you said you liked. I really think that this is it.

Me:

What about the ring?

Casey:

You always get to the important stuff don=t you? Well, he is getting the ring and is going to surprise me on the wedding day!

Me [skeptical]:

Could you ask him to show it to me first? I won=t tell, but I want to make sure it isn=t hideous.

Casey:

He wouldn=t get something hideous would he? That=s probably a good idea. Yeah, I=ll ask him to do that.