Autumn Past

I’m leaving now. Though the question is, where can I go? All that remains are the clothes on my back. I found Sara among the rubble, but I couldn’t find Philipp. Sara said she saw the back porch fall on him. My throat tightened and I could hardly swallow. What’s the world coming to, that innocent children die from a stray mortar? Where are we going, Sophie? she had asked. I don’t know, I had answered. She tried to smile up at me, though I could tell she was in pain. I smoothed the hair back from her face; it was such a bloody mess. I cried softly, my tears falling on her dirty face. Beginning to sob, I held her in my arms, my dress stained with her blood. I watched her die. My brother and sister are now gone from this place. What am I ever to do?

I’m so sick of this war. I let myself get lost in thoughts of past happiness. One year ago I was with Lukas; I had more happiness than ever before. Oh Lukas. We had only been married two years when Hitler came and snared most of Germany with his smooth talking. Lukas was always wary of what he heard. Lukas meant everything to me. We had met in school about an hour north of here. He sat behind me in morning literature. He’d lean forward ever so silently, reach out with long fingers and pull my hair. I couldn’t make a sound lest we both be scolded. He brought me flowers with strong, sweet aromas; wrote me letters and lines of poetry. We were wed not long after school was finished.

And then the war came. I feared that he would be carried off to struggle for his life in some dirty hole. The leaves began to change. The gold’s and oranges of autumn crept into the green of summer. The air was thick with the smell of the season changing. They came for him. I had one last night with him. We held each other close until the sun rose over the hills. I’ll love you forever, Sophie; until the day my heart no longer beats, he had whispered to me. I cried when he left. At the end of the lane, the autumnal colors ablaze, he turned one last time to wave at me.

Now I walk down that lane toward town. I don’t even know if there still is a town left to walk to. The trees stand barren around me. The lane is changed; the country in ruins, the continent falling apart at the seams. The trees are dead, some horrifically disfigured from gun fire. The ground lies in a state of disarray, holes scattered as far as the eye can see. I have to climb over a fallen tree in the lane to even make it to town. What good could this war ever bring? I have nothing left, no one to cling to. Hunger rumbles deep in my belly. I condemn this war to hell. It has solved none of our problems. Lukas knew not to trust this country. We are so easily trapped by words and false promises of well being. The sun dims, the sky darkens with on coming rain. All hope has left my mind. I’m leaving now…