© 2003/2004 by Liz B. Tropez1
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS2
Lyrics from “Bottom of a Bottle” by Smile Empty Soul used by permission- 3
check out www.smileemptysoul.com4
Other lyrics and quotes pending approval… may be changed.5
FADE IN6
EXT COLLEGE CAMPUS, DUSK7
Kids are walking and chatting, we see a sign announcing Battle of the Bands, listing Oddigy and others.8
INT AUDITORIUM9
Bryan, a young man with shoulder length brown hair is tuning a guitar on stage as kids filter in, mingling.10
SAM11
Hey Bryan, we got any extension cords?12
We see the first guy is Bryan… he looks around at his band mate and sets his guitar down.13
BRYAN14
(walking over)15
Yeah, I think so.16
He rummages around in a trunk, and pulls one out, handing it over. He walks back to plug his guitar into the amp. He strums a few chords and uses his toe to adjust the volume. Satisfied, he launches into the first chords of a new song he was writing, causing a few audience members to take notice. He looks up to see the school reporter and photographer there. She snaps a picture and waves. He smiles back, then turns around to see if everything is ready. Satisfied that it is, he sits on the edge of the stage to wait for the seats to fill. Another young guy joins him and twirls his drum sticks…17
JAKE18
What are we going to open with tonight?19
BRYAN20
I was thinking Cutter if you don’t have any objections.21
JAKE22
(getting up to tell the other guy)23
None here.24
He tries the first few bars of it… then checks his watch. It said quarter till, and already it was getting crowded. He decides to go have a quick smoke outside- all we see is a cigarette and lighter being removed from his pocket. He leans against the corner of the building. Many people pass him on their way in. He avoids making eye contact.25
LACY26
(Shakes head)27
I thought you’d be out here.28
BRYAN29
(snuffing it out against the wall)30
I know, I shouldn’t do this.31
They go in together and get on the stage as the emcee announces them.32
MC33
Welcome to the Battle of the Bands!34
Crowd cheers.35
MC (CONT’D)36
Westlake College is proud to reintroduce our first band, ODDIGY!37
BRYAN38
(getting settled)39
Bonjour et bienvenue! Hello, and welcome.40
(Crowd cheers again)41
BRYAN (CONT’D)42
Thank you! Tonight we’re going to play our newest song. It’s called Cutter.43
BRYAN44
(singing)45
You go through the motions, never letting your face show, any true emotions, you don’t want the world to know… Life seems to pass you by, everyone goes their own way, meanwhile you sit and cry, alone at the end of the day… I know what you’re thinking, this shit’s not worth living for, you don’t turn to drinking, like the time you did before… The edge of a razor, it brings pleasure with the pain, pushing it still deeper, let the blood run down the drain… no one needs to know, can’t ever let them know… 46
Cut to party in a dorm room, music fades out to dorm noise. Bryan and Angie entering his room, talking.47
ANGELA48
(flopping down on his bed)49
I’ve got a surprise for you, too.50
BRYAN51
(putting his guitar away)52
Really? What?53
Angie pulls two slips of paper from her pocket. C.U. shows they are concert tickets.54
ANGELA55
I scored us a pair of tickets to the Tom Petty Concert!56
BRYAN57
(hugging her)58
No fucking way!59
ANGELA60
It’s next Saturday…61
There is a knock on the door, Bryan goes to answer.62
JAKE (V.O.)63
Hey, Bry. You and Angie are missing the celebration! I’ve got some Tom Petty on.64
BRYAN 65
(opening the door)66
Well guess who just got tickets to see him live next weekend?67
ANGELA68
We did!69
JAKE70
No fucking way!71
BRYAN72
That’s what I said.73
Angie shows him. They all head down the hall to the party.74
JAKE75
Damn, how did you score such good seats?76
ANGELA77
Well, my dad works for the paper. Got a press pass too.78
BRYAN79
(shouting)80
Oh hell yeah! 81
He coughs & hacks.82
ANGELA83
That doesn’t sound good. You should quit.84
BRYAN85
I’ve tried, but these goddamned finals…86
JAKE87
Tell me about it! I was up for three nights in a row. I figured we all deserved a break, and then we kicked everyone’s asses, so…88
He opens his dorm room, it’s the same one we saw before.89
JAKE (CONT’D)90
(Hands Bryan a beer)91
Hey, everyone! Look who’s here!92
PARTYGOERS93
Hey, Bryan!94
Bryan waves his bottle of beer at them, and finds an open spot on the bed to sit on. Angie sits on his lap, playing with his hair. Cut to someone passing a joint around. Cut back to Bryan and Angie sharing the beer. He sets down the empty bottle, and someone passes him a joint.95
INT BOY’S BEDROOM, DAYTIME96
BRYAN97
Hey, Angie! Guess what?!98
INT GIRL’S BEDROOM99
ANGELAYou’re horny?100
REVERSE POV throughout101
BRYAN102
(grinning slyly)103
Jeebus. This isn’t a booty call.104
ANGELA105
(sketching a picture)106
Then what is it?107
BRYAN108
Remember the battle of the bands last month?109
ANGELA110
Of course. That was some party wasn’t it?111
BRYAN112
Yeah, but you still haven’t guessed what I called about.113
ANGELA114
Um, ok. I assume it has something to do with the band… you guys get a gig somewhere cool?115
BRYAN116
Better. We got offered a record deal!117
ANGELA118
(closing sketchbook)119
No shit?!120
BRYAN121
Yeah, this Beverly woman called and said her company would be our managers and that we get to go to LA!122
ANGELA123
LA, huh? You’ll probably fuck every groupie that throws herself at your feet.124
BRYAN125
Aw, come on. Give me some credit. You know I love you.126
ANGELA127
I know, I was just kidding. So you sure you’re not horny?128
BRYAN129
Did I say I wasn’t? I haven’t gotten laid since we went to see Tom Petty last month.130
ANGELA131
You know, we could reenact that in the back yard.132
BYRAN133
(Growls)134
Mmmm, kinky rugged sex. Sounds yummy.135
ANGELA136
So what are you waiting for? Get your ass over here.137
INT HOUSE, FRONT DOOR, AFTERNOON138
Cut to Angela’s front door, Bryan is holding a six-pack and leaning up against the doorframe.139
ANGELA140
Hey there, sexy!141
(Pulls him inside)142
What took you so long?143
BRYAN144
(sets down the case to embrace her)145
Beer.146
(Almost under his breath)147
And some other shit.148
ANGELA149
Damn, Bryan. When you do something you do it all the way.150
BRYAN151
(nibbling her ear)152
Mmm hmmm.153
EXT BACKYARD, LATE AFTERNOON154
Cut to backyard, with empty bottles lying in the grass near a blanket. Bryan and Angie are wrestling around and laughing.155
ANGELA156
(pins him down, tracing finger down his nose, across his lips, to his soul patch)157
You’re so cute.158
BRYAN159
(pushing her off and sitting up)160
You’re drunk.161
ANGELA162
But I want you so bad…163
BRYAN164
(teasing)165
What if I say you can’t have me?166
ANGELA167
(jumping back on him)168
I don’t think you have a choice…169
BRYAN170
Damn, woman. What are you trying to do?171
ANGELA172
You.173
Extreme close up, switching POV as their eyes lock. He reaches up and pulls her in for a slow, sensual kiss. Cut to Bryan smoking and looking down at Angie, whose head is in his lap. She is playing with a dandelion, then looks up at him and giggles.174
BRYAN175
What?176
ANGELA177
You look funny upside down.178
BRYAN179
Oh, yeah? Well, no more of this for you.180
He snuffs out the joint, puts it in his pocket, and then licks his fingers.181
ANGELA182
You suck!183
BRYAN184
See? You’ve got things backasswards.185
Angela leaps on him again, giggling. He rolls over on top of her. They Eskimo kiss.186
ANGELA187
You know what would taste good right now?188
BRYAN189
What? You got the munchies or something?190
ANGELA191
(jumping up)192
Yeah. Let’s hit Steak N Shake.193
BRYAN194
Oh, yeah! I’m gonna get me some onion rings!195
INT RESTAURANT LATE AFTERNOON196
Bryan and Angie are seated in the back, a WAITRESS scribbles their order on a pad and walks away. Angela doodles on the back of the placemat. Bryan lights up a cigarette.197
ANGELA198
So how did your mom take it?199
BRYAN200
(Takes a drag)201
Ha. Pissed off and worried. To put it mildly. 202
ANGELA203
Well, you’re all she’s got.204
BRYAN205
(mumbling)206
It’s not my fault. That pig fucker, I hope he rots in hell.207
ANGELA208
(putting down the pen and lowering her voice)209
Bryan, your dad had a disease.210
Flash of black & white image, a young Bryan cowering.211
BRYAN212
(gritting teeth but trying to stay calm)213
Disease my ass! I don’t think I will ever forgive the bastard for what he did.214
(Their eyes meet, his are angry, hers concerned)215
He fucking ruined our lives, Angie. Fuck him!216
He sits looking out the window, clenching and unclenching his left hand and smoking.217
WAITRESS218
(quickly setting down their order)219
Here you go. Let me know if you need anything else.220
ANGELA221
Thanks.222
Bryan snuffs out his cigarette and attacks the onion rings with a fork.223
EXT ROAD, NEARLY DUSK.224
The car speeds down the road, kicking up dust and rocks.225
INT CAR, NEARLY DUSK.226
ANGELA227
You wanna slow down?228
Bryan glares at her.229
ANGELA (CONT’D)230
Sheesh, sorry.231
In the mirror, a police car pulls out of a driveway. Sirens and lights go off, making them take notice.232
BRYAN233
Fuck!234
(He pounds his fist on the wheel)235
Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck!236
ANGELA237
(under her breath)238
…told you to slow down…239
Bryan growls as the car slams to a halt on the edge of a field. The police car stops right behind, and the policeman gets out. Bryan reaches over to open the glove box for the registration and then pulls his wallet out of is pocket to retrieve his license. We see the partially smoked joint fall onto his lap, then between his legs.240
POLICEMAN241
(shooting them a quizzical glance)242
Well, well, well. If it’s not Bryan and Angie! What are you two doing here?243
ANGELA244
(staring out the opposite window)245
Spring break.246
POLICEMAN247
(beginning to write a ticket)248
I see.249
(Looking up at Bryan, and holding out his hand)250
Son, do you know how fast you were going?251
BRYAN252
(mumbling as he hands over the license and registration)253
Too fast?254
POLICEMAN255
(glaring at him)256
Could you repeat that?257
BRYAN258
(turning to look at him)259
Sorry. I said I was going too fast.260
POLICEMAN261
(finishes writing)262
You certainly were. 263
He hands over the ticket, Bryan’s license, and the registration, and then walks away.264
BRYAN265
(handing the ticket and registration to Angie)266
Here.267
He puts his license back in his wallet, and that in his pocket, and starts the car up again. He watches the police car pull away in the rearview.268
ANGELA269
(putting away the registration while reading the ticket)270
Holy shit! A hundred and eighty dollars!271
BRYAN272
Jesus H Christ! Are you serious?273
He snatches it from her, looks, crumples it and throws it in the back seat.274
ANGELA275
You might want to actually pay that.276
BRYAN277
What I want to do is shove it up that pig’s fat ass, but apparently the motherfucker’s head is already up there.278
ANGELA279
(noticing the joint)280
It could have been a whole lot worse.281
BRYAN282
What do you mean?283
ANGELA284
(reaching over to pick it up)285
He could have seen this.286
BRYAN287
(looking relieved)288
Shit, give me that.289
He steers with his knees as he lights it, takes a toke, makes a face, exhales with a sigh, and then passes it to Angie. She hesitates, and then takes a toke. She hands it back to him and leans in close.290
ANGELA291
So, you want to come over tonight? My dad’s away on assignment.292
BRYAN293
OK… You think he doesn’t know?294
ANGELA295
I seriously doubt it. He’s either blind or in denial.296
BRYAN297
How is Egypt this time of year?298
Angela snorts and sits back.299
INT ANGELA’S BEDROOM- NIGHT300
Angela is sitting cross-legged on the bed, facing Bryan and sketching him as he flips through the channels.301
BRYAN302
This sucks. Nothing’s on.303
ANGELA304
Sit still. I’m almost done.305
He reaches over to caress her leg. She looks up and smiles.306
BRYAN307
(turning off the TV and tossing the remote on the nightstand)308
Je desire te baisser.309
Subtitle: I want you.310
ANGELA311
(setting aside the sketch, then interlacing fingers with him)312
OK, you win. Tu sais je ne puis pas te resister quand tu parle francais.313
Subtitle: You know I can't resist you when you speak French.314
BRYAN315
(nuzzling her neck)316
Oui, je le sais bien, ma petite ange.317
Subtitle: Yes, I’m well aware, my little Angel.318
ANGELA319
(sly grin)320
Je ne suis pas une ange.321
Subtitle: I’m no angel.322
She kisses him as they lay back, and she turns off the light.323
INT ANGELA’S BEDROOM. DAYLIGHT324
Angela and Bryan are asleep, spooning. 325
SFX: Phone ringing326
ANGELA327
(lifting phone off hook)328
Hello? Oh, hi, Mrs. Taylor… Yeah, he is… Ok, I’ll tell him. Bye.329
She hangs up, and then rolls over to face Bryan, who is pretending to still be asleep.330
ANGELA (CONT’D)331
She says come home and rake the leaves.332
BRYAN333
(yawning and stretching, then holding his head)334
Shit. I have the worst hangover in my life.335
He grabs the pillow and puts it over his head, and mumbles into it.336
ANGELA337
(lifting the pillow)338
What was that?339
BRYAN340
I said I don’t wanna rake leaves today. I feel like shit.341
He pulls the pillow back down.342
ANGELA343
And you look like it too.344
EXT YARD, MIDMORNING345
Bryan leans the rake up against the tree, and goes to sit on the porch to have a smoke. His mother comes out and sits beside him.346
MARGARET347
I hope you and Angie are being careful. It would be a shame if something happened before graduation.348
BRYAN349
Spare me, mom. We’re both adults.350
MARGARET351
Bryan, I’m still your mother. I want what’s best for you.352
BRYAN353
What about what I want? Doesn’t that matter?354
MARGARET355
You can’t always get what you want. I wish you’d give up this silly idea of going to LA. It’s just not a stable career choice.356
BRYAN357
(irritated)358
Maybe I don’t want stability. Maybe I just want to enjoy my life.359
MARGARET360
(getting up, exasperated)361
Sooner or later you’re going to have to face up to reality, Bryan. If you don’t take responsibility for the things you do, you’re going to end up just like your father.362
She walks in the house and slams the door shut.363
BRYAN364
(really pissed, walking away, muttering to himself)365
I can’t believe this shit…366
INT LIVING ROOM, ABOUT NOON367
Angela is sitting on the couch, stroking Bryan’s hair as he chain-smokes and animatedly recounts the fight between he and his mother. She soothes him, and finally they embrace.368
BG music “Silhouettes” or “Therapy” by Smile Empty Soul.369
INT AIRPORT EVENING370
Angie and Bryan embracing at the gate. SFX: flight boarding announcement.371
ANGELA372
Wish I could come with you.373
BRYAN374
Me, too. I'm going to miss you…375
JAKE376
Come on, you pussy. The steel bird is going to fly without us.377
Bryan ignores him and kisses Angie.378
SAM379
Bryan, enough already. You'll see her in a month.380
Lacy glares at Sam. Bryan reluctantly pulls away and looks at Angie.381
ANGELA382
(She starts to walk away)383
…call me as soon as you get in, promise?384
BRYAN385
I promise…386
He glares at Sam who is pulling him by his arm. They follow Jake and Lacy down the ramp.387
INT AIRPLANE388
Bryan flips through the on flight magazine, Sam and Jake are checking out the other passengers. A flight attendant walks past.389
JAKE390
Hey Bryan, did you see the ass on that stewardess?391
BRYAN392
(not looking up)393
Nice try, asshole. I'm not interested.394
JAKE395
You're pussywhipped.396
BRYAN397
At least I'm getting some.398
JAKE399
Fuck you!400
SAM401
(to Jake)402
Son of a bitch thinks he's the only one who gets laid.403
LACY404
Keep it up and he will be.405
INT AIRPORT, MIDNIGHT406
Sam, Bryan and Jake exiting the plane.407
SAM408
…and so she calls me a selfish bastard.409
JAKE410
What a bitch.411
SAM412
No shit.413
Lacy slaps him.414
SAM (CONT'D)415
Damn, that hurt! Hey Bryan, you ok? You haven't said a word in five hours.416
BRYAN417
You guys haven't shut the fuck up for five hours.418
JAKE419
Hey, don't get pissy with us, man.420
SAM421
(to Jake)422
I think he's going through fucking withdrawal.423
They both laugh, and Bryan spins around.424
BRYAN425
(pointing to each of them in turn)426
Fuck you, and fuck you, and I feel bad for you. Now, I don't want to hear any more of your bullshit.427
He spins back around. Sam and Jake exchange glances, holding back their laughter and comments.428
INT HOTEL LOBBY429
Sam, Lacy, Jake and Bryan are at the check in desk, signing in and taking their keys. They all pile into the elevator.430
JAKE431
I wonder if there's a minibar. I could use a good buzz right now.432
SAM433
Jake, you're such a lush. There's a real bar downstairs where you can find some California booty.434
JAKE435
Hey! Maybe we could hook up with a porn star!436
BRYAN437
(to Lacy)438
Animals. My friends are fucking animals.439
JAKE440
Now there's a unique idea.441
Bryan glares at him as they get off the elevator. Sam, Lacy and Jake follow him to a door marked 1408.442
SAM443
You said it, man.444
(He looks up and down the hall)445
Do we have this whole floor to ourselves or what?446
A woman opens a door down the hall, looks at the guys, waves, and closes the door. Jake nudges Sam, who spins around to look.447
JAKE448
We are definitely not alone.449
BRYAN450
While you two dingle berries decide who's going to talk to her first, I'm going to actually go in our room.451
He opens the door, tosses his carryon to the side, and flips on the lights. Sam and Jake walk in beside him. They look in all directions. Bryan walks around looking at stuff.452
SAM453
Holy shit! A plasma TV!454
He runs and jumps on one of the huge couches.455
LACY456
I wonder what's on at this hour?457
JAKE458
Well fuck me Freddy, there is a minibar.459
He grabs a beer and closes the door with his foot.460
BRYAN461
(emerging from the bathroom)462
Guys, there is a huge ass Jacuzzi in here. I shit you not.463
He walks over to the phone, which has the message button blinking. He picks up the phone and calls the front desk. Sam and Lacy emerge from the bathroom.464
JAKE465
(to Bryan)466
I think we should go get wasted and leave these two alone.467
INT HOTEL ROOM, NIGHT468
Jake is making out with some random chick on the couch. Sam is fixated on the TV, Lacy is painting her toenails, and Bryan sits strumming the acoustic guitar.469
BRYAN470
(stops strumming and looks up)471
Jake, get a room!472
JAKE473
(pausing)474
I have one. But you jackasses are in it.475
(To the chick as he gets up) 476
Come on.477
He leads her into the bedroom and kicks the door closed.478
SAM479
(staring at the TV)480
Check this shit out, man…481
BRYAN482
(looking up)483
What? Oh Jesus that looks nasty!484
TV shows an operation involving a lot of blood. Sam changes the channel. It's an infomercial.485
TV486
…guaranteed to satisfy or your money back…487
SAM488
(changing channels again)489
If only hookers came with that guarantee.490
LACY and BRYAN491
Sam!492
SAM493
What?494
BRYAN495
Do you really think it's a good idea to talk like that in front of your girlfriend?496
SAM497
(tossing a pillow at Bryan)498
You are so fucking pussywhipped!499
BRYAN500
(setting the guitar down to throw the pillow back)501
Shut the fuck up!502
Sam throws the pillow again, but this time it sails over Bryan's head and smashes a lamp.503
BRYAN LACY and SAM504
Oh shit!505
JAKE506
(whipping open the door)507
What the fuck was that?508
BRYAN509
(pitching the pillow at Jake) 510
Your cherry popping, dingle berry!511
Jake slams the door shut so that the pillow bounces off it harmlessly.512
INT HOTEL ROOM, DAYLIGHT513
Sam is sprawled on the couch with Lacy in his lap, and Bryan is on the floor leaning against the couch. Jake's hookup opens the bedroom door and slips away quietly. SFX: phone ringing. Both Sam and Bryan jump.514
BRYAN515
(scratching his head and yawning)516
Yello? OK, hold on a sec.517
(shoves Sam) 518
Wake up, it's our manager…519
INT OFFICE, AFTERNOON520
Beverly sits behind her desk, shuffling papers. Oddigy walks in and looks around at the pictures and articles.521
BEVERLY522
(standing up, and walking around the desk to come shake their hands, saying their name as she greets each one.)523
Welcome, Bryan, Sam, Lacy, Jake. Please, sit down. We have a lot of material to cover before we send you off to the recording studio.524
Sam, Lacy and Jake look at Bryan.525
BRYAN526
Wow, already? We just got here.527
BEVERLY528
You only have a few months to record before the promotional tour kicks off…529
SAM530
We get to go on tour? No way!531
JAKE532
This is so fucking cool…533
LACY534
Jake!535
INT RECORDING STUDIO536
Bryan, Sam, Lacy and Jake have all the equipment on, POV from behind studio crew.537
TECH538
Once more from the chorus and that should just about do it.539
BRYAN540
(singing)541
come fly to me my wicked angel...with your blood, wash away my black sin 542
for it's your sweet perfume that I smell...let me taste the tainted love within...543
INT BAR, NIGHT544
Music now playing on the radio, the guys are sitting at a bar. POV of a person at the opposite end.545
SAM546
(waving a bottle of beer around):547
Can you believe this shit?548
JAKE549
We're on the fucking radio. I love this!550
BRYAN551
You just love the groupies. Bunch of crack whores.552
JAKE553
You shouldn't talk about yourself like that…554
BRYAN555
(throwing a peanut at him)556
Asshole.557
RADIO558
That was Petard, the latest band to hit the LA scene. Call me up, let me know if they suck or if they rock.559
Random GIRL saunters up beside Bryan. Lacy rolls her eyes.560
GIRL561
I think you guys rock!562
BRYAN563
(spinning around to face her)564
Yeah?565
GIRL566
And you're sexy.567
SAM568
Don't bother, babe. He's got a girlfriend.569
BRYAN570
So do you, dingle berry.571
JAKE572
(pinching her ass)573
I'm free. Tonight. Right now in fact.574
She turns and checks him out. They walk off. The other three exchange glances.575
INT DRESSING ROOM576
All four are getting ready, pacing around nervously.577
BRYAN578
(checking himself out in the mirror)579
Hurry up, dingle berries!580
SAM581
(pushing him out of the way)582
Move, pretty boy!583
JAKE584
(from the bathroom)585
Has anyone seen my bowl?586
BRYAN587
Up your ass!588
JAKE589
Fuck you sideways!590
SAM591
(opening the door)592
Hey, don't we get any bodyguards? Or at least escorts?593
INT LIMOUSINE, NIGHT594
All four are chatting amicably. Sam, Jake and Bryan are smoking cigarettes. Lacy is watching out the window. 595
BRYAN596
What's with the fucking paparazzi?597
SAM598
Oh, come on, you love the attention, pretty boy.599
BRYAN600
Why do you keep calling me that?601
LACY602
You didn't hear what that chick DJ said? She called you a pretty boy with a naughty side.603
JAKE604
Hey pretty boy, does Angie like it when you're naughty?605
BRYAN606
Shut the fuck up, all of you!607
Out the window, we can see a giant neon green cobra in the striking pose, with its tongue wrapped around a joint.608
DRIVER609
(getting out to open their door)610
Well, here we are. The Cobra Pit!611
JAKE612
Whoa, check out the cobra!613
SAM614
Now that's a blunt!615
INT HALLWAY OF CLUB616
A couple Security Guards stand around the guys, who are waiting behind the stage doors.617
MC (V.O.)618
Give a big Cobra Pit welcome to Oddigy!619
The crowd roars. The Guards open the doors and the guys run out on stage. Jake sits behind the drums and plays around, Sam picks up the bass and starts playing a rhythm. Lacy picks up the guitar, Bryan steps up to the mic and starts right into their first song.620
BRYAN621
(singing)622
face in the mirror, it's not my own, shake me up, make me numb... this person inside, holds the rage I fear, wake me up, make me numb... Fight the urge, from within, feel the burn, make me numb... weakness it, holds me down, can't get up, I'm so numb...623
FADE INTO NEXT SONG624
BRYAN (CONT'D)625
You say I fucked up everything, I threw it all away for nothing, But it never mattered anyway, I don't give a shit what you say... You say you don't understand me, How much clearer do I have to be, This is not an act it's how I am, what makes you think I give a damn...626
INT CLUB627
The guys are mingling with the crowd while another band plays. Use "Bottom of a Bottle"628
SES (V.O.)629
"Been scared and lonely, I've asked myself, Is something wrong with you, My girlfriend told me, I need some time alone to deal with issues …do it for the drugs, I do it just to feel alive, I do it for the love…"630
FAN631
(approaching Bryan)632
Could I maybe have your autograph?633
BRYAN634
(taking the picture and sharpie)635
Sure…636
SES (V.O.)637
"Something makes me carry on, It's difficult to understand, What I always wanna find… I do it for the drugs, I do it just to feel alive…"638
LACY639
(staring at the stage)640
Wow, those guys are good, who are they?641
JAKE642
Um, I think they call themselves Smile Empty Soul. What the fuck that means, I don't know.643
SAM644
It's beyond you, Jake.645
SES (V.O.)646
"I do it for the love, That I get from the bottom, Of a bottle"647
JAKE648
Fuck you sideways.649
LACY650
Will you two please stop? I'm going to go introduce myself to them.651
SAM652
Yeah well try not to fuck them yet, ok?653
INT HOTEL ROOM654
Sam staring at the TV again, Lacy beside him, Jake peeling labels off the empty beer bottles, and Bryan sitting on the couch, talking on the phone.655
BRYAN656
(almost whispering)657
…of course not…because I love you 658
ok, I'll see you tomorrow.659
Bryan looks out the window.660
INT AIRPORT661
Bryan and Angie embracing. Driver in the background.662
BRYAN663
…sure missed you. How were finals?664
ANGELA665
Hell. No, worse than hell. I'm so glad to be done! How did the gig at the Cobra Pit go?666
BRYAN667
It totally sucked since you weren't there…668
FADE as they walk away.669
INT COBRA PIT670
Angela sits on Bryan's lap. Lacy is next to Sam, and Jake is chatting with some female fans.671
FANS672
(running off)673
Thanks, you guys kick ass!674
ANGELA675
(whispering to Bryan)676
Can I be your groupie too?677
BRYAN678
No, I've had enough of those. I want my angel…679
ANGELA680
But I'm no angel…681
She kisses Bryan.682
SAM683
You two lovebirds make me sick. Get a room already!684
Bryan flips him the bird without stopping.685
JAKE686
That's it, I'm gonna go hook up with some random groupie. If I don't come home night, don't bother looking for me…687
INT HOTEL ROOM, NIGHT688
Sam and Lacy making out on the couch. Bryan and Angie are on the balcony. She's sitting and sketching him standing and looking down over the city with a cigarette hanging out of his mouth.689
ANGELA690
I was thinking…691
BRYAN692
(turning around, then sitting behind her)693
Yeah?694
ANGELA695
Should I move out here?696
BRYAN697
(flicking the cigarette)698
I don't know… this could just be temporary…699
ANGELA700
But this long distance shit…701
BRYAN702
(after a pause): "…you still have to graduate…"703
ANGELA704
I could transfer credits… get an internship. Whatever it takes to be near you.705
She leans back and he puts his arms around her.706
BRYAN707
This past month… I've wanted to share things with you… it's just not the same over the phone. I'd give anything to have you with me.708
ANGELA709
I know… but then again…710
BRYAN711
Parents… responsibilities?712
ANGELA713
Yeah. But I had fun tonight.714
BRYAN715
(whispering in her ear)716
It's not over yet… 717
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS2
Lyrics from “Bottom of a Bottle” by Smile Empty Soul used by permission- 3
check out www.smileemptysoul.com4
Other lyrics and quotes pending approval… may be changed.5
FADE IN6
EXT COLLEGE CAMPUS, DUSK7
Kids are walking and chatting, we see a sign announcing Battle of the Bands, listing Oddigy and others.8
INT AUDITORIUM9
Bryan, a young man with shoulder length brown hair is tuning a guitar on stage as kids filter in, mingling.10
SAM11
Hey Bryan, we got any extension cords?12
We see the first guy is Bryan… he looks around at his band mate and sets his guitar down.13
BRYAN14
(walking over)15
Yeah, I think so.16
He rummages around in a trunk, and pulls one out, handing it over. He walks back to plug his guitar into the amp. He strums a few chords and uses his toe to adjust the volume. Satisfied, he launches into the first chords of a new song he was writing, causing a few audience members to take notice. He looks up to see the school reporter and photographer there. She snaps a picture and waves. He smiles back, then turns around to see if everything is ready. Satisfied that it is, he sits on the edge of the stage to wait for the seats to fill. Another young guy joins him and twirls his drum sticks…17
JAKE18
What are we going to open with tonight?19
BRYAN20
I was thinking Cutter if you don’t have any objections.21
JAKE22
(getting up to tell the other guy)23
None here.24
He tries the first few bars of it… then checks his watch. It said quarter till, and already it was getting crowded. He decides to go have a quick smoke outside- all we see is a cigarette and lighter being removed from his pocket. He leans against the corner of the building. Many people pass him on their way in. He avoids making eye contact.25
LACY26
(Shakes head)27
I thought you’d be out here.28
BRYAN29
(snuffing it out against the wall)30
I know, I shouldn’t do this.31
They go in together and get on the stage as the emcee announces them.32
MC33
Welcome to the Battle of the Bands!34
Crowd cheers.35
MC (CONT’D)36
Westlake College is proud to reintroduce our first band, ODDIGY!37
BRYAN38
(getting settled)39
Bonjour et bienvenue! Hello, and welcome.40
(Crowd cheers again)41
BRYAN (CONT’D)42
Thank you! Tonight we’re going to play our newest song. It’s called Cutter.43
BRYAN44
(singing)45
You go through the motions, never letting your face show, any true emotions, you don’t want the world to know… Life seems to pass you by, everyone goes their own way, meanwhile you sit and cry, alone at the end of the day… I know what you’re thinking, this shit’s not worth living for, you don’t turn to drinking, like the time you did before… The edge of a razor, it brings pleasure with the pain, pushing it still deeper, let the blood run down the drain… no one needs to know, can’t ever let them know… 46
Cut to party in a dorm room, music fades out to dorm noise. Bryan and Angie entering his room, talking.47
ANGELA48
(flopping down on his bed)49
I’ve got a surprise for you, too.50
BRYAN51
(putting his guitar away)52
Really? What?53
Angie pulls two slips of paper from her pocket. C.U. shows they are concert tickets.54
ANGELA55
I scored us a pair of tickets to the Tom Petty Concert!56
BRYAN57
(hugging her)58
No fucking way!59
ANGELA60
It’s next Saturday…61
There is a knock on the door, Bryan goes to answer.62
JAKE (V.O.)63
Hey, Bry. You and Angie are missing the celebration! I’ve got some Tom Petty on.64
BRYAN 65
(opening the door)66
Well guess who just got tickets to see him live next weekend?67
ANGELA68
We did!69
JAKE70
No fucking way!71
BRYAN72
That’s what I said.73
Angie shows him. They all head down the hall to the party.74
JAKE75
Damn, how did you score such good seats?76
ANGELA77
Well, my dad works for the paper. Got a press pass too.78
BRYAN79
(shouting)80
Oh hell yeah! 81
He coughs & hacks.82
ANGELA83
That doesn’t sound good. You should quit.84
BRYAN85
I’ve tried, but these goddamned finals…86
JAKE87
Tell me about it! I was up for three nights in a row. I figured we all deserved a break, and then we kicked everyone’s asses, so…88
He opens his dorm room, it’s the same one we saw before.89
JAKE (CONT’D)90
(Hands Bryan a beer)91
Hey, everyone! Look who’s here!92
PARTYGOERS93
Hey, Bryan!94
Bryan waves his bottle of beer at them, and finds an open spot on the bed to sit on. Angie sits on his lap, playing with his hair. Cut to someone passing a joint around. Cut back to Bryan and Angie sharing the beer. He sets down the empty bottle, and someone passes him a joint.95
INT BOY’S BEDROOM, DAYTIME96
BRYAN97
Hey, Angie! Guess what?!98
INT GIRL’S BEDROOM99
ANGELAYou’re horny?100
REVERSE POV throughout101
BRYAN102
(grinning slyly)103
Jeebus. This isn’t a booty call.104
ANGELA105
(sketching a picture)106
Then what is it?107
BRYAN108
Remember the battle of the bands last month?109
ANGELA110
Of course. That was some party wasn’t it?111
BRYAN112
Yeah, but you still haven’t guessed what I called about.113
ANGELA114
Um, ok. I assume it has something to do with the band… you guys get a gig somewhere cool?115
BRYAN116
Better. We got offered a record deal!117
ANGELA118
(closing sketchbook)119
No shit?!120
BRYAN121
Yeah, this Beverly woman called and said her company would be our managers and that we get to go to LA!122
ANGELA123
LA, huh? You’ll probably fuck every groupie that throws herself at your feet.124
BRYAN125
Aw, come on. Give me some credit. You know I love you.126
ANGELA127
I know, I was just kidding. So you sure you’re not horny?128
BRYAN129
Did I say I wasn’t? I haven’t gotten laid since we went to see Tom Petty last month.130
ANGELA131
You know, we could reenact that in the back yard.132
BYRAN133
(Growls)134
Mmmm, kinky rugged sex. Sounds yummy.135
ANGELA136
So what are you waiting for? Get your ass over here.137
INT HOUSE, FRONT DOOR, AFTERNOON138
Cut to Angela’s front door, Bryan is holding a six-pack and leaning up against the doorframe.139
ANGELA140
Hey there, sexy!141
(Pulls him inside)142
What took you so long?143
BRYAN144
(sets down the case to embrace her)145
Beer.146
(Almost under his breath)147
And some other shit.148
ANGELA149
Damn, Bryan. When you do something you do it all the way.150
BRYAN151
(nibbling her ear)152
Mmm hmmm.153
EXT BACKYARD, LATE AFTERNOON154
Cut to backyard, with empty bottles lying in the grass near a blanket. Bryan and Angie are wrestling around and laughing.155
ANGELA156
(pins him down, tracing finger down his nose, across his lips, to his soul patch)157
You’re so cute.158
BRYAN159
(pushing her off and sitting up)160
You’re drunk.161
ANGELA162
But I want you so bad…163
BRYAN164
(teasing)165
What if I say you can’t have me?166
ANGELA167
(jumping back on him)168
I don’t think you have a choice…169
BRYAN170
Damn, woman. What are you trying to do?171
ANGELA172
You.173
Extreme close up, switching POV as their eyes lock. He reaches up and pulls her in for a slow, sensual kiss. Cut to Bryan smoking and looking down at Angie, whose head is in his lap. She is playing with a dandelion, then looks up at him and giggles.174
BRYAN175
What?176
ANGELA177
You look funny upside down.178
BRYAN179
Oh, yeah? Well, no more of this for you.180
He snuffs out the joint, puts it in his pocket, and then licks his fingers.181
ANGELA182
You suck!183
BRYAN184
See? You’ve got things backasswards.185
Angela leaps on him again, giggling. He rolls over on top of her. They Eskimo kiss.186
ANGELA187
You know what would taste good right now?188
BRYAN189
What? You got the munchies or something?190
ANGELA191
(jumping up)192
Yeah. Let’s hit Steak N Shake.193
BRYAN194
Oh, yeah! I’m gonna get me some onion rings!195
INT RESTAURANT LATE AFTERNOON196
Bryan and Angie are seated in the back, a WAITRESS scribbles their order on a pad and walks away. Angela doodles on the back of the placemat. Bryan lights up a cigarette.197
ANGELA198
So how did your mom take it?199
BRYAN200
(Takes a drag)201
Ha. Pissed off and worried. To put it mildly. 202
ANGELA203
Well, you’re all she’s got.204
BRYAN205
(mumbling)206
It’s not my fault. That pig fucker, I hope he rots in hell.207
ANGELA208
(putting down the pen and lowering her voice)209
Bryan, your dad had a disease.210
Flash of black & white image, a young Bryan cowering.211
BRYAN212
(gritting teeth but trying to stay calm)213
Disease my ass! I don’t think I will ever forgive the bastard for what he did.214
(Their eyes meet, his are angry, hers concerned)215
He fucking ruined our lives, Angie. Fuck him!216
He sits looking out the window, clenching and unclenching his left hand and smoking.217
WAITRESS218
(quickly setting down their order)219
Here you go. Let me know if you need anything else.220
ANGELA221
Thanks.222
Bryan snuffs out his cigarette and attacks the onion rings with a fork.223
EXT ROAD, NEARLY DUSK.224
The car speeds down the road, kicking up dust and rocks.225
INT CAR, NEARLY DUSK.226
ANGELA227
You wanna slow down?228
Bryan glares at her.229
ANGELA (CONT’D)230
Sheesh, sorry.231
In the mirror, a police car pulls out of a driveway. Sirens and lights go off, making them take notice.232
BRYAN233
Fuck!234
(He pounds his fist on the wheel)235
Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck!236
ANGELA237
(under her breath)238
…told you to slow down…239
Bryan growls as the car slams to a halt on the edge of a field. The police car stops right behind, and the policeman gets out. Bryan reaches over to open the glove box for the registration and then pulls his wallet out of is pocket to retrieve his license. We see the partially smoked joint fall onto his lap, then between his legs.240
POLICEMAN241
(shooting them a quizzical glance)242
Well, well, well. If it’s not Bryan and Angie! What are you two doing here?243
ANGELA244
(staring out the opposite window)245
Spring break.246
POLICEMAN247
(beginning to write a ticket)248
I see.249
(Looking up at Bryan, and holding out his hand)250
Son, do you know how fast you were going?251
BRYAN252
(mumbling as he hands over the license and registration)253
Too fast?254
POLICEMAN255
(glaring at him)256
Could you repeat that?257
BRYAN258
(turning to look at him)259
Sorry. I said I was going too fast.260
POLICEMAN261
(finishes writing)262
You certainly were. 263
He hands over the ticket, Bryan’s license, and the registration, and then walks away.264
BRYAN265
(handing the ticket and registration to Angie)266
Here.267
He puts his license back in his wallet, and that in his pocket, and starts the car up again. He watches the police car pull away in the rearview.268
ANGELA269
(putting away the registration while reading the ticket)270
Holy shit! A hundred and eighty dollars!271
BRYAN272
Jesus H Christ! Are you serious?273
He snatches it from her, looks, crumples it and throws it in the back seat.274
ANGELA275
You might want to actually pay that.276
BRYAN277
What I want to do is shove it up that pig’s fat ass, but apparently the motherfucker’s head is already up there.278
ANGELA279
(noticing the joint)280
It could have been a whole lot worse.281
BRYAN282
What do you mean?283
ANGELA284
(reaching over to pick it up)285
He could have seen this.286
BRYAN287
(looking relieved)288
Shit, give me that.289
He steers with his knees as he lights it, takes a toke, makes a face, exhales with a sigh, and then passes it to Angie. She hesitates, and then takes a toke. She hands it back to him and leans in close.290
ANGELA291
So, you want to come over tonight? My dad’s away on assignment.292
BRYAN293
OK… You think he doesn’t know?294
ANGELA295
I seriously doubt it. He’s either blind or in denial.296
BRYAN297
How is Egypt this time of year?298
Angela snorts and sits back.299
INT ANGELA’S BEDROOM- NIGHT300
Angela is sitting cross-legged on the bed, facing Bryan and sketching him as he flips through the channels.301
BRYAN302
This sucks. Nothing’s on.303
ANGELA304
Sit still. I’m almost done.305
He reaches over to caress her leg. She looks up and smiles.306
BRYAN307
(turning off the TV and tossing the remote on the nightstand)308
Je desire te baisser.309
Subtitle: I want you.310
ANGELA311
(setting aside the sketch, then interlacing fingers with him)312
OK, you win. Tu sais je ne puis pas te resister quand tu parle francais.313
Subtitle: You know I can't resist you when you speak French.314
BRYAN315
(nuzzling her neck)316
Oui, je le sais bien, ma petite ange.317
Subtitle: Yes, I’m well aware, my little Angel.318
ANGELA319
(sly grin)320
Je ne suis pas une ange.321
Subtitle: I’m no angel.322
She kisses him as they lay back, and she turns off the light.323
INT ANGELA’S BEDROOM. DAYLIGHT324
Angela and Bryan are asleep, spooning. 325
SFX: Phone ringing326
ANGELA327
(lifting phone off hook)328
Hello? Oh, hi, Mrs. Taylor… Yeah, he is… Ok, I’ll tell him. Bye.329
She hangs up, and then rolls over to face Bryan, who is pretending to still be asleep.330
ANGELA (CONT’D)331
She says come home and rake the leaves.332
BRYAN333
(yawning and stretching, then holding his head)334
Shit. I have the worst hangover in my life.335
He grabs the pillow and puts it over his head, and mumbles into it.336
ANGELA337
(lifting the pillow)338
What was that?339
BRYAN340
I said I don’t wanna rake leaves today. I feel like shit.341
He pulls the pillow back down.342
ANGELA343
And you look like it too.344
EXT YARD, MIDMORNING345
Bryan leans the rake up against the tree, and goes to sit on the porch to have a smoke. His mother comes out and sits beside him.346
MARGARET347
I hope you and Angie are being careful. It would be a shame if something happened before graduation.348
BRYAN349
Spare me, mom. We’re both adults.350
MARGARET351
Bryan, I’m still your mother. I want what’s best for you.352
BRYAN353
What about what I want? Doesn’t that matter?354
MARGARET355
You can’t always get what you want. I wish you’d give up this silly idea of going to LA. It’s just not a stable career choice.356
BRYAN357
(irritated)358
Maybe I don’t want stability. Maybe I just want to enjoy my life.359
MARGARET360
(getting up, exasperated)361
Sooner or later you’re going to have to face up to reality, Bryan. If you don’t take responsibility for the things you do, you’re going to end up just like your father.362
She walks in the house and slams the door shut.363
BRYAN364
(really pissed, walking away, muttering to himself)365
I can’t believe this shit…366
INT LIVING ROOM, ABOUT NOON367
Angela is sitting on the couch, stroking Bryan’s hair as he chain-smokes and animatedly recounts the fight between he and his mother. She soothes him, and finally they embrace.368
BG music “Silhouettes” or “Therapy” by Smile Empty Soul.369
INT AIRPORT EVENING370
Angie and Bryan embracing at the gate. SFX: flight boarding announcement.371
ANGELA372
Wish I could come with you.373
BRYAN374
Me, too. I'm going to miss you…375
JAKE376
Come on, you pussy. The steel bird is going to fly without us.377
Bryan ignores him and kisses Angie.378
SAM379
Bryan, enough already. You'll see her in a month.380
Lacy glares at Sam. Bryan reluctantly pulls away and looks at Angie.381
ANGELA382
(She starts to walk away)383
…call me as soon as you get in, promise?384
BRYAN385
I promise…386
He glares at Sam who is pulling him by his arm. They follow Jake and Lacy down the ramp.387
INT AIRPLANE388
Bryan flips through the on flight magazine, Sam and Jake are checking out the other passengers. A flight attendant walks past.389
JAKE390
Hey Bryan, did you see the ass on that stewardess?391
BRYAN392
(not looking up)393
Nice try, asshole. I'm not interested.394
JAKE395
You're pussywhipped.396
BRYAN397
At least I'm getting some.398
JAKE399
Fuck you!400
SAM401
(to Jake)402
Son of a bitch thinks he's the only one who gets laid.403
LACY404
Keep it up and he will be.405
INT AIRPORT, MIDNIGHT406
Sam, Bryan and Jake exiting the plane.407
SAM408
…and so she calls me a selfish bastard.409
JAKE410
What a bitch.411
SAM412
No shit.413
Lacy slaps him.414
SAM (CONT'D)415
Damn, that hurt! Hey Bryan, you ok? You haven't said a word in five hours.416
BRYAN417
You guys haven't shut the fuck up for five hours.418
JAKE419
Hey, don't get pissy with us, man.420
SAM421
(to Jake)422
I think he's going through fucking withdrawal.423
They both laugh, and Bryan spins around.424
BRYAN425
(pointing to each of them in turn)426
Fuck you, and fuck you, and I feel bad for you. Now, I don't want to hear any more of your bullshit.427
He spins back around. Sam and Jake exchange glances, holding back their laughter and comments.428
INT HOTEL LOBBY429
Sam, Lacy, Jake and Bryan are at the check in desk, signing in and taking their keys. They all pile into the elevator.430
JAKE431
I wonder if there's a minibar. I could use a good buzz right now.432
SAM433
Jake, you're such a lush. There's a real bar downstairs where you can find some California booty.434
JAKE435
Hey! Maybe we could hook up with a porn star!436
BRYAN437
(to Lacy)438
Animals. My friends are fucking animals.439
JAKE440
Now there's a unique idea.441
Bryan glares at him as they get off the elevator. Sam, Lacy and Jake follow him to a door marked 1408.442
SAM443
You said it, man.444
(He looks up and down the hall)445
Do we have this whole floor to ourselves or what?446
A woman opens a door down the hall, looks at the guys, waves, and closes the door. Jake nudges Sam, who spins around to look.447
JAKE448
We are definitely not alone.449
BRYAN450
While you two dingle berries decide who's going to talk to her first, I'm going to actually go in our room.451
He opens the door, tosses his carryon to the side, and flips on the lights. Sam and Jake walk in beside him. They look in all directions. Bryan walks around looking at stuff.452
SAM453
Holy shit! A plasma TV!454
He runs and jumps on one of the huge couches.455
LACY456
I wonder what's on at this hour?457
JAKE458
Well fuck me Freddy, there is a minibar.459
He grabs a beer and closes the door with his foot.460
BRYAN461
(emerging from the bathroom)462
Guys, there is a huge ass Jacuzzi in here. I shit you not.463
He walks over to the phone, which has the message button blinking. He picks up the phone and calls the front desk. Sam and Lacy emerge from the bathroom.464
JAKE465
(to Bryan)466
I think we should go get wasted and leave these two alone.467
INT HOTEL ROOM, NIGHT468
Jake is making out with some random chick on the couch. Sam is fixated on the TV, Lacy is painting her toenails, and Bryan sits strumming the acoustic guitar.469
BRYAN470
(stops strumming and looks up)471
Jake, get a room!472
JAKE473
(pausing)474
I have one. But you jackasses are in it.475
(To the chick as he gets up) 476
Come on.477
He leads her into the bedroom and kicks the door closed.478
SAM479
(staring at the TV)480
Check this shit out, man…481
BRYAN482
(looking up)483
What? Oh Jesus that looks nasty!484
TV shows an operation involving a lot of blood. Sam changes the channel. It's an infomercial.485
TV486
…guaranteed to satisfy or your money back…487
SAM488
(changing channels again)489
If only hookers came with that guarantee.490
LACY and BRYAN491
Sam!492
SAM493
What?494
BRYAN495
Do you really think it's a good idea to talk like that in front of your girlfriend?496
SAM497
(tossing a pillow at Bryan)498
You are so fucking pussywhipped!499
BRYAN500
(setting the guitar down to throw the pillow back)501
Shut the fuck up!502
Sam throws the pillow again, but this time it sails over Bryan's head and smashes a lamp.503
BRYAN LACY and SAM504
Oh shit!505
JAKE506
(whipping open the door)507
What the fuck was that?508
BRYAN509
(pitching the pillow at Jake) 510
Your cherry popping, dingle berry!511
Jake slams the door shut so that the pillow bounces off it harmlessly.512
INT HOTEL ROOM, DAYLIGHT513
Sam is sprawled on the couch with Lacy in his lap, and Bryan is on the floor leaning against the couch. Jake's hookup opens the bedroom door and slips away quietly. SFX: phone ringing. Both Sam and Bryan jump.514
BRYAN515
(scratching his head and yawning)516
Yello? OK, hold on a sec.517
(shoves Sam) 518
Wake up, it's our manager…519
INT OFFICE, AFTERNOON520
Beverly sits behind her desk, shuffling papers. Oddigy walks in and looks around at the pictures and articles.521
BEVERLY522
(standing up, and walking around the desk to come shake their hands, saying their name as she greets each one.)523
Welcome, Bryan, Sam, Lacy, Jake. Please, sit down. We have a lot of material to cover before we send you off to the recording studio.524
Sam, Lacy and Jake look at Bryan.525
BRYAN526
Wow, already? We just got here.527
BEVERLY528
You only have a few months to record before the promotional tour kicks off…529
SAM530
We get to go on tour? No way!531
JAKE532
This is so fucking cool…533
LACY534
Jake!535
INT RECORDING STUDIO536
Bryan, Sam, Lacy and Jake have all the equipment on, POV from behind studio crew.537
TECH538
Once more from the chorus and that should just about do it.539
BRYAN540
(singing)541
come fly to me my wicked angel...with your blood, wash away my black sin 542
for it's your sweet perfume that I smell...let me taste the tainted love within...543
INT BAR, NIGHT544
Music now playing on the radio, the guys are sitting at a bar. POV of a person at the opposite end.545
SAM546
(waving a bottle of beer around):547
Can you believe this shit?548
JAKE549
We're on the fucking radio. I love this!550
BRYAN551
You just love the groupies. Bunch of crack whores.552
JAKE553
You shouldn't talk about yourself like that…554
BRYAN555
(throwing a peanut at him)556
Asshole.557
RADIO558
That was Petard, the latest band to hit the LA scene. Call me up, let me know if they suck or if they rock.559
Random GIRL saunters up beside Bryan. Lacy rolls her eyes.560
GIRL561
I think you guys rock!562
BRYAN563
(spinning around to face her)564
Yeah?565
GIRL566
And you're sexy.567
SAM568
Don't bother, babe. He's got a girlfriend.569
BRYAN570
So do you, dingle berry.571
JAKE572
(pinching her ass)573
I'm free. Tonight. Right now in fact.574
She turns and checks him out. They walk off. The other three exchange glances.575
INT DRESSING ROOM576
All four are getting ready, pacing around nervously.577
BRYAN578
(checking himself out in the mirror)579
Hurry up, dingle berries!580
SAM581
(pushing him out of the way)582
Move, pretty boy!583
JAKE584
(from the bathroom)585
Has anyone seen my bowl?586
BRYAN587
Up your ass!588
JAKE589
Fuck you sideways!590
SAM591
(opening the door)592
Hey, don't we get any bodyguards? Or at least escorts?593
INT LIMOUSINE, NIGHT594
All four are chatting amicably. Sam, Jake and Bryan are smoking cigarettes. Lacy is watching out the window. 595
BRYAN596
What's with the fucking paparazzi?597
SAM598
Oh, come on, you love the attention, pretty boy.599
BRYAN600
Why do you keep calling me that?601
LACY602
You didn't hear what that chick DJ said? She called you a pretty boy with a naughty side.603
JAKE604
Hey pretty boy, does Angie like it when you're naughty?605
BRYAN606
Shut the fuck up, all of you!607
Out the window, we can see a giant neon green cobra in the striking pose, with its tongue wrapped around a joint.608
DRIVER609
(getting out to open their door)610
Well, here we are. The Cobra Pit!611
JAKE612
Whoa, check out the cobra!613
SAM614
Now that's a blunt!615
INT HALLWAY OF CLUB616
A couple Security Guards stand around the guys, who are waiting behind the stage doors.617
MC (V.O.)618
Give a big Cobra Pit welcome to Oddigy!619
The crowd roars. The Guards open the doors and the guys run out on stage. Jake sits behind the drums and plays around, Sam picks up the bass and starts playing a rhythm. Lacy picks up the guitar, Bryan steps up to the mic and starts right into their first song.620
BRYAN621
(singing)622
face in the mirror, it's not my own, shake me up, make me numb... this person inside, holds the rage I fear, wake me up, make me numb... Fight the urge, from within, feel the burn, make me numb... weakness it, holds me down, can't get up, I'm so numb...623
FADE INTO NEXT SONG624
BRYAN (CONT'D)625
You say I fucked up everything, I threw it all away for nothing, But it never mattered anyway, I don't give a shit what you say... You say you don't understand me, How much clearer do I have to be, This is not an act it's how I am, what makes you think I give a damn...626
INT CLUB627
The guys are mingling with the crowd while another band plays. Use "Bottom of a Bottle"628
SES (V.O.)629
"Been scared and lonely, I've asked myself, Is something wrong with you, My girlfriend told me, I need some time alone to deal with issues …do it for the drugs, I do it just to feel alive, I do it for the love…"630
FAN631
(approaching Bryan)632
Could I maybe have your autograph?633
BRYAN634
(taking the picture and sharpie)635
Sure…636
SES (V.O.)637
"Something makes me carry on, It's difficult to understand, What I always wanna find… I do it for the drugs, I do it just to feel alive…"638
LACY639
(staring at the stage)640
Wow, those guys are good, who are they?641
JAKE642
Um, I think they call themselves Smile Empty Soul. What the fuck that means, I don't know.643
SAM644
It's beyond you, Jake.645
SES (V.O.)646
"I do it for the love, That I get from the bottom, Of a bottle"647
JAKE648
Fuck you sideways.649
LACY650
Will you two please stop? I'm going to go introduce myself to them.651
SAM652
Yeah well try not to fuck them yet, ok?653
INT HOTEL ROOM654
Sam staring at the TV again, Lacy beside him, Jake peeling labels off the empty beer bottles, and Bryan sitting on the couch, talking on the phone.655
BRYAN656
(almost whispering)657
…of course not…because I love you 658
ok, I'll see you tomorrow.659
Bryan looks out the window.660
INT AIRPORT661
Bryan and Angie embracing. Driver in the background.662
BRYAN663
…sure missed you. How were finals?664
ANGELA665
Hell. No, worse than hell. I'm so glad to be done! How did the gig at the Cobra Pit go?666
BRYAN667
It totally sucked since you weren't there…668
FADE as they walk away.669
INT COBRA PIT670
Angela sits on Bryan's lap. Lacy is next to Sam, and Jake is chatting with some female fans.671
FANS672
(running off)673
Thanks, you guys kick ass!674
ANGELA675
(whispering to Bryan)676
Can I be your groupie too?677
BRYAN678
No, I've had enough of those. I want my angel…679
ANGELA680
But I'm no angel…681
She kisses Bryan.682
SAM683
You two lovebirds make me sick. Get a room already!684
Bryan flips him the bird without stopping.685
JAKE686
That's it, I'm gonna go hook up with some random groupie. If I don't come home night, don't bother looking for me…687
INT HOTEL ROOM, NIGHT688
Sam and Lacy making out on the couch. Bryan and Angie are on the balcony. She's sitting and sketching him standing and looking down over the city with a cigarette hanging out of his mouth.689
ANGELA690
I was thinking…691
BRYAN692
(turning around, then sitting behind her)693
Yeah?694
ANGELA695
Should I move out here?696
BRYAN697
(flicking the cigarette)698
I don't know… this could just be temporary…699
ANGELA700
But this long distance shit…701
BRYAN702
(after a pause): "…you still have to graduate…"703
ANGELA704
I could transfer credits… get an internship. Whatever it takes to be near you.705
She leans back and he puts his arms around her.706
BRYAN707
This past month… I've wanted to share things with you… it's just not the same over the phone. I'd give anything to have you with me.708
ANGELA709
I know… but then again…710
BRYAN711
Parents… responsibilities?712
ANGELA713
Yeah. But I had fun tonight.714
BRYAN715
(whispering in her ear)716
It's not over yet… 717
Author notes
I would be happy to show the full version to anyone interested. I am currently working on draft #4.
What did you think? Please comment!
Comments
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It has a nice story to it. I found the set-up of the script a little confusing. The script worked, it just needs a better set-up. The ulitimate story line needs a little more to it. There's obviously problems between Bryan and his father, give us a little more clue to that. I'm going to assume this isn't the piece in its entirety.
beginning: 3, language: 4, plot: 3, overall: 6, ending: 2, dialog: 2, characters: 3.
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LOL thanks. I assume your motto is in reference to Nickelodeon?
Such as Ren & Stimpy? I must agree
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Cool.
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Well, this isn't the whole screenplay of course... I should post the whole one. We're changing some plot twists for it now... adding in drama was too much... we're going to focus on romantic comedy for this and then introduce drama for the sequel.
As for my other work, I have a few novels started, and some short stories. Not everything I've written is on here yet... some of it's in notebooks which are packed away. I used to get too many ideas at once and never finished anything
Well thanks for the feedback! -
Hey, I just got through reading this (I'm in the Screenwriters group) and I gotta say it is pretty good.
I don't think there was too much cussing, mainly because I tend to overuse it a bit :-P, but I do think that it was kinda redundant in some places, and it needed to be elaborated on in others. I mean, a lot of the time, you'd have some good dialogue going, but then you'd just stop it right then and there.
Also, some of the dialogue seemed a little hokey to me. I mean, I checked your author page and while you've written many many poems, you haven't really written many stories, so maybe you aren't great with dialogue, but it just kinda seemed like it was straight out of a made-for-TV special or something. No offense, though, it was still pretty good, I'm just not really into the whole "striving rock band" genre :-P
So, as you said, you would "return the favor" for critiquing, so I'd be happy if you could critique Anvil for me, I'd like another screenwriter's POV.
Erm--It's a tad bit longer, though. Yours is er--25 pages and Anvil is--118 pages (I was going for feature-film length).
How long would that make yours? Like, 18-20 minutes? Yeah, I was shooting for at least 90 with Anvil, maybe longer, horror movies tend to stretch a little bit. You don't have to read it if you don't want to, but it would be much appreciated. -
I agree that we all have rights when it comes to freedom of speech. In my opinion, there was too much cussing, but that's my personal opinion, most likely because I don't cuss at all. Yet it was a finely written piece, and you really do have a talent for writing.
I'm glad that there are no hard feelings
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That's ok with me... I'm of the belief that you must write the story the way it wants to be written, let the characters speak for themselves. I'm also strongly anti- censorship but I certainly won't hold any ill feelings towards you. To each his or her own, I suppose. Thanks for the compliment on my characters.
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I am going to have to disqualify this on the poor language throughout this piece. While I did say it was all right to use, it is my belief that you went overboard. You do however, have quite a handle on how people relate to each other, and have shown a nice growth within your characters. Thank you for entering and all my best to you.
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The script was originally written that the band would be opening for SES... that idea has since been changed... and dingleberry is likely going to change to douchebag, etc...
thanks for the feedback! -
Content-wise... The only thing I'd do is take out all the "shoutouts" to Smile Empty Soul. It just feels a little too much like fanfic, and a little too obsequious. "These guys (who happen to be the author's favorite band) are pretty good. Maybe we could hang out with them later?"
Also, you use the word "dingle berry" quite a bit. It seems a bit juvenile considering the purported ages (21-23?) of your characters. -
The name change is in the newer version of the script.. I wasn't able to open the file using Word... so there's a few slipups I'm sure. Content- wise, do you have any crits?
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RADIO
That was Petard, the latest band to hit the LA scene. Call me up, let me know if they suck or if they rock.
~~~
Did you change the name of the band? I was wondering why they call themselves Oddigy, and the radio DJ calls them Petard... -
Very inbteresting, did take some time to read, but it was good...............I wish you luck in the contest............
take care
Sanity.
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hmmmmm, okay, took some time to read, was pretty good
thanks for sharing with the all poetry members! keep me updated if you add to it!
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12 old applause
