Better

“I never wanted to hurt you,” I cried, hugging her lifeless body to my chest.

I looked down at my twin, her mouth contorted in fear, face pale, eyes gazing off into another world.

“I just meant to scare you,” I whispered apologetically, “I never meant to hurt you. Never.”

I almost expected her to respond. She didn’t.

“You were always better than me. At everything,” I said, taking a deep breath, “At sports, a school, at everything. And,” I continued, “I was older. Only by a couple minutes, but still. Everyone thought of me as older. I was supposed to be smarter, faster, stronger,” I paused, “I was supposed to be better. But,” I choked out the words, “You were. You were so much better.”

Katie lay limp in my arms, unforgiving.

“I’m so, so, sorry,” I moaned, throwing her body into the lake where it would be found the next day. It would be said that she had been swimming when she hit her head on one of the many boulders. Her death would be ruled accidental. I would never forgive myself.

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 14 of 14

  • Midnight-Engaged
    October 12, 2007
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    Well, I certainly didn't expect this. The background matches really well, and this is so sad...there is nothing like losing a twin because of the connection they hold. I'm hoping for more, this is the kind of thing thatI would read as an intro and then look forward to the rest of the book!


  • Pray For Me
    March 24, 2007
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    Wow. She killed her sister. Excellent story.


  • Taylor Renee
    March 4, 2007
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    i still absolutely love this!!!


  • Corey Bgwriter
    March 1, 2007
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    wow kind of scary very interesting and someone wrote something just like that in my c w clas


  • kelseyo
    February 26, 2007

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    Whoa whoa whoa. Dead twin! Nice job. I really liked your emotion the whole way through. Good luck in my contest.
    xoxo
    Kelsey


  • ChorusQueen11
    February 26, 2007
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    woah this is deep. Good job!

  • Daoine
    February 25, 2007

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    Excellent

    I feel that the twin murder theme is about identity crisis and how twins are sometimes compared to each other and expected to be off shoots of the each other and have no separate identity from the other sibling.

    The story is wonderful and leaves the reader guessing at what went down...was it accidental or intentional? We'll never know, will we..hmmm.

  • Taylor Renee
    February 25, 2007

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    wow this was really great! i have a ?...how come people love writing about jealous twins killing their twins? ihave no problems with it, i like it, but who started that anyway!? lol but this was really great. i loved it and i think you made it seem a lot more realistic than some others ive read,so thats great. very nice job, loved it!!!

    Tay


    • travis34dietC
      February 25, 2007
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      thanks Tay


      yeah, i've noticed lots of stories like this one. that, and people cutting themselves. no idea where it started.
      glad you liked it


  • kkz2343
    February 25, 2007

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    OH MY GOSH!!!!! He scared her and she fellin and hit her head on the rocks!!!!!! That's what happened, right!?!?!? Oh My!!! Oh MY!!!!!I'm gonna have a heart attack!!!! That's so scary!!! I'm gonna go crazy!!!!! Somethings wrong with me today. *sigh* I don't think I'll recover. This is awesome in a very, very, very, very, very, very, very scary way. :

    • travis34dietC
      February 25, 2007
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      lol thanks..i think.
      first of all, the main charac is a girl (travis is the name of a band, not my name!).
      hmm..maybe SHE scared her and she fellin and hit her head on the rocks...we'll never know..mwahaha..


  • Drac
    February 25, 2007

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    wow!

    wow, I must say... Amazing!
    A good story to enter in the twin contest for sure
    A very good one also, sort of scary, while understandable. Good work!

    beginning: 4, language: 4, plot: 4, ending: 5, dialog: 4, characters: 5.

1 - 14 of 14