by Little Red Riding Hood; Mother Goose Villages, CA--In a marvel of modern surgery, Dr. Peter Piper, chief surgeon at Mother Goose Medical Center, managed to reattach the tails of three white mice after a savage incident last night involving a kitchen cleaver.1
"It feels marvelous. Simply marvelous," says the eldest of the three mice, flexing his ugly hairless tail. (He was still heavily under the effects of anesthesia during the interview.)2
The police report, filed early this morning, contends that the Farmer's Wife and the mice, who are legally blind, were debating the ownership of a piece of goat cheese when the woman turned on them with a carving knife. The mice apparently attempted to flee the scene, but their mouse-hole was not within scrabbling distance.3
"The fact that not one, but all three of their tails were chopped clearly indicates intent on the Farmer's Wife's part. Probably also some sadist tendencies," said Police Chief Peter Peter Pumpkin Eater.4
The Farmer's Wife had no comment on the incident. The word is celebrity lawyer Mark Geragos will take a trip down from Neverland to take her case. Her indictment is scheduled for June.5
_________________________________________________________________________6
with reporting by Mary Mary Quite Contrary and Old Mother Hubbard7
Author notes
"Hope The Little Old Woman's Kids Didn't Have Athlete's Foot"
What did you think? Please comment!
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
-
Oh, if it were for school, I would completely rebel...well, no I wouldn't, but I wish I could
I see what you mean about the 'legally blind thing.' I'll see what I can do.
-
This was a very cute piece! Original idea for a contest, too. I had to write something in the style of a reporter for school once, but it didn't turn out nearly as well as this. Not sure why, I think I was just being rebellious and stubborn at the time because the topic didn't make me happy, hehe. But this was really good, the language used made it really sound like something I'd find in a (fairy tale) newspaper. One thing that caught my mind, when you said "who are legally blind" I at first thought you meant the mice and the Farmer's Wife. But that was probably just me, of course. Well done, congrats on the trophy. ^^
Renae. -
A very interesting write; I enjoyed it very much. I think that you should have won--even if you didn't. Really you did a very good job on it.
Damon D. Brewer
Edited on May 22, 1:44 because ''. -
Vey good job. I had always thought that the farmer's wife was provoked. She should claim self defense. Nice addition of Geragos from Neverland..
Keep writing. -
this was so great! i liked how everything seemed to fit, and nothing was forced. it was very creative, and i found it funny how you had them interview the mice, but said they were still "heavily under the effects of anesthesia." very cute.
-
Fantastic. Sounds like the daily news to me. I always knew she was a crazy old lady masquerading as a respectable farmer's wife!
-
Well, looks like those mice will be turning into shining white horses after all for Cinderalla's Ball. Probably some lady who was jealous that the little peskers can transform themselves into a majestic beaut of an animal. Good luck in the contest!
-
Very nice reporting. Good luck in the contest. God bless you
-
You seem to have a talent for writing newspaper articles. This was very funny. I like how you made the blind mice the victims. Good luck in the contest.
-
You seem to have a talent for writing newspaper articles. This was very funny. I like how you made the blind mice as victims. Good luck in the contest.
-
You seem to have a talent for writing newspaper articles. This was very funny. I like how you used the blind mice as victims. Good luck in the contest.
-
This is very funny. That Peter Piper must be multi-talented. (see my piece) Best of luck in the contest.
-
very cute. I love funny things. Funny things make the world go round, I am thinking.
-
Very interesting my dear. I like how you mixed up all the faerie tales/nursery rhymes in it. That was great, since I know most people will most likely use just the two ^_^ Wonderful job, I wish you the best of luck.
Adding your comment:
1 - 14 of 14
