Drac walked along the streets of Norway on a pretty normal kind of day.
Suddenly, a big polar-bear-limousine ran towards him, and stopped just inches away from his ten-inch.... You know!
The trusted monkey that constantly followed Drac around inside his shirt, suddenly jumped up from his shirt and placed himself around Dracs neck.
Drac nearly chocked, and pushed the monkey back into his shirt.
Then, a great big man stepped down off the polar-bear-limousine.
The man, who was clearly what you might call 'the missing link'... and was wearing no pants, approached Drac and gave him a note.
And before Drac could even realize it, the limousine-bear had already left... Leaving the great big man a little embarrased, walking pantsless and bearless on the street.
Well, the man walked away, and left Drac and the monkey to read the note in peace... or was it in peach? (Damn, I never remember... mhm... Ice tea... Huh? Oh yeah.. The story, right!)
The note simply said:
Hey there Drac!
You are invited to a party over at the Storywrite-HQ
Now, by the way, this note will selfdestruct... NOW!
Drac threw away the note, but it blew right back in his face, papercutting his forehead.
The large gaping wound that appeared started bleeding, but got better as the paper blew up in a boom... How that made it better, no-one knows, but it was really rather silly.
Then Drac pulled himself together, literally after the big boom, and started walking towards the SWHQ.
The monkey now crawlet up from the shirt, and buildt a nest on Dracs left shoulder.
There it lay some eggs, and they all fell off before they reached the HQ.
Once there, Drac could hear the giantic party from inside.
He looked in through the window (That was made of foam in this story, just to keep it safe) and saw absolutely nothing, since it was made of foam.
So, he let the monkey have his left eye, and pushed the monkey through the foam.
Dracs eye rested steady in the monkeys palm, until the monkey spotted Soda and jumped into her bussum, dropping the eye in the punch-bowl.
Through the eye, Drac could see many known faces.
He saw Totem, Soda (still being harassed by the monkey on her back), tigerlilly91, Dirty and Broken,jtnbuck, Snoozy-girl,travis34dietC,Brent,-Syren- ... and alot of other known and some unknown faces as well.
Drac decided to go inside, but opened the door just as jtnbuck was leaving, accidentally killing her by hitting her face with the door.
The monkey saw that Drac was back, but couldn't really care less, as it was inches away from unhooking Sodas bra. (Ohh... I feel my next story will be erotica... Wait... No!...Back to the story again... Though I am running out of ideas... hmm... erotica you say?.... NO!)
So Drac had someone help him revive jtn, then he caught the monkey, and then he got his eye back.
The rest of the night he spent dancing on the tables and eating spicy food... Nachos... I believe...
The end...
I said the end! jeeze....
Author notes
Yes, I started writing with this title in mind: So random it's sick... And this is how it turned out... enjoy
In a list
A contest entry
- Anything by jtnbuck.
350 points, ended March 7, 2007, 3 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Quick Quickies: Humour by tallblondie.
210 points, ended July 8, 14 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 19 of 19
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Wow.
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That's what she said
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Very weird
Whatch the language... -
Wow
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What's with all the monkeys?! You and Poopa both ... and that kid from 8 Simple Rules for Dating My Daughter.
I don't think I woulda known it was Random unless you'd told me.
I liked it. Liked not knowing what was coming next.
What drew me in was the Category list you provided. Reminded me of how I had to list things that might upset the gentle readers on another list.
Great write! I can see this coming down to a neck and neck tie with Poopa.
. Rewarded 4
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You and Poopa Scoopa should have a randomness battle. After this, I'm not sure who would win. You both seem to like monkeys though... I'm glad I was invited to the party, and that I didn't get killed (I always said doors were dangerous). But you should know that soda's bosom is spelled, well, bosom. You seem to be very interested in her bosom. But bosoms are fun. Bosom. Bosom bosom. Bosom is fun to say.
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Hehe, thanks
And yeah, I know, I should learn to spell
And I do like bosoms
Hehe, glad you didn't read my other random-story first, because in that one you are a hedgehog, and you die...
In the next part I'm going to revive you though... hehe
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lol! very...interesting. thanks for adding me in it! great job as usual. write more stories like this
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Hehe, thanks
I did actually just write another story that is pretty much even worse than this one
It's called A story that is so random, you'd be surprised!
And right now I'm readin your stories
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What the...?
I read this with a grin and a furrowed brow. Random is right. But also funny, witty, down right strange, entertianing, suprising and definately not sad. And of course it's great to be in it!
A different direction - but still good work. Have you ever read a book about Jim the ghost giraffe? Just a thought!
. Rewarded 4
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Hehe, thanks for your comment
And no, I haven't read about Jim the ghost giraffe...
Maybe I should, is it good? random?
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Haha! I loved this story! (of course-I'm in it!) You are such a great writer. Awesome job.
xoxo
Kelsey
. Rewarded 4
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Thanks alot Kelsey
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interesting....
i would dance on the tables, too...
this was very funny, but i've read more random things
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Hehe
It wasn't ment to be random at first, it just became that way... and for that, I think it's really rather random
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soda's bra >_>
sodas are...! x.x we are bottles you know!
made of glass 
or in a can...
But seriously, this was just, omg! RANDOMLY funny! I also get mentioned thrice throughout the whole piece, woot! you write a lot >_> where do you get your inspiration from? I'm guessing it's from the nest on your left shoulder.. or was it right? you got me confused which is your point, I think? Thanks for sharing this with us!!!
P.S. nothingman has a contest called randomcitiness this would fit in quite well with that contest
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You know I had to mention you alot, and I was determined to mention your bra hehe
And yeah, the inspiration does come from the nest on my left shoulder, how on earth did you know? coocoocatchoo
And yeah, I like confusing
I think I'll try that randomcitiness... sounds like a contest made for this one
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omg this was really something it was so funny i did like reading this oh.. this was very good keep up the good work i loved it
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Oh tnx
Hope you didn't mind what I did to you in the story
hehe
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