Marienda tried to remain calm as she stood in line with the others to show their registration number for the mating ritual. From there, she would wait until her male counterpart had registered, then wait again until their number was announced and a tent assigned. This could take up to one day, so she had that as a window to make it far enough away to elude anyone that might be sent to bring her back.1
She still did not know how she was going to accomplish it, but as she looked towards the mountains in the distance a plan started to formulate. It had to be timed just right, but it was plausible. She waited until the ritual announcements started, and all attention was on the words. She accidentally dropped her bag on the ground, bent over to pick it up and glanced behind her as she did. She made sure one of the Rules Enforcement officers was watching her, and she made a point of looking at the distance longer than she should have. The officer approached, and she was glad to see it was someone she did not recognize.2
“Is there some problem?” he asked with the air of someone in the first few months of what they thought was a wonderful job.3
“I thought I saw someone running over the horizon,” she replied with a flick of her hand. She looked around to be sure no one else was looking in that direction as she fished in her pack and took out her identification. She flashed it at the man, too quickly for him to read the name, but slow enough for it to register that she outranked him several times over. “I’m going to check it out.”4
He looked baffled for a few moments. “But you are in line for the ritual.”5
Marienda nodded. “I am, but neither my number or my mates number has been announced yet. It should take me two, three hours top to check it out and be back. I will give you my number, and if it is called, tell them that I am on official business.” She put some weariness in her voice. “After all, an enforcement officer's job never stops.”6
The man hesitated and she was afraid that he would decide to ether call it in, or go after the fictitious person himself. “Well…”7
“I can’t have you abandoning your position here,” Marienda said. She handed him a small envelope with a number on it. “I will be back in a few hours. The plains start after the horizon, I can see for a long distance, and spot the person.” She turned and started to walk towards the back of the line and freedom. She didn’t slow as she approached another Enforcement officer, and when he let her pass, tried not to show relief in knowing that the original officer had believed her story and had alerted others to what she was doing.8
It seemed to take forever for her to get to the top of the hill, and she could feel eyes on her the whole way. She made a show of looking across the plains, then walked out of site. She crouched behind a rock, quickly changed into the boots she had packed, and with one look back at what was visible of her home, turned towards the mountains. 9
Then she ran, putting as much distance as she could before her number was called and the officer handed over her envelope. When she didn’t return, they would first think she was lost or injured, and send a small group out to locate her. After a day, they would realize that she had intentionally not returned. The penalties for reneging on the ritual were severe, and she knew she could not be caught. So she ran.10
She ran until she couldn’t breathe, and the pain in her side threatened to bring her to her knees. She ran against the pain in her feet when she made it over uneven rock, and against the pain of her pack slapping against her back. She rested momentarily to get her bearings, her mind automatically bringing up the mapped images that he had sent her.11
Although she couldn’t see them, she knew they must be after her by now, and briefly wondered if it would be someone she knew that could catch her. She didn’t know whether she would kill to continue on her quest, but she resigned herself to the fact that she may have to. If there was no one at the mountains when she arrived, she would return to the dome, claiming that she had gotten lost and wandered for days, then slept until she had the strength to make it back before dark.12
She ran to her left, searching for a gully of sorts and found it by the luck of tumbling down the steep side. She hadn’t even seen it from above, and as she lay at the bottom gasping for breath, noticed the large rocks on both sides. She looked at her watch, surprised to see that it had been over eight hours since she left. Yes, they must surely know by now.13
She was too tired to move any further, and pulled her body behind a large stone and into an indent behind it. With luck, they would never notice the gully, and she could sleep for a few hours. She took a few of the water pills, and a couple of the food pills, then closed her eyes.14
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A sound woke her about four hours later and she pushed herself back further into the indent. Then a voice came closer and she estimated that they were nearing the top of the gully. Knowing that it would be wishful thinking that they turn to the left and miss the opening all together, she slowly crawled out from her hiding spot, took her boots off and quietly made her way towards the mountains. She didn’t worry about being spotted from above, but if someone stumbled into the gully like she had, then they might find sign that she had been there. 16
The rocks cut into her feet but she didn’t want to take the chance of her boots echoing though the gully and someone hearing. She stopped as the sound of a vehicle closed in on her again. She hadn’t thought that they would bring one of the vehicles after her, since they were not appropriate for the terrain. Pressing herself against the rocks, she tried to stop the ragged breathing that was coming from her. Her eyes grew wide as a few small rocks were kicked into the gully in front of her.17
“She’s probably dead,” a voice said. “I’m going to report that.”18
“Shouldn’t we check this chasm first?” another voice replied. Marienda clenched her fist to her mouth and bit down on the fear she suddenly had. She tried to relax, tried to silently prepare in case they came down.19
“If you want to go down there, go ahead,” the first one said. “I’ve only got so much free dome time and I’m not wasting it to find someone stupid enough to get herself lost.”20
“Fine,” the second voice said. Footsteps walked away, then the sound of a vehicle disappeared as they drove away.21
Marienda stayed against the wall until she could no longer hear the vehicle, then slid down the rocky wall until she hit the bottom. She stayed there, shaking in relief. Being reported as dead would work in her favour as it would stop anyone else from looking for her. Her hands were still shaking as she took her boots out of the bag and put them back on; then she stood slowly and started back on her journey.22
~~~~~~~~~~23
The days seemed to melt into each other as Marienda walked along the rocky plains, the mountains slowly getting closer. She was tired beyond belief but kept putting one foot in front of the other until she would collapse onto the rocks where she would sleep until ready to start again.24
She had gotten turned around once and nearly lost twice, but instead of panicking had counted on the sight of the mountain to guide her. Then, almost impossibly, she noticed that she was walking up, instead of straight. She wearily looked in front of her, surprised to see that she was at the base of the mountain. She blinked, unsure of how it had happened, since she could have sworn that the last time she looked it still seemed to be impossibly far away.25
She looked behind her and squinted as she could just barely make out the top of the dome in the distance. She turned back and started to climb the natural path, her exhaustion replaced by excitement. She refused to look down, not wanting to see how far she would plummet if she took a wrong step.26
She made it to the top of the first part of the mountain, and rested in a small flat area. From there, she had a magnificent view of the plains she had just crossed. She took a couple water pills as she looked out at the red and light brown stones. She had never noticed the light brown before, and it added a certain beautiful charm to an otherwise dreary landscape. She looked down at the ground she was sitting on, it’s stones a shade somewhere between the light brown and reds that she was used to. She picked up a stone, noticing that it was a shade or two darker than her own coloring.27
She stood and walked to the shelter of a large rock, settling behind it for a rest. One more day's climb she thought. She set the alarm on her watch for five hours and closed her eyes.28
In a list
What did you think? Please comment!
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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Ahhh!! She did escape!

This is really intense. I love the feeling of exhaustion you feel when you're finished reading this.
It makes you want to sleep and set your own alarm clock to hers.
Wonderful job


beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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Thanks for reading! (I found the typo, thanks
). Your words of praise make me smile (see ->
) I hope I can keep your interest and attention throughout.
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Hello Barbara, I am back and want to tell you that this is a wonderful chapter in this continuing saga. I have never been able to write like this. I have to write short stories and quit. Anyway, I want to say, that I am amazed at your ability to hold a person's attention and how you pay such close attention to detail; you are a wonderful writer. As the person above said I saw at least one of the spelling mistakes. one of them you spelled first when you meant fist. It must have been about five or six paragraphs back from the ending.
Damon D. Brewer
Edited on Aug 20, 10:19 p.m. because ''. -
Hi Barbara, I can't concentrate right now, but I promise to come back soon and give a good read to this.
Damon D. Brewer -
onward again!
I'm on chapter two. Arent there like 19 chapters? A great story thought, but i did notice two spelling mistakes. -
Well, I'm totally captivated by this story and can't wait to continue onto the next chapter!!
Again, your attention to detail is superb and keeps the reader rivetted on the story line and characters, and wanting more more more!!! So, that's where I'm headed now
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i cant read the next one
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Your writing is so gripping. I can't wait to read chapter 4. You make really good use of all literatual devices. Your punctuation is great, you structure your writing well. Your spelling is perfect, and the language you use is great. Kepp the good writing going.
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as an aside - are you aware how professional and imaginative your writing is - May I ask you to compare your work with another Canadian (she is winning with her writing) ---> http://www.taramoss.com.au/novels/psychomagnet.asp --- and also --- http://www.taramoss.com.au/novels/abcs.asp ---- Mind, if you look like her also.... (some people have it all - while we (I) get the left overs (such is life) --- and when you have compared your work - Have a look at this page please ---> http://www.cluelass.com/MystHome/Awards.html (you will win / win / win - then - money / money / money (leaving poor me here - wondering about life)
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I read chapter 4 before I read this one
I was wondering how she got there. Very good writing, had me hoping she didn't get caught and all that.....
Since you have some written, hurry up and finish the rest!!!!
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I'm happy you are enjoying the story
As for sleep? umm..well, after my kids are in bed for the night, and I've done enough housework so I can ignore the rest, I write. It's usually all a jumble, with ideas after ideas and paragraphs from the entire book....then I separate them and write chapters around them(my own version of an outline
) I even have the ending written....well, that last paragraph thing that sums things up.
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Yes - thank you, thank you (do you ever sleep)
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