It seems strange to begin my story at a gravesite, for graves are usually where stories end, not where they begin. But this is a very special grave, that contains a very special man, and this is a very different kind of story which will have grave consequences in more ways than one. And there is really no doubt in my mind that eventually this place where I am now standing, and which I will almost certainly visit again and again over time . . will be neither the beginning nor the ending of this story; but it will be the center . . around which everything will revolve for as long as I can imagine . . 1
Author notes
This is how I plan to begin a story I am now drafting about my late Father-in-law . . The Grave is an enormous Chinese Buddhist Grave on the top of a hill facing west overlooking a valley in southern Thailand.
A contest entry
- PARAGRAPHS!!! by Azaradelle.
450 points, ended February 28, 2007, 20 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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A very good start of the story!
I have no idea what will follow, but I'll probably read it if you post it, hehe
Very well written
beginning: 4, language: 5, plot: 4, ending: 5, dialog: 4, characters: 3.
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Good
I can't wait to read the rest of this piece. What a fantastic tribute to your father-in-law. Good luck in the contest with this exceptionally vivid paragraph. -
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Thanks . .but . .
In my story my Father-in-Law has a good and bad side and is not always shown in a good light . .
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Wonderful!
Wow, this was amazingly well written! The emotions weaved throught this paragraph are done to perfection! The wording was magnificent, and i hope you continue this story as soon as possible!
Goodluck and thank you for entering!
Yrs.
Azaradelle.
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Thanks .
Thank you for you kind comments .
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Oh, very nice. This is would an excellent first paragraph for a story. I don't know if you mean to continue, but I'd definitely read the rest.
The only critique that I have is a few instances of wordiness in your last sentence. I think the ellipses make your writing weaker. I prefer: "And there is no real doubt in my mind that this place where I am standing, which I will almost certainly visit again and again, will be neither the beginning nor the end of this story; but it will be the center, around which everything will revolve for as long as I can imagine."
That is a shiver-worthy sentence. (I took out "eventually" because I assume that a beginning can't in time be unmade as a beginning. Especially if it wasn't a beginning to begin with. *conundrum*)
So in sum, I really like it. I'm rooting for you in the contest now. Go you!
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