The princess was sitting there on her high throne. Well, actually, there was no princess and no throne, but the blacksmiths daughter and a small wooden chair. But in His eyes, she was a princess. He stood there for a long time and just watched her, the room was so crowded that no-one was going to notice it anyway. She was sitting there talking to one of the local noble-youngsters. The nobleman had always been interested in her, but only because of her stunning beuty. It had never been that way for Him, no, He loved her for all that she was... inside. But she only viewed him as a good friend, she didn't know what feelings he hid inside. But He couldn't blame her... He was not especially good at showing his feelings, He knew that. But now, the wedding they were both guests at was soon done, and people started leaving.
When everyone went home, and even the cleaners started leaving, He hurried out and hid behind a tree. He stood there and waited for the princess... He wanted to talk to her. He saw her coming out, but stood his ground, because together with her, came the nobelman. The nobleman kissed the princess and bowed as he thanked her for the evening. Behind the tree it was boiling inside the peeping tom. Why couldn't He just have the princess for himself? He tightened his fists and shed a tear spawned of anger. He stood there watching the princess and the nobleman part, and then He followed. But no, He didn't follow the beautiful princess with the long dark hair, no, He followed the handsome-born nobleman. He followed him at a distance. He knew that the nobleman had to cross the woods to get home, and He was willing to bet that He knew the woods better than the Nobleman.
As they both entered the woods, He picked up a long stick, he figured he could use it as a walking-stick before he used it for his true intention. He saw the nobleman infront of Him, it was obvious that He had not yet been spotted. He smiled at Himself as He walked there, right behind the nobelman... With the long, pointy stick resting in his hand. Then the nobleman suddenly stopped, his stalker stopped aswell. The smiling stalker was watching the nobleman quietly as he started practising a marriage-preposal. "oh no, he wants to marry the princess" thought the stalker to himself. Then He raised His stick high into the air and ran over to the nobelman. The nobleman did not expect the first strike and was caught by surprise. Strike after strike, the stick struck the nobleman until he eventually was impaled by it. The nobelman gasped for air as he lay on the ground and caughed blood. Slowly, the formerly happy nobleman closed his eyes. The stalker with the stick just stood there laughing.
He smiled at himself as He walked towards home. He had eliminated his competitoner. Now He once again had a long time before He had to reveal his feelings towards teh princess, and He was glad, because He wasn't exactly planning on doing it soon. In fact, He couldn't do it anytime soon, no, He had to wait. He regretted that He hadn't done it a couple of years ago... back when he was still alive.
(My apologies for typos and the like... I'm not English =D)
A contest entry
- This place is great, but the MOOSE has got to go! by I Am Gun.
200 points, ended February 26, 2007, 14 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Twist.. o_O by Ziee...
130 points, ended August 25, 2007, 11 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Would be cool if you told me your opinions on this one :)
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
-
It confused me. I don't know why,but it did. Maybe cause I'm doing like 30 other things..It was still pretty good though, despite my confusion. God job.
-
It was pretty good. A few things though.
There haven't been Nobles and Princesses (that actually have power at least) for a thousand years, so I think there should have been a little detailing of the scenery and what-not. Then, there was the fact that a lot of Kings used to make Nobles live in the castle with them so he could watch over them. There were to many He's- 'tis confused me a bit. Personally, I thought how he killed him with a stick was a little, far-fetched? It's probably just me. There weren't to many spelling errors. Otherwise, lovely. -
-
Hehe, I know that the whole story is far-fetched
It is not my best piece of work... But I let it stay
This was actually conceived while I was bored out on some island
A work of haste, and, translated from Norwegian into English... Pretty roughly
So, thanks for the comment =)
-
-
umm
wow it was deep, hahahaha i was kidding no offenece -
-
Hehe
None taken, not supposed to be deep
-
-
all the 'he's' get kind of confusing, but it's interesting and good
-
-
I always get problems by writing to many of those he's and.... See, I don't like naming the characters, but then I screw up anyway...
-
-
everyone in your stories seems to be dead. lol
great job! -
-
Either dead or dying... That's the way I write
Hehe, tnx for your comments
-
-
THis was a very good story. Well written. I felt bad for the noble man but oh well. Interesting that the boy seems to be dead? Well I liked it. And dont worry I make typos all the time and I am English...so don't worry we all do it! *claps*
Adding your comment:
1 - 10 of 10
