Unexpected Genesis

The last 4 light years had been unbearable for Adam. While he loved the sights and solitude of interstellar travel, his wife Eve didn't. She was VERY unhappy and determined that he would join her. Adam stared straight ahead, steering his Wundalust Astrocruiser through the void between stars. Adam had also turned off his auditory implant. He loved his hearing loss. Eve's voice could only be felt via a dull, buzzing vibration through his skin.

There they were, a good 10.3 light years from a decent hotel, in the middle of nowhere and Eve had to pee... for two days now and counting. She had tolerated it for a while and, for the most part, found her discomfort was eased a bit by screaming at Adam. It [i]was[/i] his fault. Adam had forgotten to empty the holding tank at the last planet stop they made. Now the tanks were full... Completely full.

It's not that Eve was mad at Adam, although she was. It's not that Eve was spoiled... perhaps just a little. Eve just never wanted it to be like this. Eve missed the comforts a nice safe retirement planet would have offered. She resented Adam's insistence on retiring among the stars. Eve knew stars. Hot, filthy, blinding gas bags surrounded by vermin filled, unspeakably horrid planets... no good restaurants, dismal overpriced shopping and bad TV reception.

Adam coaxed a bit more speed out of the star drive. They had passed 3 Class M planets so far, but Eve was not happy with any of them. One was too hot, another too cold and the last one didn't have clean restrooms. Now as they continued on to a fourth, Adam took a shortcut through an express wormhole to save some time. It placed them in a primitive part of galaxy's unfashionable west end.

This "suburb" was way off the stellar routes, undeveloped and uninhabited. It was the perfect place to flush his sewage system. After some quick scans of the area, the ship located a system with 4 squalid clumps and bunch of gas giants. Adam avoided gas giants. Too much radiation and gravity. And don't get him started about rings. But there were other concerns.

Adam also needed a place Eve would approve of. The first two clumps were too hot. He'd been through that... no. The fourth was too cold... same problem... Only planet 3 offered hope. Here he made a mistake... actually 2 mistakes. He turned his auditory implant back on and he pointed the planet out to Eve. She shook her head angrily.

"Wadaya mean wrong color!!!" he howled in disbelief.

"It's blue... I hate blue... especially that shade. You know that! Find one in mauve!"

Adam was fed up. He swerved the Astrocruiser hard to the left and banked into a dive towards the blue sphere. "For gawd's sake Eve, I'm just going to dump the damn sewage tanks. I need a planet for that, this is it. Nuff said."

"Oh yeah Mr. Genius, Why didn't you just dump it in space?"

"I love that!!!" He didn't. "You always know better. No matter what. Especially when you're wrong." Adam was gesturing wildly in the air. "You ever hit any of that stuff at light speed?"

Eve just glared back.

"No amount of washing will clean it off. Believe me for once, you don't want this stuff floating around. I'm dumping it here." Adam flipped a switch on the console and the Astrocruiser lurched... two house-sized blobs emerged from the bottom. Adam carefully inched the cruiser away, then accelerated out of the atmosphere. The blobs broke up into a vast rain of organic sludge. Some was destroyed by the entry into the lower atmosphere, but most pelted a 10 square kilometer area of ocean. It quickly merged with the roiling seas and seemingly disappeared.

In this litigation filled, everything restricted, license for this and that universe, dumping sewage anywhere but a certified life extermination receptacle is strictly prohibited by law. Then again, pretty much everything is. Adam agreed that laws should be obeyed, but, one really isn't guilty of breaking a law if one is not caught. So, it was alright.

Adam steered a course back to the interstellar spaceway. Eve emerged from the now usable lavatory, lighter and happier. She was refreshed and prepared to scourge Adam for another 100 light years or more.

Adam and Eve didn't know, or care, that their thoughtless act would have any serious consequences. Now, in the previously unspoiled oceans of an unsuspecting planet, life had been seeded. The die was cast. The only ingredient needed now was time.

A CLOSING NOTE

Life is a disease that planets get. Nice barren rock gets covered with green spots and growths form everywhere. Oceans get thick with algae and organic slime. Planets get sicker as they accumulate a layer of plant farts several miles thick. The highly toxic oxygen content allows combustion and often, the plant life incinerates itself.

Don't allow this to continue. Join the "Back to Minerals" movement. The rewards are many. Be not a slave of the Biological clock... Spend millions of years as a calcite deposit. Crystallize into quartz, or those of you with real ambition can try for diamond.

Just a thought.