What it's like to stand in the rain and wait for the bus for twenty-one minutes

There's a flaw in the right heel's sole, a dipping space my right side protests to. First I notice the ice. Rinks aren't good for walking. I wear, then wet and sloppy, grey slacks. New fancy soggy leather church shoes. I didn't want the shoes returned to Walmart, all right so they're not one-hundred dollars or anything like that, mum wrapped them for my birthday. They’re flawed but they’re cheap, and they look nice enough. Returns are a hassle. They are not built for water nor I discover for skating.

I chose a slide-feet-skating method, stupidly, to the bus stop. It was a despondent moment for the godly first day of Lent that February 25, 2007. I could say I slip-slide forever to arrive there, but that would be a lie -- it couldn't have been more than an hundred metres and I've walked further.

Am I convinced that my quick departure into the air, followed left knee body slam to the cruel Tecumseh, Windsor sidewalk across from the flower shop, hmmm should I buy that girl flowers, no God is punishing me, I’m falling, that's why my left leg is slightly wetter, only slightly, is all due to the lack of sole in my right shoe? Absolutely. I was coming from church. The right knee was killing me yesterday, and I don't know what I did to it. I suppose each knee has its turn.

I’m sorry about that run-on sentence. I’m sorry about a lot of things. I’m sorry God created rain. I’m sorry I rushed to the bus spot to wait for twenty-one minutes in the rain. I’m sorry your cat died. I did not mean to suggest you let it out on purpose to go get hit by a car. Nor do I think its death was your fault. I wonder how a cat walks on ice? Like a polar bear? Are polar bears more like cats or dogs? Would they slip-fall so easily or claw tiptoe in style? Ducks are flatfooted, so how do they walk on ice? Or penguins? Is it by instinct they waddle? If you raised a penguin in your grassy backyard could its gait become quite human? Then would it fall as easily as one of us on ice?

My fall, I foresaw like a fool and checked to make sure the inner id got its way – actively participating in stupid action for the sake of playful desire. Ended, my ambitious inner child with a concrete smack to my rear, disciplined I scaled the scale of ice to the icier post posting yellow picture of said bus to come. I froze to the ground. Really, my left foo— Man! What is with the whole left leg getting picked on today? Anyways, we froze: the ground and I for twenty-one minutes. In the rain. But I, remember, came from church, "Glory Glory Alleluia" ringing in my jaw. I want to say the twenty-first minute was the worst, yet yellow lights running:

1C CROSSTOWN

FOREST GLADE

heading an expanding-wiggling cracker box to my position gives hope. God likes me again. "Bus I love you," I say then think. I hop on sit down. Fabulously crunch into gooey sunflower surprise with my right sole, change seats rather than investigate the pile for smells, and wonder: how long will these shoes last?