Apathy (test two)

The clock read 8:30 pm. Too late to do anything important, too early to go to bed.

Truth be told, she didn't want to do either. She didn't want to write, or read... didn't want to listen to music or wander around the house in that half daze of boredom. She didn't want to sleep, sleep was too easy a solution - the best solution - but one she still didn't want to observe.

Karol lay flat on her back, staring blankly at the ceiling above her. She didn't want to do anything, it seemed... and though she knew just laying here and repeating over and over in her head that she didn't want to do this or that was a waste of time, it's all she had the energy for.

She hadn't eaten dinner yet, no doubt the left overs were already tucked away in the firdge, ready to heat in the microwave should she care for some later. She knew right now that her family was probably watching a movie in the living room, Friday nights were always family nights... but she really didn't care.

She didn't want to eat, didn't want to sit uncomfortably in a lounge chair watching a movie she had no desire to watch only to fall asleep half way through it - still to early for bed. She didn't care that her family had looked forward to their time together, that they had wanted her there... it just didn't matter.

So instead she lay, still and silent in her own room on her bed, staring at the ceiling with the door to her bedroom between her and the world. Later she would fall asleep, having still not convinced herself that she actually wanted to do anything. A few hours she would wake to a hungry stomach and the lightening of her current mood... but she didn't know this.

All she knew was at this time, though she didn't care if she existed or not, she knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that she just didn't care to do anything by lay back and watch the world go by. What else could she do anyway?