A big, long and wide grassy plain streched across the whole area.
The plain was several miles in each direction.
The plain was relatively flat, with the exeption of a couple of big rocks and small hills.
No flowers, trees or other growths than grass grew on the plain.
The grass was dry and the weather was hot, though not too dry or too hot.
In the middle of the plain ran two persons, a man and a woman, and they both looked immensely happy.
They ran hand in hand while shouting, talking and having a great time.
The world had probably never seen a more beautiful couple.
The couple were dressed in silk and velvet, though they were not wearing too much clothes, just enough for a hot summerday like this.
Sometimes they stopped and kissed eachother, but mostly they just ran around in perfect happiness.
They almost danced around the plain... None of them had had such an intense feeling of happiness before.
None of them stopped smiling while running, not even for a second.
They didn't run because of the pleasure of running, no, they didn't really know why they ran, but they just had to do something to express their true happiness and love... So they ran.
They ran for hours out in the sun, but they didn't tire.
They ran arm in arm, kissing and happy.
Their feelings couldn't be described by any words.
Then, suddenly she fell... She stmbled on a big rock.
He tried to hold her up, but her hand slipped from his as she fell.
She fell heavily, with her head smashing into a rock.
She started bleeding heavily. He kneeled beside her.
He turned her around, face up against the sky.
He dried off the blood from her face.
The he kissed her gently on the lips and stroke her hair away from her forehead with a carefull touch.
"Are you allright?" He asked.
She lay there quiet, eyes closed.
He saw that she was no longer breathing.
Suddenly someone appeared behind her cold body.
The man who kissed her looked up at the creature when it appeared.
'The creature' was a young woman with long white hair.
Her cloths were also white... Even her skin was white... And her wings.
She had to be an angel.
The angel smiled at the grieving man.
"I have come to take her away" said the angel.
Even though the man had known all along, he didn't want to believe that his love was dead, not until the angel said so.
Then he started crying, uncontrolled, almost like a child.
But one could easily understand him.
"Can you not spare her?" He asked trough his tears.
"No.. I'm afraid I can not" The angel answered in a sypathetic and sad voice.
"Can you take me instead?" the man asked the angel...
The seemingly dead woman laying on the ground slowly opened her eyes.
By her side lay a dead man.
The woman had overheard a conversation between the man and an angel.
The angel was gone now... The man was dead.
He had died for her sake... She was grateful, but didn't he know that he was her whole life?
She cried herself trough the night, and in the morning, she was dead aswell. It was what she wanted.
The man and the woman met again, in another place.
There they ran together, hand in hand in the eternal plains.
A contest entry
- Wings of Flame by Christa Steiner.
175 points, ended February 23, 2007, 9 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - LOVE! by Taylor Renee.
200 points, ended February 24, 2007, 23 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - HUGE POINTS!!! by beezy92.
1175 points, ended April 22, 2007, 38 entries
Honorable mention
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Happy Endings Do Come True (Romance) by Dreams of Insanity.
175 points, ended May 23, 2007, 14 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 23 of 23
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Its Beautiful
I really love this. I would have cried if my class mates weren't near me, it was lovely. I think this is a story That will stay with me for a long time...
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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man I cried ... dont even ask me why but it hit me hard and man I cried... feel very honoured for it is rare in a story i cry
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Alright. I love your writing. It's so...fantastic. I see why Soda raved about it.
No complaint/criticisms on it except as I've said before the spacing is weird...and you said allright once instead of alright. Great job!
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Aww. A very touching story. I like the repetion thing, like in the beginning the use of the same words over again close together.. It somehow.. worked.
Good stuff, man. Amazing work.
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great
so nice..*sniff* almost brought tears to my eyes. so emotional.it was wonderful...thanks for entering. -
Awww... This was undoubtedly sweet... Gave me chills at the end. It sort of reminded me of Romeo and Juliet a tiny bit, but it was definitely your own.
I liked your descriptions mainly because it wasn't TOO much and not TOO little.. Good job on that...
And I sort of agree with B roadway "Every sentence doesn't need its own line", but it made this unique and gave you as a writer, its own style.
I love how he exchanged his life for hers.. And at the end how they ran together in the plain again, hand in hand.
You did a great job on this piece, for sure. Can't wait to see more of your works
<3
Ana
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Well it's a bit to romantic for me but hey I aint a big fan. Most of your stories have as much as I can see almost the same theme, but each is so origonal, I don't get how you do it.
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i love the idea
but it needs work. eery sentence doens't need its own line. i think i tneeds some finetuning. read over each sentence and perfect it as best you can (= good luck in my contest! -
truly awesome
this story is so touching. its as if you can see it in your mind. i loved the way you made everything seem so perfect until the woman fell and dies. i think you should've made her death a little more dramatic or prolonged. maybe she could've hit her head and waited for a few minutes, and in that time she could've just been confessing her love to that man. or maybe she could've fallen on a sharp rock and put a hole through her torso. but any way you write it i still love the ending. how she was so in love with this man she died of greif knowing she would see him again.
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whoa :O
That was abrupt, when she fell the whole story turned around so fast which was pretty kool. I love the idea, the idea of him sacrificing himself for her. I love how you ended it with them being together anyway. Great story!
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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Ohhh that was awesome! It was such a unique story, with great emotion. Wonderful piece I loved it.
xoxo
Kelsey -
Nice
Nice work you have here. Really deserves the gold you won for it. The mixture of categories made this come off being really unique. -
Wow! That was an awesome story!!
I just love it!! It really surprised me when she fell. It was all happy and then, FWAM!! (f - wa - m is how 'Fwam' is pronounced) It kinda scared me but it had a wonderful ending. 
Good luck in the contest!!
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im seriously like, gonna so cry right now!!! its happy then sad then happy again....*tear* amazing job!!!
Tay -
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Hehe, thank you alot
Glad to see it's appriciated
Thanks
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AWWWWWWWWWWW, *cries* this is sooooooooo sad. And This is the kind of stories that I like to see. GREAT JOB!!!!!!!
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Thank you sooo much Shrimpy
Really appriciated
I won
Thanks
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sadness and joy mixed into something beautiful. nice job!
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Thank you for that
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nice title, nice picture and background everything matches your story petect and i also think the story is great ... nice work
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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A very good story here, I think if you chose to you cold expand it you would have a great story to publish.
Well written and a smooth read.
Keep up the good work
~Princess~
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Thanks for the comment, and I just might try to expand it, tnx
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