Walk On Mountains - Chapter One

Marienda watched the streets around her as she walked, ever vigilant and on the lookout for trouble. She tugged at the collar of her uniform, a move that was more habit than a result of it being too tight around her neck. The second was also true, but she had grown used to it over the past ten years.1

While she was educated in her youth, placement tests had always set her in the non-coveted Rules Enforcement department. She didn’t want to walk around parts of the dome, making sure the citizens followed laws, but her wishes did not matter. The day after she finished her basic knowledge courses, she was placed in another educational institution.  Three months later she was walking a set path throughout some of the lowest areas in one of the worst domes...areas she had not known ever existed.2

Now she was a set fixture to the people here, and while some still gave her a hard time, others treated her with wary respect. She had been attacked numerous times, and had to hold her own until her co-workers arrived to back her up. It was during such an incident that she finally decided to follow her dream.  3

She had come across people in public displays of affection, kissing and holding each other while standing on a street corner. Someone from a passing vehicle had notified her department, and she was assigned to stop the activity. It was a rule she never supported but still enforced, and she asked for the people to cease their activity. So she approached, asked, and they complied, as she knew they would...no one wanted to spend time incarcerated. As she turned to leave, she felt something hit her from behind and was sent stumbling directly into the path of an oncoming vehicle.4

She didn’t feel the impact and the next noise she heard was someone calling her name. She opened her eyes to find that she had been in a Medical Center for two days, and the man she had talked to earlier had been incarcerated for attempted murder. It was shortly after this incident that the dreams began.5

She jumped as her communication device buzzed, bringing her from her musings. There was a disturbance a few blocks away from her, and she was ordered to check it out. She acknowledged the order, then signed off.6

She heard his voice before she walked around the corner. Her hand went for the button to summon backup, but she paused before hitting it. She walked to the corner and leaned against it as the man’s voice carried out over the gathering crowd.  7

At middle age, he had a wild look to his eyes, and spoke with the fervor of a seasoned Evangelist from the sermons she had attended during her education. But that was where the similarities ended. Where she had been preached at to uphold the rules, regulations and well being of the citizens as set down by some long dead leaders, the man who stood on a top step near a closed door talked about the outside world.8

She had heard his speech before, dismissing it as delusioned trouble making, then summoned reinforcements to break up the crowd. She had learned the hard way that his followers had no respect for anyone that opposed their ideas. A three-day visit to a Medical Center, and a week recuperating at home had made her wary of attempting it again. Yet here she was.9

“I have been to the outside,” his voice boomed across the crowd. “There are people who live in the mountains throughout the changes, and survive though sorcery!” The crowd gasped in horror and Marienda rolled her eyes. It was the same thing every week. Next he would be telling them that the powers were there for the taking, and that they demand the dome officials send scouts to the mountains to take, by force if necessary, the secrets it held.10

Marienda straightened and stared at the speaker until he noticed. He changed his speech so smoothly that only those familiar with it would have noticed. “Once again those in charge of keeping advances from us have sent one of their enforcers to keep me quiet,” he spouted and pointed at her.11

Marienda managed to keep the grimace off her face at being called an enforcer, and stepped up to the where he was standing. “Could I have a word with you?” she asked in her most official voice. She glanced to the side as a few of his followers approached her. “Please.”12

He regarded her for a few seconds, then nodded and motioned to a small area just to his right. “My meditation area,” he said. “It will be private.”13

She nodded and followed him, ignoring the hisses that the crowd directed at her. She looked around to make sure no one could hear her, then faced him. She couldn’t believe what she was about to do, and knew it could mean instant incarceration if proven.14

“Hypothetical question,” she began. “What would you say if someone told you that they had been dreaming nearly the same thing for over a year?”15

“What type of dream?” he asked, the hatred for her nearly gone from his face.16

“The type where someone is calling to them to join them,” she paused, “in the mountains.”17

His eyes grew wide, and he smiled. “Hypothetically speaking, I would tell that person to follow the dream. You’ve heard my talks enough to know that there is life out there.” He waited for her to respond, but only got an interested stare instead. “When I was at the mountains, I was taken in by people much like us, who had been there for years. I was near death, and not really understanding what I saw, but I know that there are tribes of people scattered throughout the mountains.”18

“That do sorcery.”19

He shrugged lightly. “How else could you explain that it took me less than two days to make a two week journey back to the dome before the sun disappeared. If they had not used sorcery to make me fly back, then I would have perished.”20

“You were ill and hallucinating,” Marienda pointed out. “How do you know you flew?”21

“Some things one just knows.” He looked at her. “If you go, be careful.”22

She smiled slightly. “This is an unauthorized gathering.  Why don’t we just part here, I leave, you leave, the crowd leaves, and there will be no need for backup this week.” She sighed as he stared at her.  “We do this every week, you and I, and it really accomplishes nothing. It only gets people injured.”23

He went to object, but stopped. “That is fine, but this time only.”24

“Of course,” she murmured as she turned and walked away.25

~~~~~~~~~~26

She stared at the ceiling of her small room as she lay on her bed, wishing for sleep to come. “I’m coming,” she whispered, “I’m coming.”  She had never said it out loud before, and as the words left her lips, she smiled. She would gladly leave her life behind for a few weeks and, even if there was no one actually waiting for her at the mountains, she looked forward to the solitude that walking there and back would provide.27

A serene feeling came over her, gently lulling her into a restful sleep.  Sometime during the night, images filtered though her brain, visions of places she would travel by on her way to the mountains. It stopped at a small cliff looking over a valley high in the mountains, and as her dream body sat on a large rock, she could feel the gentle touch of someone’s hands on her. She moaned in her sleep, moving slightly on her bed, then gasped as the feeling stopped. Her eyes opened as she sat up and got out of bed. She ignored the clock as she pulled the curtain to the side and looked out her window to the sun baked outside.28

Could this be the sorcery? she thought as she stared. She shook her head with a small laugh. “I’ll find out soon enough,” she said to her empty room. Years of living the life she had had taken away her belief in a lot of things, and magic was near the top of that long list.29

Magic she could do without, but that list of things was one of the reasons she was willing to follow her dream summons. A lot of the things she knew would never happen, but a few of the things she needed to see if they were possible. She had forgotten what it felt like to walk the streets without constantly scanning the surroundings for trouble, or to walk without the underlying fear that if something happened to her, the only people who would come to her aid would be her co-workers. Rules Enforcement was a non-desirable job, but one she had been assigned.  30

She also wanted to do something just for herself. No following of rules, regulations or tradition...and ignoring the mating ritual would definitely take care of that. At the top of the list was the one thing she wanted to find out the most from this journey. She needed to know if she could love someone and be loved back...unconditional love was what she had given up on years ago, but it was the one thing she needed. Her people did not live together as sexual units, and even after the ritual, did not partake in sexual relations. She had read history books about times when people had done this, and in reading that, it had been the only time in her life that she had experienced deep jealousy.31

These people of old had even raised their own off-springs, and had given birth at various times through the planetary cycle. She could not imagine that, and had a hard time picturing it in her mind. She had searched for records to show when things had changed, and had finally found that due to population excess, rules were placed to regulate births. The books stated that this was only to be a fifty year rule, but somewhere along the way it turned into tradition, with certain things added yearly until it became the ritual that had been carried on for over three hundred years.32

When she had been found searching through the archives, she had explained that she was doing research so she could better understand and deal with the heretics that were part of her enforcement area. She had been placed under surveillance for a short time in an effort to assure that she was telling the truth about going through the histories.33

She blinked and turned away from the window, suddenly feeling extremely tired. Her superiors at work had noticed a change in her, and she explained it on the excitement of finally being a part of the ritual. They had smiled, told her they understood, then offered her the chance to take the final two days off before she was scheduled for her two month leave. She graciously accepted, not letting it show that she would have rather been allowed to walk free during those two months than spend them in regulated sex with a man she had never met. Though all couples, approximately one hundred in all, would be secluded in individual tents, there was really no privacy.  34

Ignoring the desire to go back to sleep, she walked to her small closets and quickly packed a bag to bring on her journey. She had been hoarding water and food pills for weeks now, and hoped that she had enough to sustain her through the plains. It had been tricky to get a large supply of the pills that when swallowed would convert to liquid or a food source. Since everyone in her work had been allocated a certain amount to use as a ration for daily use so eating real food wouldn’t slow them down, she had saved hers. She often went thirsty while patrolling and would come back to her small room and eat a large meal to make up for not taking the pills during the day.35

She packed the pills into a pair of boots and put them in the bag, along with a few shirts, pants and undergarments. She hesitated slightly, then pulled a nearly transparent dress from the bottom of her closet. She ran her fingers along the shift, not really sure why she had made it all those years ago. She had seen the material in a shop window, advertised as window coverings for the dark months, and had bought it for that reason. When she got home, she unrolled the fabric and noticed that it was soft, and then without thinking she turned to her clothing machine and made a short dress out of it.36

She put the shift into the bag, sealed it, and placed it back in the closet. It was not unusual for people to bring provisions with them to the outside, since some liked to return as little as possible over the next five weeks until it was finally time to come back in.37

She finally went back to her bed and nearly fell onto it. She rolled over and stared at the ceiling once more until her alarm clock sounded to signal another day.38

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1 - 9 of 9
  • Charles Kelmon
    November 9

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    very good

    You're good. Are you published? I realize this has been here a while, but I'm new to the site. I wanted to read a longer work (like a novel), so I chose yours.

    I also was going to upload a novel to get some independent feedback, but I uploaded the first 2 chapters and haven't been viewed or commented. It's good to see a longer work like yours has been read, I was thinking maybe no one had the patience to read more than 500 words.

    I'm going to try and read all of this to see where it goes, you managed to hook me (which really isn't easy). Hope you are having success as a writer, you really do have talent.

    P.S. I found a typo in paragraph 10, I think "though" should be "through".

    beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, characters: 5.


  • Kari gold member
    June 14

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    I like how you really go into details and help us get to know Marienda.

    This hints, and suggests a lot of things and leaves you wanting to read the next chapter fast.

    Although it doesn't matter much I would have liked more imagery on the "meditation area". But it's not of major importance in this chapter. Did it have tables, did they stand, was anyone helping to guard this area? etc...

    I do like the modern feel to this with the pills and other things. What kind of bag did she put the pills in? A bookbag? Or something like a suitcase?

    Goes to read part two I hope u don't mind my questions, etc...

    beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.

  • Deke
    July 27, 2004
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    Very good Barbara. I truly like this story. I am sorry that it has taken me so long to get back after the prologue, and I will try to make sure that I don't take as long to get back the next time.
    Damon D. Brewer


  • Medea
    July 13, 2004
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    onward...to the next xhapter. i hope its as good as this one.


  • sheissounsure
    May 28, 2004
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    i agree with Rubee! yeah even through i am one the first chapter i am going to read more


  • Rubee
    May 17, 2004
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    You are an exceptional story teller Barbara!!! The reader gets acquainted with the main characters so early on and almost feel a part of them..that's great writing!!! Your descriptive detailing is absolutely amazing!!! Another great story to enjoy!!

  • elg1610
    May 9, 2004
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    Wow...your descriptions are amazing, I felt as if I was standing right next to Merienda. It's an amazing idea, and your structure is perfect.


  • wattle
    May 7, 2004
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    OK - I'm hooked - I'm ready for the journey - but you be warned if you hurt her - I will be so upset --- thank you (more please)

  • TanyaB
    May 7, 2004
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    ohhhh i'm getting into this story. GIMME MORE!!!!!

1 - 9 of 9